Mother violated relocation restriction, now what?

[reddsman14]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee

I just received news that the mother of my 11 year old daughter (who lives very close) bought a house 55 miles away from me. The parenting plan says if she moves more than 50 miles away that she needs to send me a certified mail 60 days in advance, which she didn't do.

I'm the primary parent on the parenting plan and we share custody 50/50. Currently our daughter is in online school, so the move is not a problem with CURRENT school arrangements, however I wanted to put my daughter back into a real school soon nearby, and I know what's going to happen, the mother is going to try to put our daughter into a school out near her, which is better than our public schools here (I'd have to put her in a magnet school). If she went to school out there, I'd be cut out of the picture as a father, compared to now.

Is there anything I can do about her violating the 50 mile limit of the parenting plan, given that the house is already been bought? (BTW the house was bought with her and her unmarried boyfriend who wanted to live there to be near HIS daughter)

 

[quincy]

A 5 mile difference?

 

[Just Blue]

px hx

 

[reddsman14]

A 5 mile difference?

No, a 54 mile difference. She lives a mile away from me while we have been coparenting, so I see my daughter 6 days a week. she's moving another 54 miles away without taking at all in consideration that we've been coparenting with me having my daughter the majority of the time. Maybe only 5 mile diff to the max limit of the parenting plan but the plan was to put our daughter back into real school

 

[Zigner]

1: You say she just bought the house, not that she moved. It's quite possible that she will still comply.
2: The purpose of the notice is to give you the opportunity to object (in court) to the move. If you object, then take it to court now.

As an aside, a difference of ~5 miles is not really going to cause an issue insofar as the order is concerned. Don't be petty.

 

[AlmostThere]

If I am reading this correctly, the distance is the issue, the change of school districts is the issue. Do you have any plans in place for your daughter to return to regular school? What is your current custody schedule?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee

I just received news that the mother of my 11 year old daughter (who lives very close) bought a house 55 miles away from me. The parenting plan says if she moves more than 50 miles away that she needs to send me a certified mail 60 days in advance, which she didn't do.

I'm the primary parent on the parenting plan and we share custody 50/50. Currently our daughter is in online school, so the move is not a problem with CURRENT school arrangements, however I wanted to put my daughter back into a real school soon nearby, and I know what's going to happen, the mother is going to try to put our daughter into a school out near her, which is better than our public schools here (I'd have to put her in a magnet school). If she went to school out there, I'd be cut out of the picture as a father, compared to now.

Is there anything I can do about her violating the 50 mile limit of the parenting plan, given that the house is already been bought? (BTW the house was bought with her and her unmarried boyfriend who wanted to live there to be near HIS daughter)

The problem that I forsee right now is the status quo is that your daughter is in online school which does not pose a problem regarding mom's move.
I think that you would need to be able to argue that mom knew that your intent was to put the child back in regular school, agreed with that intent, but chose to move away anyway. You want to argue for a timeshare that would accomodate your child going to school in your area. However, if mom's new area really is significantly better, school wise, then that could possibly be a tough argument to make. However, if your daughter is well established in your community with friends and activities, then it might not be a tough argument to make. At the same time, mom can argue to keep status quo (online schooling) so as to keep the same timeshare.

The judge can't stop mom from moving. The judge can only adjust the parenting plan. Therefore you need to decide what is in the best interest of your child and act accordingly.

 

[stealth2]

Is there anything I can do about her violating the 50-mile limit of the parenting plan, given that the house is already been bought? (BTW the house was bought with her and her unmarried boyfriend who wanted to live there to be near HIS daughter)

Well.... she has not yet violated anything. Buying a house doesn't mean she has already moved. Buying the house (with her b/f) doesn't necessarily mean SHE plans on moving yet. I can see any number of scenarios where she's not moving for 60+ days (and the + could be quite a while). Personally? I'd start with both talking to Mom and at least a consult with an attorney to explore possible next steps.

 

[zddoodah]

I just received news that the mother of my 11 year old daughter (who lives very close) bought a house 55 miles away from me. The parenting plan says if she moves more than 50 miles away that she needs to send me a certified mail 60 days in advance, which she didn't do.

I needs to be pointed out (1) the "news" you received might not be accurate and (2) buying a house and moving aren't the same thing. What is the source of the news? Has she actually closed escrow and taken title? Or is it just in the works? Has she actually moved? Isn't it possible that she's in the process of buying doesn't intend to move for, e.g., 75 days and intends to give you the required notice? Have you called her to tell her about this "news" and ask about her intentions?

Until you answer these questions, there's no real point in saying anything further.

 

[reddsman14]

The mother has taken title to the house and moved over an hour away. Without giving me the required 60 day certified mail notice.

Now what do I do? I'm not ready to put my child into a real school yet, but the day will come.

I want to keep the custody at 50/50 (no child support) and avoid the court system even if 50/50 cant be the reality when I try to put my child into school.

The problem is that she will try to put my child in a public school out there which is better than the public school here, and she violated the court order to put herself in the position to be able to do that. Would the judge (in the court of my school zone) let her take my child away from me just because she argues that the school is better out there?

 

[stealth2]

The mother has taken title to the house and moved over an hour away. Without giving me the required 60 day certified mail notice.

Now what do I do?

Since she has actually moved (and it's assumed you have actual, admissible evidence of that), then you file against her for contempt and request a modifcation of your custody/parenting time order. I'd likely be talking to a lawyer.

 

[Just Blue]

The mother has taken title to the house and moved over an hour away. Without giving me the required 60 day certified mail notice.

Now what do I do? I'm not ready to put my child into a real school yet, but the day will come.

I want to keep the custody at 50/50 (no child support) and avoid the court system even if 50/50 cant be the reality when I try to put my child into school.

The problem is that she will try to put my child in a public school out there which is better than the public school here, and she violated the court order to put herself in the position to be able to do that. Would the judge (in the court of my school zone) let her take my child away from me just because she argues that the school is better out there?

I'm curious...

Why wouldn't you want your child to go to the best school possible?

 

[reddsman14]

Since she has actually moved (and it's assumed you have actual, admissible evidence of that), then you file against her for contempt and request a modifcation of your custody/parenting time order. I'd likely be talking to a lawyer.

I don't see what I would accomplish by filing for contempt, since I already have primary custody. It won't change anything except award me more parenting time and child support. I don't want the child support, and I would automatically get all the parenting time I want anyway by putting my son in a public school one day, which I have the right to. I mean, I'm already guaranteed 50/50 now and I'm happy to accept more time without court order or child support when she can't make the trips to the school here.

Why spend all that money to take her to court which will not give me any effective change that I want.

Do I have to take her to court now, just to prepare for something a couple years away, IF she decides to take ME to court to try to put him into a school out there?

Just because she's required to give me 60 day notice and didn't, why do I have to uproot my finances and pay an attorney now, if I can just ask that she be in contempt when she tries to put him into school out there in a couple years?

 

[stealth2]

To add.... I would focus on the lack of notice, rather than the 55 vs. 50 miles. I'd also stop referring to "real" school, as that implies she is not currently attending "real" school, because online is as "real" as brick-and-mortar. Focus on his achievements in school, and the benefits he has from being schooled online. I also wouldn't breathe a word of wanting to send him to a brick-and-mortar school at this point.

 

[stealth2]

I don't see what I would accomplish by filing for contempt, since I already have primary custody. It won't change anything except award me more parenting time and child support. I don't want the child support, and I would automatically get all the parenting time I want anyway by putting my son in a public school one day, which I have the right to. I mean, I'm already guaranteed 50/50 now and I'm happy to accept more time without court order or child support when she can't make the trips to the school here.

Why spend all that money to take her to court which will not give me any effective change that I want.

Do I have to take her to court now, just to prepare for something a couple years away, IF she decides to take ME to court to try to put him into a school out there?

Just because she's required to give me 60 day notice and didn't, why do I have to uproot my finances and pay an attorney now, if I can just ask that she be in contempt when she tries to put him into school out there in a couple years?

What you gain is the advantage of being proactive vs reactive. But hey - you do you.

You have primary physical - what about legal?