NC parent going for custody

[hoping76]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

I will attempt to make this somewhat short. 2009 accident in my home son was mildly burned. I treat it with neosporin, band aids etc. His father and my mother take him to urgent care without informing me. Dr. says it's suspicious that I am not present. I get charged with a felony. I was very scared and had a bad attorney. Took misdemeanor plea deal and to avoid son being in foster care, signed custody over to his father.

Since then, his father has not provided anything for my son. No food, clothing, shelter or medical care. His father is more concerned with drinking, partying, his new family. There is no room for my son, no bed, no clothes-nothing over there. Son has stayed with my parents or myself since then.

I am going for custody. I cannot contact my ex for he has no phone, email, internet and is never home. My parents say they just want my son to be theirs and will not assist me in my fight. I have numerous witnesses to testify on my behalf. My son says he wants to be with me. I gathered my long steady work history, parenting class, photos of my son and I doing various things. I have also gathered pics of his father's lifestyle over past few years and documented his sporadic visits

I was simply wondering if anyone could provide any more advice or thoughts on the situation. Seems I am not only fighting for custody with my non communicative ex but also against my parents in a way even though they are not legally involved or part of it.

Thank you. If you need more info, I will be glad to provide it.

Kim

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

I will attempt to make this somewhat short. 2009 accident in my home son was mildly burned. I treat it with neosporin, band aids etc. His father and my mother take him to urgent care without informing me. Dr. says it's suspicious that I am not present. I get charged with a felony. I was very scared and had a bad attorney. Took misdemeanor plea deal and to avoid son being in foster care, signed custody over to his father.

Since then, his father has not provided anything for my son. No food, clothing, shelter or medical care. His father is more concerned with drinking, partying, his new family. There is no room for my son, no bed, no clothes-nothing over there. Son has stayed with my parents or myself since then.

I am going for custody. I cannot contact my ex for he has no phone, email, internet and is never home. My parents say they just want my son to be theirs and will not assist me in my fight. I have numerous witnesses to testify on my behalf. My son says he wants to be with me. I gathered my long steady work history, parenting class, photos of my son and I doing various things. I have also gathered pics of his father's lifestyle over past few years and documented his sporadic visits

I was simply wondering if anyone could provide any more advice or thoughts on the situation. Seems I am not only fighting for custody with my non communicative ex but also against my parents in a way even though they are not legally involved or part of it.

Thank you. If you need more info, I will be glad to provide it.

Kim

File for custody. Ask for a GAL to be appointed. Your son does NOT get to choose however and you cannot elicit a statement from him at all.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

I will attempt to make this somewhat short. 2009 accident in my home son was mildly burned. I treat it with neosporin, band aids etc. His father and my mother take him to urgent care without informing me. Dr. says it's suspicious that I am not present. I get charged with a felony. I was very scared and had a bad attorney. Took misdemeanor plea deal and to avoid son being in foster care, signed custody over to his father.

Since then, his father has not provided anything for my son. No food, clothing, shelter or medical care. His father is more concerned with drinking, partying, his new family. There is no room for my son, no bed, no clothes-nothing over there. Son has stayed with my parents or myself since then.

I am going for custody. I cannot contact my ex for he has no phone, email, internet and is never home. My parents say they just want my son to be theirs and will not assist me in my fight. I have numerous witnesses to testify on my behalf. My son says he wants to be with me. I gathered my long steady work history, parenting class, photos of my son and I doing various things. I have also gathered pics of his father's lifestyle over past few years and documented his sporadic visits

I was simply wondering if anyone could provide any more advice or thoughts on the situation. Seems I am not only fighting for custody with my non communicative ex but also against my parents in a way even though they are not legally involved or part of it.

Thank you. If you need more info, I will be glad to provide it.

Kim

What, exactly, did you plead to?

And how, exactly, was child burned?

 

[Ohiogal]

What, exactly, did you plead to?

And how, exactly, was child burned?

A misdeamnor is considered hearsay and is not admissible according to Evid. R. 803(22).

 

[Zigner]

Going from:

Dr. says it's suspicious that I am not present.

To:

I get charged with a felony.

is a HUGE leap. We are NOT getting the whole story on this one...

 

[Zigner]

A misdeamnor is considered hearsay and is not admissible according to Evid. R. 803(22).

Darn you and your lawyerly knowledge!

 

[Ohiogal]

Going from:
To: is a HUGE leap. We are NOT getting the whole story on this one...

No we aren't getting the whole story at all.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Posting hx

From March 2010:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/trouble-ex-visitation-509079.html

https://forum.freeadvice.com/other-crimes-federal-state-4/no-contact-order-509082.html#post2515338

OP has a habit of omitting a lot.

Who's holding the crystal ball this week?

 

[CSO286]

A misdeamnor is considered hearsay and is not admissible according to Evid. R. 803(22).

Ditto Zig!!

But yeah, I can't see mom winning this out of hand....which is why I went the dentist route.

 

[hoping76]

whole story eh? Using old threads from a year ago? Attacking me?

Here, I divorced my child's father. He was angry and bitter. He threatened to break into my house. Told others he was stalking me. He is bipolar (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and is supposed to be on medication.

My parents hated him. At first we had joint custody. My son lived with me unless I was working and my parents watched him during that time. His father at first did follow through with visitation days. There was still a lot of bitterness involved. Now before anyone says oh...yeah bitterness....the man does not work, never has, preferred to never be home or help with household chores. Ran up credit cards, constantly lied...the final straw was when my uncle passed away from lung cancer and I told my ex that he would have to watch our child so my parents and I could attend the military funeral. He refused saying he had better things to do.

Fast forward to comments on previous post about the police being called and no contact. My ex was informed by my attorney that he had to provide a contact phone number and make me aware of where my son was when he had him. This occurred because when my son's father did pick him up, he had a bunch of people who abuse alcohol and use drugs watch him. There were also times he took the child out of state and never notified anyone. That time mentioned in the post was not the first time we had gone through this. My husband did handle it incorrectly I agree.

The accident. I am not omitting information. I was in a hurry before going to work. First, yes, my son's father pretty much allows my son to live with my parents. Parents who physically and mentally abused me throughout my childhood. My mother is a narcisstic controlling woman with OCD. She tells my son that she cannot sleep or eat unless he is there. I have had to physically remove her arms from my son while attempting to bring him home. She flat out told me that she wants my son with her. They went from hating my ex to giving him money, buying him a car, inviting him for holidays and dinners, more money. There reasoning as explained to me was so they can have my son with them.

The accident occurred by the water in my sink faucet being to hot. He did not cry. It was a little red. I put neosporin on it, bandaged it and put him to bed. The next morning he colored pictures with me and was fine. This is not a fabrication at all. My mother called to say I never let my son over there and she never sees him which was not true because at this time she watched him while I worked 5 days a week. She went on and on so I finally gave in and went over there. I told her about the accident, gave her the neosporin. I told her he seems fine but if it starts to hurt you may wanna give him some pain reliever. I kissed him, hugged him and came back home.

I got a phone call with my son's father calling me names and saying they were going to make a dr's appt to get the burn checked out. I said okay, let me know when I will take him. I heard nothing else until about an hour later when the police showed up at my door. THey told me the dr. filed a report saying it was suspicious I was not at the dr office at the time. I told them I was not made aware they were taking him today, my ex just said they would get an appt. I had to go to the station and make a statement. The police officers said nothing would come of it.

Turns out my mother told the dr. "oh she just dropped him off like that". Then told him I left in a hurry. She later claimed she never said that but my lawyer had it in the papers. I was charged with a felony yes. Child endangerment. I was told the ONLY reason I was charged with that was because I was not at the dr that day and because of what my mother said. My attorney was not that helpful. He told me over and over that we could possible win the case but you never know what your mom is going to say and you could go to jail for 5 years and never be able to get your son back ever. I would have lost my job of 15+ years and my home. I was more worried about never ever getting my son back. I panicked and took the plea of a misdemeanor which was I believe failure to provide medical attention. I also received 2 year unsupervised probation.

Mind you the water heater has been fixed and the water temp turned down. I never allow him to turn the faucet on now. In fact he complains it's too cold.

My ex has had the physical and legal custody. He would get my son at first but not once has my son lived with him. He has not provided food, clothing or shelter for him. My son does not even have a bed at his father's apartment. He does not have a phone or a job. The evidence I have shows all he does is party with his friends. This month alone he has spent only 7 hours max with his son.

My parents do take great care of my child, but my son should be living with a parent. That parent in my opinion should be me. I do not drink. I do not do drugs. I have had the same job since 1994. I have a house. He has a room full of toys and clothes. He says he wants to be with me. I have taken a parenting course as well.

I keep track of how often I have my son, what we do, when my ex actually does visit. My parents refuse to assist me because, as I said, my mom wants my son with her. She says she cannot live if he is not with her. My dad says how dare I do this when my son's father will just seek retribution as he has before.

I hope that is enough information for all the hateful people who have commented. If you cannot provide actually helpful comments, do not respond. As the old saying goes, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

 

[stealth2]

whole story eh? Using old threads from a year ago? Attacking me?

Here, I divorced my child's father. He was angry and bitter. He threatened to break into my house. Told others he was stalking me. He is bipolar (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and is supposed to be on medication.

My parents hated him. At first we had joint custody. My son lived with me unless I was working and my parents watched him during that time. His father at first did follow through with visitation days. There was still a lot of bitterness involved. Now before anyone says oh...yeah bitterness....the man does not work, never has, preferred to never be home or help with household chores. Ran up credit cards, constantly lied...the final straw was when my uncle passed away from lung cancer and I told my ex that he would have to watch our child so my parents and I could attend the military funeral. He refused saying he had better things to do.

<snip>

The accident. I am not omitting information. I was in a hurry before going to work. First, yes, my son's father pretty much allows my son to live with my parents. Parents who physically and mentally abused me throughout my childhood. My mother is a narcisstic controlling woman with OCD. She tells my son that she cannot sleep or eat unless he is there. I have had to physically remove her arms from my son while attempting to bring him home. She flat out told me that she wants my son with her. They went from hating my ex to giving him money, buying him a car, inviting him for holidays and dinners, more money. There reasoning as explained to me was so they can have my son with them.

Yet... This is the SAME mother who YOU chose to watch your son in the first place. Kinda makes one wonder, ya know?

Fast forward to comments on previous post about the police being called and no contact. My ex was informed by my attorney that he had to provide a contact phone number and make me aware of where my son was when he had him. This occurred because when my son's father did pick him up, he had a bunch of people who abuse alcohol and use drugs watch him. There were also times he took the child out of state and never notified anyone. That time mentioned in the post was not the first time we had gone through this. My husband did handle it incorrectly I agree.

Unless the JUDGE informed your ex that he had to provide this info? Dad does NOT have to. Your lawyer has no authority to demand ANYTHING. NONE. And neither do YOU.

 

[Ohiogal]

whole story eh? Using old threads from a year ago? Attacking me?

Here, I divorced my child's father. He was angry and bitter. He threatened to break into my house. Told others he was stalking me. He is bipolar (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and is supposed to be on medication.

Doesn't matter. He has custody now. That is what matters.

My parents hated him. At first we had joint custody. My son lived with me unless I was working and my parents watched him during that time. His father at first did follow through with visitation days. There was still a lot of bitterness involved. Now before anyone says oh...yeah bitterness....the man does not work, never has, preferred to never be home or help with household chores. Ran up credit cards, constantly lied...the final straw was when my uncle passed away from lung cancer and I told my ex that he would have to watch our child so my parents and I could attend the military funeral. He refused saying he had better things to do.

The last straw was he wouldn't watch your mutual child so you could go with your abusive, controlling OCD parents to a funeral? The same parents who were abusive watched your child because you allowed them to watch your child? You seem to be lying. Or you are showing that you really were unfit to let abusive people watch your child.

Fast forward to comments on previous post about the police being called and no contact. My ex was informed by my attorney that he had to provide a contact phone number and make me aware of where my son was when he had him. This occurred because when my son's father did pick him up, he had a bunch of people who abuse alcohol and use drugs watch him. There were also times he took the child out of state and never notified anyone. That time mentioned in the post was not the first time we had gone through this. My husband did handle it incorrectly I agree.

Your husband could have been arrested. Your attorney could NOT force dad to tell you anything quite frankly. Your ex didn't have to tell you anything unless the COURT ordered it. Plain and simple. And if a court ordered micromanaging to that extent there would have had to be a lot of evidence presented and dad would have had supervised visits. So not buying that your ex had to do ANYTHING. Your accusations not holding water quite frankly.

The accident. I am not omitting information. I was in a hurry before going to work. First, yes, my son's father pretty much allows my son to live with my parents. Parents who physically and mentally abused me throughout my childhood. My mother is a narcisstic controlling woman with OCD. She tells my son that she cannot sleep or eat unless he is there. I have had to physically remove her arms from my son while attempting to bring him home. She flat out told me that she wants my son with her. They went from hating my ex to giving him money, buying him a car, inviting him for holidays and dinners, more money. There reasoning as explained to me was so they can have my son with them.

And? You are ommitting information. Yet those parents who were physically and mentally abusive to you, you allowed to watch your child. How hypocritical are you?
You are allowed the time as ordered in the court order. That is all to which you are entitled unless dad permits other times.

The accident occurred by the water in my sink faucet being to hot. He did not cry. It was a little red. I put neosporin on it, bandaged it and put him to bed. The next morning he colored pictures with me and was fine. This is not a fabrication at all. My mother called to say I never let my son over there and she never sees him which was not true because at this time she watched him while I worked 5 days a week. She went on and on so I finally gave in and went over there. I told her about the accident, gave her the neosporin. I told her he seems fine but if it starts to hurt you may wanna give him some pain reliever. I kissed him, hugged him and came back home.

A little red? Really? You willingly took him to abusive people to watch him?

I got a phone call with my son's father calling me names and saying they were going to make a dr's appt to get the burn checked out. I said okay, let me know when I will take him. I heard nothing else until about an hour later when the police showed up at my door. THey told me the dr. filed a report saying it was suspicious I was not at the dr office at the time. I told them I was not made aware they were taking him today, my ex just said they would get an appt. I had to go to the station and make a statement. The police officers said nothing would come of it.

The police do not decide who is charged and who is not -- the prosecutor does.

Turns out my mother told the dr. "oh she just dropped him off like that". Then told him I left in a hurry.

Which was the truth. Apparently the burn was blistering and severe.

She later claimed she never said that but my lawyer had it in the papers. I was charged with a felony yes. Child endangerment. I was told the ONLY reason I was charged with that was because I was not at the dr that day and because of what my mother said.

Bull. You were also charged due to the severity of the burn. The fact that you hadn't gotten the child care and he was severely burned and you weren't there because everything else was more important is a factor in your neglect of the child.

My attorney was not that helpful. He told me over and over that we could possible win the case but you never know what your mom is going to say and you could go to jail for 5 years and never be able to get your son back ever. I would have lost my job of 15+ years and my home. I was more worried about never ever getting my son back. I panicked and took the plea of a misdemeanor which was I believe failure to provide medical attention. I also received 2 year unsupervised probation.

A misdemeanor?

Mind you the water heater has been fixed and the water temp turned down. I never allow him to turn the faucet on now. In fact he complains it's too cold.

Doesn't matter.

My ex has had the physical and legal custody. He would get my son at first but not once has my son lived with him. He has not provided food, clothing or shelter for him. My son does not even have a bed at his father's apartment. He does not have a phone or a job. The evidence I have shows all he does is party with his friends. This month alone he has spent only 7 hours max with his son.

Yet you were unfit to have your child. Why? Because you neglected him.

My parents do take great care of my child, but my son should be living with a parent. That parent in my opinion should be me. I do not drink. I do not do drugs. I have had the same job since 1994. I have a house. He has a room full of toys and clothes. He says he wants to be with me. I have taken a parenting course as well.

In your opinion. But you have been found neglectful to your child. You have admitted to leaving your child with abusive individuals.

I keep track of how often I have my son, what we do, when my ex actually does visit. My parents refuse to assist me because, as I said, my mom wants my son with her. She says she cannot live if he is not with her. My dad says how dare I do this when my son's father will just seek retribution as he has before.

Did you read what you have written in your threads?

I hope that is enough information for all the hateful people who have commented. If you cannot provide actually helpful comments, do not respond. As the old saying goes, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Helpful? The law is NOT helpful in your situation quite frankly. The law is not nice for your situation. You need to comprehend and understand.

 

[hoping76]

Gee, so sorry I had to go to a funeral of an uncle who died of lung cancer. That must be terrible.

I am not some 20 year old twit. My parents were focused on me being the perfect child-straight A's super skinny etc while I was in school. The abuse stopped 18 years ago. It is not like they beat me everyday with fists and hands. It would be if I got less than an A on a test or assignment and I would get the belt.

Son's pediatrician said the burns were only 1st degree burns thank you. He had no scarring and his hand was healed in less than a week. I was there, I was the one washing his hands.

My father is now almost 80 years old. My mother is in her 70's. What they did to me when I was a kid physically was long ago in the past 18 years ago.

The custody order that the JUDGE issued states that my ex must provide the phone contact. That same court order states no out of state visits unless the other parent is notified.

I do not believe my ex can possibly have me arrested for asking him to adhere to the court order.

I am no longer wasting my time with obviously useless posts from others.

 

[Ohiogal]

Gee, so sorry I had to go to a funeral of an uncle who died of lung cancer. That must be terrible.

I am not some 20 year old twit. My parents were focused on me being the perfect child-straight A's super skinny etc while I was in school. The abuse stopped 18 years ago. It is not like they beat me everyday with fists and hands. It would be if I got less than an A on a test or assignment and I would get the belt.

Son's pediatrician said the burns were only 1st degree burns thank you. He had no scarring and his hand was healed in less than a week. I was there, I was the one washing his hands.

My father is now almost 80 years old. My mother is in her 70's. What they did to me when I was a kid physically was long ago in the past 18 years ago.

The custody order that the JUDGE issued states that my ex must provide the phone contact. That same court order states no out of state visits unless the other parent is notified.

I do not believe my ex can possibly have me arrested for asking him to adhere to the court order.

I am no longer wasting my time with obviously useless posts from others.

Useless posts? Hmmm.. where did you get your law degree? What type of law do you practice? I am licensed by the Ohio Supreme Court. Work in juvenile and domestic relations. I can tell you that "only 1st degree burns" are considered serious when it comes to going to a doctor. You screwed up. You are full of excuses. The order goes both ways apparently. You might want to actually listen to what you are being told. Seriously.

 

[stealth2]

Gee, so sorry I had to go to a funeral of an uncle who died of lung cancer. That must be terrible.

I am not some 20 year old twit. My parents were focused on me being the perfect child-straight A's super skinny etc while I was in school. The abuse stopped 18 years ago. It is not like they beat me everyday with fists and hands. It would be if I got less than an A on a test or assignment and I would get the belt.

Son's pediatrician said the burns were only 1st degree burns thank you. He had no scarring and his hand was healed in less than a week. I was there, I was the one washing his hands.

My father is now almost 80 years old. My mother is in her 70's. What they did to me when I was a kid physically was long ago in the past 18 years ago.

The custody order that the JUDGE issued states that my ex must provide the phone contact. That same court order states no out of state visits unless the other parent is notified.

I do not believe my ex can possibly have me arrested for asking him to adhere to the court order.

I am no longer wasting my time with obviously useless posts from others.

We go by what you post. You posted that your parents were abusive to you, and that you still allowed them to watch your son. What conclusion would YOU draw?

And you said that your LAYWER demanded that he provide phone numbers, etc. Now it's the judge. Make up your mind. Frankly, I'm not sure ANY of you should have this child. You all seem more than a wee bit flakey.

A first degree burn does not necessarily mean it does not need medical attention. And I do not buy that you were charged with a felony simply for not being the one at the doctor's.