Need help!!!

[breezymom]

Not that the OP is going to listen but... they usually appoint a law guardian to represent the child. Since the boy is 7 the law guardian should be able to have a productive conversation with him (My daughter was less than 2, so the her law guardian didn't have much to go on. However the guardian spoke with me and asked to speak to her father, to hear both sides of the story.)

I was going to mention this, too, but she isn't listening. One of the things that OG has pointed out on here, several times, is that usually the GAL isn't too happy if the parents are using alienation tactics. And, in this case, it seems like...seems...like both are, which is not only majorly crap for the child, but the GAL probably won't be the happiest person on earth with *either* parent.

 

[CSO286]

I was going to mention this, too, but she isn't listening. One of the things that OG has pointed out on here, several times, is that usually the GAL isn't too happy if the parents are using alienation tactics. And, in this case, it seems like...seems...like both are, which is not only majorly crap for the child, but the GAL probably won't be the happiest person on earth with *either* parent.

I wish OG and Stealth could come out of the timeout chair soon..... I miss them.

 

[mariasusa]

I wish OG and Stealth could come out of the timeout chair soon..... I miss them.

OK, I'll get at the dead horse too...

Mom, obviously you've gotten lots of feedback and everyone, without exception is saying the same thing - which says a lot.

It IS horrible dad hasn't built a relationship with his 7 year old so far. It sucks and I would be angry and concerned too. However 1. Legal FACT is the courts want the child to have a relationship with their parents...so when the parent shows the interest (filing for visitation/custody) they absolutely get a visitation plan. PERIOD.

I remember hearing about cases like this...and being appalled. A lot of years have passed and I've learned a lot about how family law works. Dad could have disappeared off the face of the earth for 12 years, but guess what, he would still get visitation rights.

Where the court WILL care about the best interests of the child - since dad hasn't been around for 7 years...is probably offer a introduction period and supervised visits. I would ask for counseling for the son. (or do that anyway on your own).

Where YOU made the horrible mistake is by teaching your son your anxiety that dad will be in and out, he was abandoned, that he has a voice in court (which of course he will use your voice). WAY too much responsibility to put on this kids shoulders (and if you can't see that you could really use a parenting class), and the courts do frown on parental alienation. However, what I see is you DO NOT KNOW if dad is going to be in and out...geez, your teaching your kid your fears...poor little guy. Try to get support in shifting your anger at dad somewhere else...cause little guy is getting all of it.

 

[breezymom]

I wish OG and Stealth could come out of the timeout chair soon..... I miss them.

I just can't let some of the things they say go unsaid. They aren't necessarily what people *want* to hear, but really need to listen to.

I just wonder what some folks do at their jobs when they have to work with difficult people, as well. ANY sort of relationship takes a lot of work, whether it's marriage, work, or *gasp* dealing with your child's other parent. My child's dad scares the living crap out of me, but I STILL keep communication business-like and keep any animosity away from my child on my side.

YOU, OP, just like me, canNOT control your ex's behavior--only your own.