need lawyer advice for two cases, son facing child molestation charges....

[bradthebloke]

What happened when you called the police to help you?

i didnt. i didnt want her to get in trouble as she has called police before like in 09 and admitted to beatin on me again and the same thing happened, i would push her out of the way and leave. the police at that time were going to take her down since she admitted to hitting me but decided not to for whatever reason. then when it happened again in 2012, I left again and she called and they issued warrant. it wasnt until later i found out that when its happening that i need to call police. i just wanted to leave. but i did pull her out of way and she did get bruise so thats what my court is for. Im not a wife beater whatsoever, im 36 years old and this is the first this has ever happened as no other woman ive dated has force me to physically remove her from the door as no other woman ive dated has ever hit me.

But I will take whatever punishment I receive. I just saw no harm in having her sign affidavit given the circumstances. But i do not want her to sign it if its going to make my daughters case go bad. so that was my main question, if she signs it, does it make her look like a liar and will that give my sons lawyer cause to call her a liar and say she coached my daughter? which i truly believe did not happen.

 

[Ladyback1]

getting my bottom off the pan as it goes down next week. the charges with the son will take awhile to go forward. I want to get off but i DO NOT want to mess up anything that happens with my daughters case so if my wife signs an affidavit getting me off, can they use that affidavit in my sons case to call my wife a liar and say she possibly coached my daughter? If my son did do this than I do want justice to come to light and I want to have nothing done in my personal case to affect that case.

If someone did that to my son like a relative or whatnot, I would want that relative to get their comeuppance as well. Hes my son and I love him but this lil girl is only 4 years old whereas my son is 17.

I'm going to say yes, it could be used to show that she has issues w/ telling the truth. Take your lumps like a man.

And you moved her in a "rage"? Sounds like Jr. may not be the only one with some issues.

Your son may be charged as an adult.

Seriously, your significant other called the cops for a domestic violence incident, they came out--and you didn't know for 2 years you had a warrant??

 

[bradthebloke]

I'm going to say yes, it could be used to show that she has issues w/ telling the truth. Take your lumps like a man.

And you moved her in a "rage"? Sounds like Jr. may not be the only one with some issues.

Your son may be charged as an adult.

Seriously, your significant other called the cops for a domestic violence incident, they came out--and you didn't know for 2 years you had a warrant??

once again since the point isnt getting through. I have no problems taking my "lumps". and i think if anyone is beating on ya for awhile you will get angry. no i did not know I had a warrant. I havent been pulled over in two years and I moved. Nothing was ever sent to my new house. If you really think im lying about anything maybe dont reply? But i do appreciate your advice on how they may show she has issues telling the truth so I will prob not try to get her to sign the affidavit as i do not want it affecting my daughters case. thank you

 

[RRevak]

OP let me explain what's wrong with this picture. You hurt your wife, received an arrest warrant for said "moment of rage", and now you want her to lie so you don't get in trouble for it. What message does that send to your son who is also facing some SERIOUS allegations/charges? It says lying is ok when you screw up as long as its "for a good cause" which is very VERY wrong. You need to be focusing ONLY on getting your daughter therapy and figuring out what needs to happen for your older son. If you don't already have an attorney for him then you need to be hightailing it out to get him one. You need to be focusing on keeping him away from your daughter and working with the investigators to get to the root of the problem. You having your wife lie can definitely be a kink in the hose so to speak so if you really want to help your daughter then telling your wife to lie is a huge mistake, esp if you're concerned about it jeopardizing the help your daughter needs. Seriously, how would you feel if it DID jeopardize things just because you chose to be dishonest? Stop focusing on you and start focusing on your children. If you feel you are going to jail then its time you start working your butt off to ensure your wife has help available to continue with the investigation work and requirements without you.

 

[bradthebloke]

OP let me explain what's wrong with this picture. You hurt your wife, received an arrest warrant for said "moment of rage", and now you want her to lie so you don't get in trouble for it. What message does that send to your son who is also facing some SERIOUS allegations/charges? It says lying is ok when you screw up as long as its "for a good cause" which is very VERY wrong. You need to be focusing ONLY on getting your daughter therapy and figuring out what needs to happen for your older son. If you don't already have an attorney for him then you need to be hightailing it out to get him one. You need to be focusing on keeping him away from your daughter and working with the investigators to get to the root of the problem. You having your wife lie can definitely be a kink in the hose so to speak so if you really want to help your daughter then telling your wife to lie is a huge mistake, esp if you're concerned about it jeopardizing the help your daughter needs. Seriously, how would you feel if it DID jeopardize things just because you chose to be dishonest? Stop focusing on you and start focusing on your children. If you feel you are going to jail then its time you start working your butt off to ensure your wife has help available to continue with the investigation work and requirements without you.

I appreciate the feedback. I will leave the affidavit alone as i dont want any kinks in the hose. As far as my son, his mother says I cant see him anymore and she disconnected his phone. I did try to call the other day to see how he was doing but she didnt answer. Im only guessing she got him a lawyer and they possibly told her not to speak with me? CPS stated he is no longer allowed to be around kids so he cant be here anyways, (not that I would want him to given the severity of the situation.

 

[Ladyback1]

once again since the point isnt getting through. I have no problems taking my "lumps". and i think if anyone is beating on ya for awhile you will get angry. no i did not know I had a warrant. I havent been pulled over in two years and I moved. Nothing was ever sent to my new house. If you really think im lying about anything maybe dont reply? But i do appreciate your advice on how they may show she has issues telling the truth so I will prob not try to get her to sign the affidavit as i do not want it affecting my daughters case. thank you

I don't know if your lying.
I just see some "hazy" areas of how the incident has gone.

Might I suggest that the whole family seek counseling? You and wife together, your daughter, and absolutely your son.

At 17 there is not, was not, nor ever will be an excuse for touching a 4 year old in a sexual manner. If, this is just all some sort of misunderstanding, then you will need counseling on how to deal with the aftermath.

(oh, and FYI--my Ex did "beat on me". Sure I got angry...but I NEVER hit him back. Quite simply, I got a divorce.)

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't know if your lying.
I just see some "hazy" areas of how the incident has gone.

Might I suggest that the whole family seek counseling? You and wife together, your daughter, and absolutely your son.

At 17 there is not, was not, nor ever will be an excuse for touching a 4 year old in a sexual manner. If, this is just all some sort of misunderstanding, then you will need counseling on how to deal with the aftermath.

(oh, and FYI--my Ex did "beat on me". Sure I got angry...but I NEVER hit him back. Quite simply, I got a divorce.)

Counseling, per you, is not the be all and end all. It either works or doesn't. The son definitely needs counseling as does the daughter but why the parents?

 

[bradthebloke]

I don't know if your lying.
I just see some "hazy" areas of how the incident has gone.

Might I suggest that the whole family seek counseling? You and wife together, your daughter, and absolutely your son.

At 17 there is not, was not, nor ever will be an excuse for touching a 4 year old in a sexual manner. If, this is just all some sort of misunderstanding, then you will need counseling on how to deal with the aftermath.

(oh, and FYI--my Ex did "beat on me". Sure I got angry...but I NEVER hit him back. Quite simply, I got a divorce.)

thank you. we are doing therapy. I dont know if son is or whats going on as they have cut off all contact with me. the detective told me they are submitting some stuff as evidence but said she couldnt give us details until the investigation is complete so i do not know whats going on. but thanks again. divorce may occur down the line. Just trying to keep it strong and together for our daughters sake.

 

[RRevak]

Counseling, per you, is not the be all and end all. It either works or doesn't. The son definitely needs counseling as does the daughter but why the parents?

Because its very clear that there are issues between them that are now bleeding into their abilities to parent the children.

 

[bradthebloke]

Counseling, per you, is not the be all and end all. It either works or doesn't. The son definitely needs counseling as does the daughter but why the parents?

I think perhaps my wife wants to do it to get over any issues we have as i stated I cant go through life getting hit by her then i defend myself by forcibly removing her from the door so i can leave and get arrested for it.

 

[Ladyback1]

Counseling, per you, is not the be all and end all. It either works or doesn't. The son definitely needs counseling as does the daughter but why the parents?

Counseling is not the be all, end all. Every situation in life does not call for "well, have you sought therapy?" or "why haven't you gotten the child in therapy?" But, there are situations where it is helpful.

Why the parents? Well, obviously they have issues given the history of domestic violence. And they are going to have to learn how best to handle a child that has been sexually molested. Traumatic events like this can tear apart a good solid marriage (relationship) because the parents do not know how to cope with the myriad of emotions.

 

[anearthw]

Were you not released under conditions not to talk to your wife/victim? It is certainly a criminal offense to talk with her about recanting in order to get DV charges dropped. At least, it usually is. Strange.

 

[bradthebloke]

Were you not released under conditions not to talk to your wife/victim? It is certainly a criminal offense to talk with her about recanting in order to get DV charges dropped. At least, it usually is. Strange.

no the police just released me after being in jail for 8 hours. wife bonded me out but didnt say i couldnt go home or anything like that.

 

[bradthebloke]

another thing to mention, my son turns 17 next month. I just say he is 17 since it is so close. will he be tried as minor since this occured when he was 16? my wife is pushing hard to try him as an adult but i dont think she has a saw in the matter i imagine?

 

[Proserpina]

another thing to mention, my son turns 17 next month. I just say he is 17 since it is so close. will he be tried as minor since this occured when he was 16? my wife is pushing hard to try him as an adult but i dont think she has a saw in the matter i imagine?

I can see the State wanting to charge him as an adult, yes.

He needs an attorney, no matter what. For the State to proceed there is obviously at least some evidence not in his favor. Sex crimes are notoriously difficult to successfully prosecute; it's not impossible that they'll charge him with something bigger and better in the hope that he'll plea to something.