need lawyer advice for two cases, son facing child molestation charges....

[Ohiogal]

Counseling is not the be all, end all. Every situation in life does not call for "well, have you sought therapy?" or "why haven't you gotten the child in therapy?" But, there are situations where it is helpful.

Why the parents? Well, obviously they have issues given the history of domestic violence. And they are going to have to learn how best to handle a child that has been sexually molested. Traumatic events like this can tear apart a good solid marriage (relationship) because the parents do not know how to cope with the myriad of emotions.

I asked you to substantiate your opinion like you have asked of me. You decided to be defensive about it.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think perhaps my wife wants to do it to get over any issues we have as i stated I cant go through life getting hit by her then i defend myself by forcibly removing her from the door so i can leave and get arrested for it.

And how have you responded to your wife? Apparently also physically. Which is an issue.

 

[bradthebloke]

And how have you responded to your wife? Apparently also physically. Which is an issue.

well this is the first time she has asked me to do it and i said i would. we arent fighting anymore as we always only ever fought about him. she has always hated him so i could see his defense saying that my daughter was coached, which by her recent behaivor she wasnt.

 

[anearthw]

no the police just released me after being in jail for 8 hours. wife bonded me out but didnt say i couldnt go home or anything like that.

I might have missed it but do you have your own attorney for the assault and do they know you've discussed this with your wife? It seems strange you have been charged with domestic assault and can live with the alleged victim. Discussing changing a story on the charge is usually construed as an offense.

 

[Ladyback1]

OP, it's a very bad situation for you and your family. If your son is guilty, that's awful because that means he has some issues. If your daughter either fabricated this on her own or Mom coached her--well, that's indicative of some other serious issues. There really is no good outcome, is there?

 

[bradthebloke]

I might have missed it but do you have your own attorney for the assault and do they know you've discussed this with your wife? It seems strange you have been charged with domestic assault and can live with the alleged victim. Discussing changing a story on the charge is usually construed as an offense.

yes i have a lawyer and he told me its ok to live with her, he just mentioned no more cops and we havent fought so it hasnt been an issue. he was the one advising me to get the affidavit but she wont do it, which is fine as i dont want it to mess with daughters case. he knows i have discussed it with her as he has met with both of us where we told him everything

 

[bradthebloke]

OP, it's a very bad situation for you and your family. If your son is guilty, that's awful because that means he has some issues. If your daughter either fabricated this on her own or Mom coached her--well, that's indicative of some other serious issues. There really is no good outcome, is there?

i concur, i think all i can do is give honest testimony regarding wifes history of hatred towards my son. But i need to also testify that my daughter has been acting a lot different. shes not as happy and she runs in closets and hides. I assume SOMETHING happened. I just dont know what.

 

[bradthebloke]

i also think something happened because my daughter is not just saying he touched her and thats it. she says she put his hot dog, (thats what she calls it) in her mouth and pushed her head farther and farther and she was choking. she also said he touched her front and her back and put spit on her behind. she went into detail for ten minutes about it with the police, the detective, the hospital and the forensic investigator and her story never strayed. the detective told me its hard to think a 4 year old could have that much detail for over ten minutes and never stray from the story when being interviewed by 4 or 5 people at different times allover the course of a few days. Plus I really dont think she could have been coached because she is with me literally all the time. I watch her all day and her mom comes home from work around 6 pm, we usually have dinner and then we put daughter to bed. she is literally never out of my site.

I did leave with my son on friday night and we stayed gone for the night but i do feel that it would take longer than one night for her to be coached to give such graphic detail that goes on for ten minutes. so i dont know what to think.

 

[anearthw]

yes i have a lawyer and he told me its ok to live with her, he just mentioned no more cops and we havent fought so it hasnt been an issue. he was the one advising me to get the affidavit but she wont do it, which is fine as i dont want it to mess with daughters case. he knows i have discussed it with her as he has met with both of us where we told him everything

That is so strange, I have never seen DV assault charges pending where spouses had no conditions, oh well first time for everything. Just give your truthful beliefs when questioned about the molestation charges, okay? You don't want to sell out your daughter OR disservice your son by doctoring up something that will only make it worse. Truth as you know it, and hope for the least destructive outcome.

 

[Ladyback1]

i also think something happened because my daughter is not just saying he touched her and thats it. she says she put his hot dog....Intentionally not quoted....

I did leave with my son on friday night and we stayed gone for the night but i do feel that it would take longer than one night for her to be coached to give such graphic detail that goes on for ten minutes. so i dont know what to think.

OP, what you described is more graphic than any of us needed to know....
Please no more details of the actual acts that occurred, but did this happen once or over time?

And what you indicate that your daughter has said is very horrific and sick.

 

[Ohiogal]

i also think something happened because my daughter is not just saying he touched her and thats it. she says she put his hot dog, (thats what she calls it) in her mouth and pushed her head farther and farther and she was choking. she also said he touched her front and her back and put spit on her behind. she went into detail for ten minutes about it with the police, the detective, the hospital and the forensic investigator and her story never strayed. the detective told me its hard to think a 4 year old could have that much detail for over ten minutes and never stray from the story when being interviewed by 4 or 5 people at different times allover the course of a few days. Plus I really dont think she could have been coached because she is with me literally all the time. I watch her all day and her mom comes home from work around 6 pm, we usually have dinner and then we put daughter to bed. she is literally never out of my site.

I did leave with my son on friday night and we stayed gone for the night but i do feel that it would take longer than one night for her to be coached to give such graphic detail that goes on for ten minutes. so i dont know what to think.

I can tell you that she was out of your sight at times. When she slept, when she played most likely, when did lots of things. So to say she was NEVER out of your sight and was LITERALLY with you all the time is not true. No parent has their child attached at the hip that much.

 

[bradthebloke]

That is so strange, I have never seen DV assault charges pending where spouses had no conditions, oh well first time for everything. Just give your truthful beliefs when questioned about the molestation charges, okay? You don't want to sell out your daughter OR disservice your son by doctoring up something that will only make it worse. Truth as you know it, and hope for the least destructive outcome.

that is exactly how i plan to go forward, thank you. you know, if nothing else, this panel is good as an outreach to talk about it and relieve some steam, sometimes its easier to talk with strangers than it is with family or relatives.

 

[bradthebloke]

OP, what you described is more graphic than any of us needed to know....
Please no more details of the actual acts that occurred, but did this happen once or over time?

And what you indicate that your daughter has said is very horrific and sick.

she said one time. that sad thing about it was i was here but i was upstairs asleep. it happened around 7 in the morning after my wife had left for work

 

[Ladyback1]

she said one time. that sad thing about it was i was here but i was upstairs asleep. it happened around 7 in the morning after my wife had left for work

Well, let's hope that is the ONLY time it happened. (preferably never happens, but over a period of time is worse than one time...)

What about the mother of your son? What is her take on all of this?

 

[bradthebloke]

Well, let's hope that is the ONLY time it happened. (preferably never happens, but over a period of time is worse than one time...)

What about the mother of your son? What is her take on all of this?

his mother was calling me cursing me out, threatening my wife and daughter saying we are all a bunch of liars and that my wife coached my daughter. I think it sunk in once the detective called her to bring him in for questioning. his mother called me and apologized and sounded really depressed. she then stopped talking to me ever since she stood the detective up and did not bring him in. Im only guessing maybe she got him a lawyer and he told her to cut off contact with me sicne we havent been in touch since.