NewB please help

[LdiJ]

Mom will be hurt by her PERSONAL behavior much more then dad will be by his WORK schedule. What may be a legal normality in most states is usually just the opposite in Texas. California lawyers complain about how screwed up the Texas court system is.

The STANDARD for Texas is joint LEGAL custody, with one parent being named "managing conservator" and the other parent getting EOW visitation. While, overall, mothers do end up as the managing conservator more often then fathers in Texas, the courts tend to be VERY hard on mothers that put their personal lives ahead of the children's needs. Mom's habit of disappearing for days while she goes out to party will be a tremendous blow if she is asking for primary custody. A Judge will recognize that a child is better off in daycare then with a mother that may disappear at the drop of a hat. The fact that he calls the in-laws to babysit when mom's a no-show only helps his case.

If it were me, I would file for a divorce, a TRO to remove mom from the house, temporary custody and temporary child support. As a MARRIED couple, proving mom is legally unfit is NOT necessary in order to get custody. All that needs to be proven is that the OP is MORE capable of caring for the child at this time.

I understand the standard for TX, however even the standard for TX doesn't give him any realistic chance at full custody. The standard for TX is joint legal, as you pointed out.

While I do understand that mom's personal behavior is a factor, he does have to be able to prove that in order to use it. In addition, even in TX there are non-traditional/non-standard parenting schedules that are ordered by courts or agreed to by parties.

If mom is going to be living with the grandparents (which seems to be what was implied), the child would certainly be better off spending weekends there, rather than in a 24 hour daycare. Dad works EVERY weekend.

I find this mother no more sympathetic than anyone else, however I would hate to see this child spend that much time in daycare, if there is another alternative.

 

[ljt_tech]

Just because I want a divorce does not mean I dont still love her.

STRIKE ONE!

Is there a general ball park of how much a lawyer would cost? I do not want to spend more than I have to.

STRIKE TWO!

I threatened to call the police. I am the one at fault in the divorce thus I feel guilty persuing any further legal action against her than what is necessary.

STRIKE THREE. YOU'RE OUT!

You ain't seen nothing yet junior.

I don't follow. What do you mean I have struck out. Struck out on the case?

 

[ljt_tech]

I understand the standard for TX, however even the standard for TX doesn't give him any realistic chance at full custody. The standard for TX is joint legal, as you pointed out.

I may or may not get full custody but it can't hurt to try for full custody. She is going to try for full custody as well. (or at least that was her stance on the matter last we spoke.)

While I do understand that mom's personal behavior is a factor, he does have to be able to prove that in order to use it. In addition, even in TX there are non-traditional/non-standard parenting schedules that are ordered by courts or agreed to by parties.

There is always “Joint managing conservator” making myself the primary (home) parent and sharing all other decision making amongst the two of us. There is always room for compromise.

If mom is going to be living with the grandparents (which seems to be what was implied), the child would certainly be better off spending weekends there, rather than in a 24 hour daycare. Dad works EVERY weekend. I find this mother no more sympathetic than anyone else, however I would hate to see this child spend that much time in daycare, if there is another alternative.

I have no doubt they would be watching her more than day care. They love her very much and the only time they would ever refuse to watch her would be because they are out of town or they are working (which is rare). I would never keep her from them either. The only reason for the 24 hour day care (and she more than likely won’t be there for the full allowed 12hrs) is to have a backup plan in case no other care means are found. I am just making preparations to ensure that if I do gain custody, I nor my child will be stuck out. I don’t want to risk the possibility of losing my job because I can’t find a babysitter.