Newborn Due in November

[JMGA]

Newnan, GA


If the child isn't born yet, can custody be disputed yet? If the 2 parents aren't married, can the father get custody of the newborn once it is born?

 

[momofrose]

Newnan, GA


If the child isn't born yet, can custody be disputed yet?

No

If the 2 parents aren't married, can the father get custody of the newborn once it is born?

YES



Good Luck

 

[enjay]

Newnan, GA


If the child isn't born yet, can custody be disputed yet? If the 2 parents aren't married, can the father get custody of the newborn once it is born?

It's a HUGE long shot. Shared legal custody is far more likely, with primary physical custody going to mom unless mom has some major problems that would affect the well being of the child. Dad making more money won't cut it.

 

[JMGA]

What circumstances would take a judge to grant the father custody over the mother; especially if the mother isn't the most unfit parent around?

At this point she has denied the me any and all communication in any way with her; didn't even share the photos from the ultra sound with me, and her mother has repeatedly told me I would not have any access to the child until I meet their religious standards. I personally find it a little bit whacky...especially since the mother is smoking during pregnancy; and most likely will resume smoking marijuana and "partying" once the baby is born (all behavior that was kept from me during our short relationship).

I just don't get it. I don't want to take the baby away from it's mother completely, but I feel something is not right when the mother acts like this, lives at home, has her parents paying for everything she has, no job, and makes ME out to be evil. If I have the baby, I want it to have have a healthy and regular relationship with its mother; if she has it, I may not get to see it at all; unless I am a devout Jehovah's Witness among other useless requirements. I have a very respectable career, a home, a car, no bad habits (I am 20 so I don't drink, I don't smoke/do drugs)...so am I wrong in thinking that initially, and until there is some maturity on the mother's part, she shouldn't be allowed to behave and live like this and deny me access to the baby?

How much worse is it that her parents are the ones basically "making the rules" and are most likely influencing her; not to mention economically supporting her 100%?

 

[stealth2]

You have zero rights until the child is born AND you prove paternity. The likelihood of gaining custody of a newborn under the circumstances you describe? Pretty close to zip. Consider this a valuable lesson in why it's important to actually get to know your sexual partners prior to procreating with them.

 

[Inquiry123]

What circumstances would take a judge to grant the father custody over the mother; especially if the mother isn't the most unfit parent around?

At this point she has denied the me any and all communication in any way with her; didn't even share the photos from the ultra sound with me, and her mother has repeatedly told me I would not have any access to the child until I meet their religious standards. I personally find it a little bit whacky...especially since the mother is smoking during pregnancy; and most likely will resume smoking marijuana and "partying" once the baby is born (all behavior that was kept from me during our short relationship).

I just don't get it. I don't want to take the baby away from it's mother completely, but I feel something is not right when the mother acts like this, lives at home, has her parents paying for everything she has, no job, and makes ME out to be evil. If I have the baby, I want it to have have a healthy and regular relationship with its mother; if she has it, I may not get to see it at all; unless I am a devout Jehovah's Witness among other useless requirements. I have a very respectable career, a home, a car, no bad habits (I am 20 so I don't drink, I don't smoke/do drugs)...so am I wrong in thinking that initially, and until there is some maturity on the mother's part, she shouldn't be allowed to behave and live like this and deny me access to the baby?

How much worse is it that her parents are the ones basically "making the rules" and are most likely influencing her; not to mention economically supporting her 100%?

Get an att'y and prepare to meet Mom (and G'ma ) in court after the child is born.

Although Mom is not required to provide you "any and all communication with her in anyway," your att'y should discuss appropriate measures for maintaining contact with Mom and handling medical/hospital/insurance expenses that are appropriate for you to assist with.

After the child is born and paternity is established, you can fight-it-out for custody/visitation and child support. It would be important for your att'y to illustrate the extent of MOM's determination, if any, to exclude an "evil" parent (that's you) from the child's life. Courts lean toward awarding custody to a parent who is more likely to foster a good relationship between the child and other parent.

You can count on being ordered visitation and support. I agree that physical custody is a long-shot given that this is a newborn, mom is not unfit, and she has some kind of support-system in place. You might luck-out if Mom/G'ma go all "whacky" in front of the judge, though. Good luck.

 

[JMGA]

They have no legal reason to deny me access to the child, so I'm sure if they try to explain their reasoning they'd sound pretty strange. Especially if it's the grandmother's wishes more than the daughters. Smoking during pregnancy doesn't sound a little bit....careless to you guys? The fact that she may or may not resume drug use after the birth (hell she may have never stopped) doesn't sound unfit? Trying to KEEP it from me because I am not one of "them" doesn't sound like a bit short of normal?

I don't ever want my child to say the words, "Gee dad, you're not in our religion, I really don't feel I should associate with you."

Despite how the mother spends her free time, I wouldn't find any reason to keep her from the baby. I just don't think it should be subject to that environment, much less it's primary caretaker being its grandparents.

To top that off, I'm the one relocating and starting a new business in their area to be nearby the child. I'm sure if the opportunity arose she'd skip town on a minutes notice and tell the kid it's father died in the Iraq war.

Should I be speaking to an attourney at this point so that the behavior towards me is documented all the way till the birth?

 

[MtDew35]

They have no legal reason to deny me access to the child, so I'm sure if they try to explain their reasoning they'd sound pretty strange. Especially if it's the grandmother's wishes more than the daughters. Smoking during pregnancy doesn't sound a little bit....careless to you guys? The fact that she may or may not resume drug use after the birth (hell she may have never stopped) doesn't sound unfit? Trying to KEEP it from me because I am not one of "them" doesn't sound like a bit short of normal?

I don't ever want my child to say the words, "Gee dad, you're not in our religion, I really don't feel I should associate with you."

Despite how the mother spends her free time, I wouldn't find any reason to keep her from the baby. I just don't think it should be subject to that environment, much less it's primary caretaker being its grandparents.

To top that off, I'm the one relocating and starting a new business in their area to be nearby the child. I'm sure if the opportunity arose she'd skip town on a minutes notice and tell the kid it's father died in the Iraq war.

Should I be speaking to an attourney at this point so that the behavior towards me is documented all the way till the birth?

First of all, as harsh as this may sound, she has every legal right to not communicate with you at this point. No judge is going to force her to allow you go to appointments with her, or show you an ultrasound picture.

Yes, smoking during pregnancy is careless, but it happens every day and there's really nothing you can do about it. I know that sounds terrible, but it's the truth.

I would, however, get in contact with an attorney now and fill him in on the situation and let him know you want to file for a paternity test right after the baby is born and go from there. If you are, indeed, the father, you will be granted visitation at the very least.

 

[JMGA]

I'm not demanding communication with her now; but her current behavior most likely won't deviate too much...see my point now?

 

[LdiJ]

I'm not demanding communication with her now; but her current behavior most likely won't deviate too much...see my point now?

Look...the reality of things is that she doesn't have to communicate with you at all....and she doesn't have to allow you to be part of the baby's life until a judge orders her to do so.....and that's not going to happen until after the baby is born and after you prove paternity.

 

[enjay]

I'm not demanding communication with her now; but her current behavior most likely won't deviate too much...see my point now?

Once you establish paternity AND there is court ordered visitation, you will have access to your child. She will have to communicate with you concerning the child and that is it. There is no reason whatsoever that she needs to communicate with you now. You have no legal standing at this point.

 

[weenor]

I'm not demanding communication with her now; but her current behavior most likely won't deviate too much...see my point now?

The pattern you are seeking to establish will take longer than a few months and you will need hard evidence. No court is going to get into the morality issues you have posted here. Only with proof that she is DANGEROUS will the court intervene to give you more than 50/50.

 

[JMGA]

I must not be coming off right here. I understand all that; and believe me, not talking to her is a blessing. What I'm saying is; even if the paternity tests and court orders are done, she will still fight so that I have NO relationship with the child from what I am understanding from her mother.

But regular drug use is ok as a parent of a newborn? This may be harder than already thought to be.

 

[LdiJ]

I must not be coming off right here. I understand all that; and believe me, not talking to her is a blessing. What I'm saying is; even if the paternity tests and court orders are done, she will still fight so that I have NO relationship with the child from what I am understanding from her mother.

But regular drug use is ok as a parent of a newborn? This may be harder than already thought to be.

That is why you have to take it to court after the child is born.....to establish enforceable rights.

IF mom has drug use after the child is born and IF that drug use effects the well being of the child and IF you have hard, cold, evidence to provide the court of the drug use, then MAYBE it would help your case.

Don't even try to bring up the issue of drug use however, if you do not have hard, cold evidence to provide to the judge.

 

[JMGA]

Ah, good advice.

Would they make her take a drug test?