Non Custodial Parent who has child full time

[Zigner]

What state is the controlling order out of?

Nebraska, per post 11

 

[stealth2]

Nebraska, per post 11

Thx - missed that. How long has the CP & child lived in AZ?

 

[zddoodah]

I have an opportunity to go back to Nebraska

Go back to Nebraska from where? What is the nature of this "opportunity"?

and have support of family.

Will the family members in question not support you unless you move to Nebraska?

If he tells me no, I cant go, do I have a probable case against him to be able to get full custody and move back home?

For starters, as a matter of fact, you already have "full custody." Regardless of the move, you could almost certainly get your existing divorce decree modified to reflect that reality. As far as your ex saying no, what does the divorce decree say about the custodial parent moving with the child? Beyond that, we need to know where you live now, where your ex lives now, and the state where the divorce decree was entered. From your follow up posts, it appears that your ex lives in Arizona. Correct?

 

[stealth2]

Go back to Nebraska from where? What is the nature of this "opportunity"?



Will the family members in question not support you unless you move to Nebraska?



For starters, as a matter of fact, you already have "full custody." Regardless of the move, you could almost certainly get your existing divorce decree modified to reflect that reality. As far as your ex saying no, what does the divorce decree say about the custodial parent moving with the child? Beyond that, we need to know where you live now, where your ex lives now, and the state where the divorce decree was entered. From your follow up posts, it appears that your ex lives in Arizona. Correct?

Yo, Zippie - read the thread.

 

[Ohiogal]

Go back to Nebraska from where? What is the nature of this "opportunity"?



Will the family members in question not support you unless you move to Nebraska?



For starters, as a matter of fact, you already have "full custody." Regardless of the move, you could almost certainly get your existing divorce decree modified to reflect that reality. As far as your ex saying no, what does the divorce decree say about the custodial parent moving with the child? Beyond that, we need to know where you live now, where your ex lives now, and the state where the divorce decree was entered. From your follow up posts, it appears that your ex lives in Arizona. Correct?

She doesn't have full custody. She has possession. That is different. And that doesn't mean regardless of the move. She needs to get the order domesticated where she is, then file for full/sole custody and to move back to Nebraska with the child.

 

[t74]

How often does he see her? How often before grandpa died? Do you have an explanation for the change? For example, did he inherit new time consuming responsibilities caring for a person grandpa previously care for?

It is sad that your shared daughter seems to have lost both her grandpa and her dad. I hope she is in counseling. You need to address both the emotional issues for DD as well as the legal issues for yourself since placing a significant distance between DD and dad will make it less likely that they will reconnect.

Can you and dad come to an agreement on a more appropriate visitation arrangement without a battle? DD is of high school age where extended summer visitation is not going to be something she will like with activities, friends and a future job.

A move is likely better for you but it is really better for her? What is certainly not good for her is a custody battle so please do your best to avoid one. After all, at 14, she will be able to make her own decisions in a relatively short time. You can certainly manage where you until she finishes high school if that is what is best for her.

You certainly should have CS and possession order adjusted to reflect the actual custody times. Consult both an attorney and a family counselor.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I have always been cordial. He is very well aware of what I want. I have also paid him back child support even though I have her and full time.

That's nice. But you can be cordial and still use the court to modify orders. If you are both in agreement about the current parenting arrangement, going to court to modify your order to reflect the status quo should be a paperwork issue, and not at all adversarial.

Moving away may be an issue if it will affect his parenting time. At the very least you should pay for travel costs related to visitation.

Is he just disinterested in his teen, or has he moved on with his new family?

 

[Carieanne724]

What state is the controlling order out of?

Nebraska has the decree

 

[Carieanne724]

How often does he see her? How often before grandpa died? Do you have an explanation for the change? For example, did he inherit new time consuming responsibilities caring for a person grandpa previously care for?

It is sad that your shared daughter seems to have lost both her grandpa and her dad. I hope she is in counseling. You need to address both the emotional issues for DD as well as the legal issues for yourself since placing a significant distance between DD and dad will make it less likely that they will reconnect.

Can you and dad come to an agreement on a more appropriate visitation arrangement without a battle? DD is of high school age where extended summer visitation is not going to be something she will like with activities, friends and a future job.

A move is likely better for you but it is really better for her? What is certainly not good for her is a custody battle so please do your best to avoid one. After all, at 14, she will be able to make her own decisions in a relatively short time. You can certainly manage where you until she finishes high school if that is what is best for her.

You certainly should have CS and possession order adjusted to reflect the actual custody times. Consult both an attorney and a family counselor.

He has not taken the time to call or see her in 7 months. I don't wanna do this in court. He did state to me that due to his congestive heart failure, he could not handle the stress of taking her on full or even part time. He has two CPS cases that were filed by her and her step brother about abuse

Thx - missed that. How long has the CP & child lived in AZ?

5 years

 

[Carieanne724]

That's nice. But you can be cordial and still use the court to modify orders. If you are both in agreement about the current parenting arrangement, going to court to modify your order to reflect the status quo should be a paperwork issue, and not at all adversarial.

Moving away may be an issue if it will affect his parenting time. At the very least you should pay for travel costs related to visitation.

Is he just disinterested in his teen, or has he moved on with his new family?

That's the sad part. I am trying to be cordial. He has a heart condition and he cant take her on full or even part time. I went to talk to him last night and come to an agreement. He left and made his wife talk to me. She is happy back in Nebraska. She has aunts and uncles and cousins. To move back home is for her and my benefit. The only reason he wants her to stay here is because he doesn't want to be abandoned. When I talked to his wife last night, she said she understands if I want to go back. I asked her then, so he would want her to live with him full time? She said he couldn't do that either.

 

[not2cleverRed]

He has not taken the time to call or see her in 7 months. I don't wanna do this in court. He did state to me that due to his congestive heart failure, he could not handle the stress of taking her on full or even part time. He has two CPS cases that were filed by her and her step brother about abuse

5 years

In order to be LEGAL, it has to be done in court.

It does not have to be adversarial. The court portion could simply being the judge signing off on you and Dad agreeing to modify the parenting plan to the status quo.

The move is a seperate issue, especially if you think that Dad will oppose the move.

How about you and Dad get together (virtually is fine), work out an agreement for a parenting plan, get it written up properly, and submit it to the court for approval?

And yes, get your daughter into therapy.

 

[Zigner]

That's the sad part. I am trying to be cordial. He has a heart condition and he cant take her on full or even part time. I went to talk to him last night and come to an agreement. He left and made his wife talk to me. She is happy back in Nebraska. She has aunts and uncles and cousins. To move back home is for her and my benefit. The only reason he wants her to stay here is because he doesn't want to be abandoned. When I talked to his wife last night, she said she understands if I want to go back. I asked her then, so he would want her to live with him full time? She said he couldn't do that either.

You need to do this in court. You need to NOT include his wife.

 

[Carieanne724]

In order to be LEGAL, it has to be done in court.

It does not have to be adversarial. The court portion could simply being the judge signing off on you and Dad agreeing to modify the parenting plan to the status quo.

The move is a seperate issue, especially if you think that Dad will oppose the move.

How about you and Dad get together (virtually is fine), work out an agreement for a parenting plan, get it written up properly, and submit it to the court for approval?

And yes, get your daughter into therapy.

I would love to be able to do that. He refuses to talk to me. I went last night to talk to him and he left and put his wife in charge.
She is already in therapy.

 

[not2cleverRed]

That's the sad part. I am trying to be cordial. He has a heart condition and he cant take her on full or even part time. I went to talk to him last night and come to an agreement. He left and made his wife talk to me. She is happy back in Nebraska. She has aunts and uncles and cousins. To move back home is for her and my benefit. The only reason he wants her to stay here is because he doesn't want to be abandoned. When I talked to his wife last night, she said she understands if I want to go back. I asked her then, so he would want her to live with him full time? She said he couldn't do that either.

Then ask for them to clarify what sort of parenting time would make him happy.

Frankly, if you're near him now, and he hasn't seen/talked to her in months, that kind of undermines any claim that he has that a move would affect his parenting time.

Please get an initial consult with a lawyer. Actually, at least 2 or 3.

 

[Zigner]

I would love to be able to do that. He refuses to talk to me. I went last night to talk to him and he left and put his wife in charge.
She is already in therapy.

Then you need to go through the courts.