not my kids

[speedcam]

What is the name of your state? wisconsin

i recently got married to a gal with three kids,daughter 10, twin boys age 8, since then we've had nothing but problems from their father. in and out of court things. the state took him to court for child support since it was left open at divorce, he quit his job and says he can't work,( before he was served he was working to jobs) now we were told if "we" push the issue that we may have to pay him support. this was told to us by the stat's attorney today. he already owes us for 2 years of medical and insurance ( his half court ordered) my question is since i am not their father, and their mother doesn't work am i required to pay him if we are told to pay him. or can i refuse?

 

[stealth2]

Did Mom used to work? Why doesn't she work now? You're not responsible for paying support, but depending on the circumstances, she may be.

 

[speedcam]

yes mom did used to work, but after we got married and talked long and hard about it, admittedly i do still have contraversial feelings about it, that she could stay at home while i worked because we were paying more than she made per week to have the kids at a daycare. so we figured if she stayed home that saved us money that we didn't have to begin with since he refused to pay anything and refused to get insurance until about a month ago.( but he won't use it because "the insurance dosen't pay very much of the bill". ) so mean while my company that i work for pays $21,000.00 a year for coverage that he uses even though he has his own.

 

[stealth2]

Well, depending on what her income used to be in comparison with his income, and assuming your state uses a shared income model, and depending on whether time with the kids is accounted for, etc. - it's entirely possible that she has to pay him support.

 

[VeronicaGia]

So it's ok for her to not financially support the kids but not him? Both parents are legally obligated to provide financial support for those kids.

 

[speedcam]

So it's ok for her to not financially support the kids but not him? Both parents are legally obligated to provide financial support for those kids.

reply:
i understand that both are responsible to support the kids. thats my point. he hasn't done crap for them and i bust my butt working on average 96 hours a week for lost ( again -- court ordered monies) from him. now the next thing is her and i NEVER iniciated this in court, the state did. as far as i'm comcerned the state can pay him since they just stuck it to us. i mean this piece of crap is already getting paid by me ,her, and everyone else that pays taxes. how? by welfare and food stamps!
one other question for you ( that i can think of):

if i have a "legal" document from his attorney signed by him, his attorney, our attorney and my wife, that states " i assure you that from this time on the owed monies and future monies will be paid on time"----- exactly what kind of credability does that attorney have? i mean it never says anything about assuring us the HIS CLIENT will pay on time. (that quote was taken right off the paperwork)

thanks for all

speed

 

[hjallge]

I am confused- Who has custody of the children?

 

[VeronicaGia]

reply:
i understand that both are responsible to support the kids. thats my point. he hasn't done crap for them and i bust my butt working on average 96 hours a week for lost ( again -- court ordered monies) from him.

**Speedcam, you are busting your butt, not her. She is the one responsible. If you want to take on the responsibility while letting her slide, you really cannot complain about it or him. The fact is neither bio parent is financially supporting those kids! THAT is why YOU are so upset! YOU are the only one supporting kids that aren't even yours! But you keep blaming him and refuse to see where your wife is just as much to blame.

now the next thing is her and i NEVER iniciated this in court, the state did. as far as i'm comcerned the state can pay him since they just stuck it to us. i mean this piece of crap is already getting paid by me ,her, and everyone else that pays taxes. how? by welfare and food stamps!
one other question for you ( that i can think of):

if i have a "legal" document from his attorney signed by him, his attorney, our attorney and my wife, that states " i assure you that from this time on the owed monies and future monies will be paid on time"----- exactly what kind of credability does that attorney have? i mean it never says anything about assuring us the HIS CLIENT will pay on time. (that quote was taken right off the paperwork)

thanks for all

speed

**Look, your wife can take him to court. But the fact is that the court will also ask your wife what financial contributions she is making to support those kids. She's not making any. So tell her to take him for contempt but expect that the judge won't be too happy with her either.

**You're driving yourself nuts with this stuff. Why are you allowing yourself to be put in this situation?

 

[speedcam]

well i do see where your coming from VeronicaGia, and you are correct i am upset. but it is also because it is MY insurance he is using. but in all fairness she does work some what. she is doing home daycare out of the house part time since she blew her knee out at work. now for example it doesn't make alot of sense to pay $400.00 per week for daycare when you only make $330.00 does it? and thats why she and i decided to go this route with her at home. this is pretty much the situation we were in. he on the other hand was told not to come to the daycare by the manager of it and a few "higher ups" because he was harrassing the counlers( we have letters from them).

now the other reason i am upset is because i have raised these three kids as much as i could as my own for the past 6 years when he was no where around., he never seen them or called them. then all of a sudden he wants them with him. to a point i was ok because they are his kids, no problem with that. but then when you start to hit the kids and they come home with bloody lips and bruises all over them because they called me dad accidently while they were there ........ well you hopefully can see my point. and yes this was investigated..... but we got it stuck to us again because the kids are so scared of being hit that they didn't say alot even after i showed the police and investigator the pictures. so i hope you see why i'm alittle upset.

and as for custody..... we agreed to 50/50 last year as long as he met stipulations provided by the mediator.... guess what. none have been met.

speed

 

[speedcam]

sorry but i just thought of this..

can you tell me or explain to me way since the state started this motion , why we have to stop it.? shouldn't the state be able to stop their own motions?

 

[Cookie97128]

...

and as for custody..... we agreed to 50/50 last year as long as he met stipulations provided by the mediator.... guess what. none have been met.

speed

Why not ask for a modification of custody, based on him NOT meeting his own set obligations?

Are you saying that the CSE (state) ordered your wife to pay the EX support for the kids that she has had for the last 6 years? Just because of a 50/50 split? Does he actually have the kids 50% of the time?
As for fat, bloody lips... As soon as the kids show up with these bruises and marks, CALL THE POLICE. THEN IMMEDIANTLY go to the court house and get an EMERGENCY CUSTODY ORDER AND A TRO. It could help in gaining full custody of the kids and then the judge can (hopefully) order this butt nugget to pay support, (whether you get it or not is a different story!).

First, PROTECT the kids.

 

[speedcam]

Why not ask for a modification of custody, based on him NOT meeting his own set obligations?

Are you saying that the CSE (state) ordered your wife to pay the EX support for the kids that she has had for the last 6 years? Just because of a 50/50 split? Does he actually have the kids 50% of the time?
As for fat, bloody lips... As soon as the kids show up with these bruises and marks, CALL THE POLICE. THEN IMMEDIANTLY go to the court house and get an EMERGENCY CUSTODY ORDER AND A TRO. It could help in gaining full custody of the kids and then the judge can (hopefully) order this butt nugget to pay support, (whether you get it or not is a different story!).

First, PROTECT the kids.

REPLY:

they have not ordered her/us to pay anything yet, the state was taking him to court for support, we didn't know anything about it until we got a letter in the mail. as far of if he actually has them 50% . well i know they are at his parents alot. he was supposed to have them at 7:30am testerday but when we called because of one of the boys being sick we couldn't get a hold of him. and he didn't pick him up until alittle after 3:00. the paperwork states 7:30 in the morning his day starts. and vise versa on our days.
about the fat lips and stuff the first thing we did was call our attorney, under advice we then took pictures, we did not call the police or CSW, the kids' "shrink"( sorry couldn't remember how to spell it) called them when she saw the marks. after about 4 hours of interviews with the kids. the report came back as "unfounded" i think this is partially becaue they talked to the sister, she is his "little princess" and does no wrong. so she stands up for him all the time.

now the real thing that gets me is that back in December he was ordered to pay us support, and after no payments of that either, we now may have to pay him if we go back to court over support or and med. bills or insurance he owes us. how much? well let say the copies of the receipts go back to Sept. of 2001.

thanks again, sorry so long!

speed

 

[tammy8]

I am totally not understanding your situation.

$21K a yr for insurance--meaning you pay over $400 a week for insurance?

Ex is using YOUR insurance????

The kids are in school so your wife can't work?

Who has custody on paper?

 

[speedcam]

I am totally not understanding your situation.

$21K a yr for insurance--meaning you pay over $400 a week for insurance?

REPLY: my employer pays $21,000 per year for me covering his children ( my step kids) on the insurance, this has been figured into my wage.example: if i get 20,000 per year / with this i know get 41,000 per yr.)

Ex is using YOUR insurance????

yes he is using my insurance on the kids because the states insurance he has doesn't pay enough ( according to him)

The kids are in school so your wife can't work?

no my wife blew her knee out at work, plus the fact that what it cost to send the kids to daycare for the week cost more than what she was making per week when she was working.

Who has custody on paper?

on paper it is now 50/50 placement

i hope this cleared it up a little.
thanks again

speed

 

[Cookie97128]

Forget the attorney.
Call the police next time.

Reread my previous post. YOU need to take these steps. I, nor anybody else can do this for you.