not my kids

[tammy8]

You are not going to like what I am about to say adn probably nobody else is....but if an attorney told you to hold off, my best advice to try and work with the ex and make things easier on you and the kids. Otherwise you are going to drive yourself crazy and in the poor house in attorney fees and be stuck in the legal system for I would image the minimum of 2-3 yrs. As far as the insurance, if you think the state cares and yours actually does, I still don't see them wasting their time on one case. Never did for my husband's exwife adn she was committing out and out welfare and medicad and food stamp fraud.

Sorry but again, try to get along for your kids sake and learn to pick your battles wisely....

Good luck!

 

[speedcam]

tammy i respect your comments. but on the other hand when the kids come home and tell you IN DETAIL how their mother and i are going to be killed, it tends to make you alittle upset. yes i understand to try and get along for the kids sake... but look at it this way. i'm paying for him to be alive by my taxes for him to be on welfare( to pay for his apartment) and food stamps. i'm not going to let some jerk treat the kids the way he has and i'm not going to sit back while he lives off the taxes of everyone else that has the cahonies to work for what they have. this is one type of guy that thinks he can live off the system and no one will challenge him about it. a guy the sexually abused his own underage cousin and got off scott free from the court system and now we're just supposed to sit back while he sleep with his 10 yr. old daughter and showers with his 8 yr. old sons. respectfully i disagree with your comment about "getting along "

sorry
speed

 

[stealth2]

Where the freakin hell is Mom in all of this? All I see is a pissing contest between Dad and stepDad. Maybe Mom needs to get her ass in gear and start dealing. This is the guy she chose to father her kids - time for her to quit hiding behind stepDad and actually do something herself. Christ on crutches.

 

[prettyredhead]

You are doing the right thing by supporting her kids. You are a good man. The world needs more men like you.
I have a question for Hexlibe////////
Why do you say there is nothing they can do. Come on, NOTHING? Is it not against the law to fail to support your kids. ? Why is it a luxury. > You can take legal avenues to make them pay. Besides, you seem to get glee out of hearing a new case of a loser Dad (or rarely Mom) getting away with it. Are you a sadist? Do you dislike kids? Are you infertile and bitter about it. You sound like a total bitch. Maybe cuz.........hmmmmm you are one?

 

[stealth2]

You are doing the right thing by supporting her kids. You are a good man. The world needs more men like you.
I have a question for Hexlibe////////
Why do you say there is nothing they can do. Come on, NOTHING? Is it not against the law to fail to support your kids. ? Why is it a luxury. > You can take legal avenues to make them pay. Besides, you seem to get glee out of hearing a new case of a loser Dad (or rarely Mom) getting away with it. Are you a sadist? Do you dislike kids? Are you infertile and bitter about it. You sound like a total bitch. Maybe cuz.........hmmmmm you are one?

And you seem to have a huge chip on your shoulder. Instead of bitching people out, how about trying to help someone? At least hex knows what he's talking about and gives solid advice, even when it's not couched in the touchy-feely words people want to hear.

 

[speedcam]

Where the freakin hell is Mom in all of this? All I see is a pissing contest between Dad and stepDad. Maybe Mom needs to get her ass in gear and start dealing. This is the guy she chose to father her kids - time for her to quit hiding behind stepDad and actually do something herself. Christ on crutches.

REPLY: stealth... i will put this as nicely as i can. mom is at home trying to spend more time with her kids and calling and dealing with the states attorney's and other attorney while i am here at work. understandably she does need to quit hiding but at the same time reverse your rolls so you are now the woman... would you hide in some what of fear from your ex- husband that started the bed on fire while you were sleeping in it? and since you have no "proof" other than the melted skin on your hips, legs and sides, nothing can be done. i think most would be alittle scared after being told you have no proof so you can do anything.

 

[stealth2]

REPLY: stealth... i will put this as nicely as i can. mom is at home trying to spend more time with her kids and calling and dealing with the states attorney's and other attorney while i am here at work. understandably she does need to quit hiding but at the same time reverse your rolls so you are now the woman... would you hide in some what of fear from your ex- husband that started the bed on fire while you were sleeping in it? and since you have no "proof" other than the melted skin on your hips, legs and sides, nothing can be done. i think most would be alittle scared after being told you have no proof so you can do anything.

sweetheart - I AM the woman. And I don't hide behind anyone when it comes to protecting my kids. What - Dad set the bed on fire without ever before showing he was violent? 'Cause most of the time guys like that show their colors well before.

 

[tammy8]

PRH and others,


Most of us are survivors of a the court system and know how long and hard it is to change custody. The last battle physically and emotionally and financially drained me and my husband and his children (3 yrs after the final order, I will be sending in DH's last $25 bill--over $10K in attorney fees for a simple thing).

Now looking back so much does not seem important. Plus kids burn the candle on both ends and tell you what YOU want to hear! Learn that one soon to save a lot of grief.

As far as the father living off welfare, so what?????? How many welfare biomothers are there out here and no one seems to worry so much about them. How many deadbeat biomothers DO NOT PAY THEIR CHILD SUPPORT (seems like something way up above say something about this bm worrying about having to pay child support ). Yes it totally sux that my tax dollars go to keep up these ppl and the main reason I don't have kids and never will is because I KNEW I couldnt' afford and refused to live off welfare but that are the facts of life.

I would love to hear from this family in 6 or 7 yrs and see what happens? Where the kids are and if any of that money spent toward a custody battle did any good.

 

[speedcam]

sweetheart - I AM the woman. And I don't hide behind anyone when it comes to protecting my kids. What - Dad set the bed on fire without ever before showing he was violent? 'Cause most of the time guys like that show their colors well before.

D'OH!..... SORRY STEALTH.( i knew i should ceck things before i speak) now to answer your question. i knew this guy before and always thought he was a loser and simply put a piece of crap. but there is no reason the kids or her should have to be treated any of the ways they are or for any other woman and kids for the matter.( granted some guys get dealt the bad hand to). he did not show any characteristics like this until she was already 8 months with theor second and third children. and even at that time it was only( yes it stupid) doing donuts in a truck with her in it at that time. as for the fire deal. he cdid this after he talked her cousin into taking her out one night. she admittedly got alittle ****faced, and after this she filed.

tammy as for your post.... i never said i was wooried about the child support, and if i did that wasn't meant that way. i honestly couldn't care less about that i make enough to support MY family with out it. we did not file the motion for it the state did. we told the state to end it. as for the money it cost. i know and have been advised of the possilbe dollar amounts this could accumulate to, i'm not worried about the money my main concern is the saftey of my wife the kids and then when all else is taken care of myself. question for you though...... you stated you will never have kids because of now wanting to be on welfare and such.. but then you had already went through the custody deal with your hubbies kids..... does that mean you don't think you need to treat them like your own the best as possible? maybe i am different and was brought up "old school" but i knowingly entered into this relationship with her AND her kids. to care for all of them as MY family.

i didn't post this to start an arguement , i simply posted it because a few had asked me to keep them up on what happened after my meet with the new lawyer. so this is what i did. there is nothing here to undermind anyone or cause any insult to anyone. i merely said my feelings towards ( about) someone that is 30 yrs old and refuses to work or have to be responsible for any bills or insurance but suddenly wants all rights to his kids, even after not seeing , talking , calling or asking about his kids for nearly 6 months.
maybe i'm more pissed at the county offices for not doing crap about the reported abuse to the kids or any of the other stuff, so maybe i want him to pay for his actions. big deal. wouldn't you want a person to pay for their actions if they beat the crap out of you or your kids? or maybe we should release all the muderers because it's mean and inhuman to actually think they should be held accountable for what they did.

just my honest and open thoughts.

 

[tammy8]

Looking back to the custody battle, we were in too deep to back out. I LOVE my steps with ALL my heart and my husband and I had shared custody until last yr when 2 of the younger ones wanted to move away to be with bm. Now my husband has full custody of his oldest and will (I know the patterns from experience) have full custody of his 2 younger ones (bm is super mom now with new husband who is rich!) within a couple of years (time it would take to get it into court and finalized) so hubby decided to let the pieces fall into place themselves.

All I was saying is go into this knowing how emotionally and finanically hard this is going to be on you, your wife, your stepkids and mostly your marriage. My marriage suffered the most and almost emotionally killed my husband. I was just warning you that usually the pieces fall into place themselves.

Good luck.

 

[speedcam]

tammy........ yes its true and i will agree with you, it is stressful and completely exhausting. i agree 1000% with you, yet at the same time its hard to distinct which is harder on everything. dealing with the attorney's and court issues or dealing with all the other stuff from him ( threats to us, to kids, and abuse issues). and those are just some of the things. he's also got harrassment charges from walking in my home( along with tresspassing) sexual harrassment on MY wife, and things to this nature also.

so yes i may seem alittle prejudice towards him but then again i think i have reasons enough.
sorry if came across like i was bi*ching you out i was not trying to sound that way.

speed

 

[bubbly602]

medicaid

Just somthing you might like to know. Medicaid recently changed its policy so that you can be on medicaid as long as you have at least partial custody of your children (even if you're over 21 and not disabled). So he could very well be on medicaid, and it's immaterial whether he is or not because due to his income, the kids are eligible. I know. My ex is required to provide insurance for our daughter. I got on medicaid to supplement and cover the cost of copays and prescriptions. Her doctor didn't accept medicaid, so I needed to change her doctor. He wouldn't provide me with her insurance cards, so I called medicaid and they said to just go ahead and take her to whatever doctor I wanted, medicaid would cover it. It sounds to me like he's feeding you a bunch of bull about the insurance. I'd really think about making an appointment with someone in the medicaid office to find out about the policies if I was you. Good luck