Silverplum
Senior Member
is pleasant the word of the day? I missed the memo
Sorry, darling!
OFFICIAL FA MEMO:
The word of the day is: Pleasant!
Do I get style points for using "Pleasant" instead of "VILE"???
is pleasant the word of the day? I missed the memo
Ok, mom handled that properly.I apologize for everyone being frustrated. There is more to the situation that i haven't shared which led to me looking like an idiot.
I am posting here as the father is at work and uable to use the internet. Internet is not a priority for us in our home so i am posting after work.
The mother had lived with a boyfriend prior and had been investigated on instances of child neglect and abuse (mostly the boyfriend). She then moved out (the only reason she still has the children according to child services). She was mandated to have no contact with him (she does on the weekends - but no kids then).
Can dad prove that this man is still involved with drugs? With hard evidence? Can dad prove that it impacts the children?She is now with someone else, living with him. Her current address according to the child services office is with her mother. She is keeping it there so the court won't know she is living with another man. He has no problem with her living with someone else (Dad is doing it) but this man is not good. He has had drug possession charges against him.
Again, the idea fails because the children cannot be enrolled in a school district half way between the two of them.He believes she wants to do well, but just isn't surrounded by the right people. Dad's thought was if the kids went to school halfway between him and her, she would spend more time with semi-upstanding people. He knows he can't choose her friends.
How often has she changed residences in the last two years?..and what proof does dad have of this?He is worried about her wellbeing as well as the kids. She house-hops with the children 'when things arenn't going her way'. She calls us at midnight to come and pick them up because she is leaving.
But according to the law, none of this is neglect. And unfortunately there is no wrong in consistently making poor choices.
Ok, mom clearly isn't mother of the year, but I still don't see a clear change of circumstance....and again, your marriage would NOT be a change of circumstance.She has been pulled over by police for kids not buckled up, she has forgotten oldest one at school - he walked home and was locked out - for 4 hours.
I was just email for him to find out when the appropriate time would be for HIM for file a COC.
why can't dad move to the town where the kids live...then school isn't an issue and mom may be inclined to agree to 50/50
the bus route thing won't help....my dd catches the bus in the mornings at my house and gets off at day care....some of the kids catch the bus to school from day care and then ride to granny's....
bus route is not indicative of residence
I concur.I would also like to say that I know for a fact (from personal experience) that if Dad was determined to make 50/50 work, the 45 minute drive to the kids' school wouldn't stop him.
Good Boy.I concur.
Well...I can think of scenarios where it might not work, no matter how determined a parent was. It depends on when school starts, and when the parent has to be at work as well.No kidding! If residence was determined by bus route, mine would change about every other week.
I would also like to say that I know for a fact (from personal experience) that if Dad was determined to make 50/50 work, the 45 minute drive to the kids' school wouldn't stop him.
Nope, it wasn't. My work was 25 miles straight south of where I lived. The kids' school was 35 miles straight WEST. For TWO YEARS, I drove them 45 minutes or so to school and then another 45 minutes or so (if there was no traffic) to work.Well...I can think of scenarios where it might not work, no matter how determined a parent was. It depends on when school starts, and when the parent has to be at work as well.
In your case your work was in the same general direction as the children's school.
able is one story....willing should never be question. i drove the same horrible commute as you did. i'm a very lazy person. i procrastinate. self admitted. for my kids.....i'd walk those miles if that was my last option.Nope, it wasn't. My work was 25 miles straight south of where I lived. The kids' school was 35 miles straight WEST. For TWO YEARS, I drove them 45 minutes or so to school and then another 45 minutes or so (if there was no traffic) to work.
When I moved back to the area, I drove them 15 miles NORTH to school so I could turn around and drive back PAST my house and another 20 miles to work. Until I moved HERE in May, getting the kids to school has always been an exercise in juggling and commuting like crazy.
But yes, I recognize that for some people that's more than they're able or willing to do.
I was actually thinking about timing rather than willingness...I could see situations where the children would have to be dropped off to before school care so early that it might not be possible to find someone willing to take them that early, and the kids would have to be getting up at 4AM.Nope, it wasn't. My work was 25 miles straight south of where I lived. The kids' school was 35 miles straight WEST. For TWO YEARS, I drove them 45 minutes or so to school and then another 45 minutes or so (if there was no traffic) to work.
When I moved back to the area, I drove them 15 miles NORTH to school so I could turn around and drive back PAST my house and another 20 miles to work. Until I moved HERE in May, getting the kids to school has always been an exercise in juggling and commuting like crazy.
But yes, I recognize that for some people that's more than they're able or willing to do.
Well, I DID have a flexible schedule that allowed me to come in early on the days I DIDN'T have the girls in exchange for coming in late on the days I DID. And gas prices really started to kick my azz.able is one story....willing should never be question. i drove the same horrible commute as you did. i'm a very lazy person. i procrastinate. self admitted. for my kids.....i'd walk those miles if that was my last option.
I get what you're saying.Anyway, the only point I was making is that I can see some cases where it simply would not be possible....no matter how much "willingness" someone had.