Not sure

[stealth2]

Adultery can be very difficult to prove. Then the question also becomes - how did YOU contribute to the marriage deteriorating to the point it has? It can get very messy - and very expensive - very quickly. Something to consider.

 

[heypaizan]

It sounds like no fault is the more viable option. Thanks! Just waiting for someone to weigh in on the house part of this and I am sure i will have a few more questions.

 

[Ohiogal]

It sounds like no fault is the more viable option. Thanks! Just waiting for someone to weigh in on the house part of this and I am sure i will have a few more questions.

Though if she does have a lover, you can sue the lover for alienation of affection. Check with an attorney regarding that.

 

[heypaizan]

I dont have any proof that she has an online lover and suspect it may be hard to prove. During an argument today she threw a comb across the room at me. Does that change anything? My son and I left for a few hours but are back now. I dont have any concerns that she would ever hurt him but was caught off guard by that today. I really need to find my options. She is not going to change and life is too short.

 

[not2cleverRed]

File a police report.

I am NOT saying file charges. I am saying that you should document behavior that was severe enough for you to take your child and yourself out of her presence for several hours. If nothing of this sort ever happens again, then okay.

But if things escalate, it's good to have a paper trail.

 

[heypaizan]

Understand. Will do. The one question I truly will need to answer at this point is if I leave, do I put myself at a disadvantage for anything? I ultimately would like to keep my house but feel I will need to be the one to leave first to send the message with her. She keeps telling me if I'm so unhappy just leave. I dont want to do that of it puts me in a situation of being considered the one that abandoned. I don't want to do that if it means it may put me at a disadvantage for custody or losing my house. What do I need to do in this regard?

 

[Ohiogal]

Understand. Will do. The one question I truly will need to answer at this point is if I leave, do I put myself at a disadvantage for anything? I ultimately would like to keep my house but feel I will need to be the one to leave first to send the message with her. She keeps telling me if I'm so unhappy just leave. I dont want to do that of it puts me in a situation of being considered the one that abandoned. I don't want to do that if it means it may put me at a disadvantage for custody or losing my house. What do I need to do in this regard?

Why do you have to leave? JUST FILE FOR DIVORCE. Stay in the home and ask the court to award you sole possession of the home, custody of the child, and child support while the divorce is pending.

 

[LdiJ]

Why do you have to leave? JUST FILE FOR DIVORCE. Stay in the home and ask the court to award you sole possession of the home, custody of the child, and child support while the divorce is pending.

NC requires a year of actual separation before you can get a divorce.

 

[heypaizan]

Yes. The seperation is exactly my predicament.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes. The seperation is exactly my predicament.

Could you file for a "divorce from bed and board" which is what I think I remember a legal separation being called in NC? If I remember correctly property settlements, child custody etc can be decided through that as well. At least consult a local attorney about that.

 

[Ohiogal]

NC requires a year of actual separation before you can get a divorce.

But he can file for divorce and request TEMPORARY ORDERS during that period.

 

[LdiJ]

But he can file for divorce and request TEMPORARY ORDERS during that period.

Unless my memory is wrong you cannot even file for divorce unless you have been separated for a full year first. However he may have the option of doing the "divorce from bed and board" if he gets a consult with a local attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

Unless my memory is wrong you cannot even file for divorce unless you have been separated for a full year first. However he may have the option of doing the "divorce from bed and board" if he gets a consult with a local attorney.

You are correct. According to statute they cannot apply to have the marriage dissolved until they have lived separate and apart for one year.

§ 50-6. Divorce after separation of one year on application of either party


Marriages may be dissolved and the parties thereto divorced from the bonds of matrimony on the application of either party, if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year, and the plaintiff or defendant in the suit for divorce has resided in the State for a period of six months. A divorce under this section shall not be barred to either party by any defense or plea based upon any provision of G.S. 50-7, a plea of res judicata, or a plea of recrimination. Notwithstanding the provisions of G.S. 50-11, or of the common law, a divorce under this section shall not affect the rights of a dependent spouse with respect to alimony which have been asserted in the action or any other pending action.

Whether there has been a resumption of marital relations during the period of separation shall be determined pursuant to G.S. 52-10.2. Isolated incidents of sexual intercourse between the parties shall not toll the statutory period required for divorce predicated on separation of one year.

History. 1931, c. 72; 1933, c. 163; 1937, c. 100, ss. 1, 2; 1943, c. 448, s. 3; 1949, c. 264, s. 3; 1965, c. 636, s. 2; 1977, c. 817, s. 1; 1977, 2nd Sess., c. 1190, s. 1; 1979, c. 709, s. 1; 1981, c. 182; 1983, c. 613, s. 2; c. 923, s. 217; 1987, c. 664, s. 2.

He does qualify for your suggestion:

§ 50-7. Grounds for divorce from bed and board


The court may grant divorces from bed and board on application of the party injured, made as by law provided, in the following cases if either party:

(1) Abandons his or her family.

(2) Maliciously turns the other out of doors.

(3) By cruel or barbarous treatment endangers the life of the other. In addition, the court may grant the victim of such treatment the remedies available under G.S. 50B-1, et seq.

(4) Offers such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome.

(5) Becomes an excessive user of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and the life of that spouse burdensome.

(6) Commits adultery.

 

[heypaizan]

I don't know that i qualify for any of the requirements for divorce from bed and board.

Ideally I would like to be able to move out for the year period and at the point of the actual divorce regain possession of the house.

I have a few reasons for that.
She has threatened to leave with my son if I kick her out. By my letting her stay in the house pretty much ensures she doesn't leave and poses the least disruption to my sons life. Can i do this?

 

[Proserpina]

I don't know that i qualify for any of the requirements for divorce from bed and board.

Ideally I would like to be able to move out for the year period and at the point of the actual divorce regain possession of the house.

I have a few reasons for that.
She has threatened to leave with my son if I kick her out. By my letting her stay in the house pretty much ensures she doesn't leave and poses the least disruption to my sons life. Can i do this?

Please clarify - you're intending to let her AND your son stay, while you move out temporarily?