O/T This is what happens when parents lie

[liandrajade]

Adoptive mom is appealing the ruling but as of now, Vanessa is ordered back to Ohio on July 16.

id so take a contempt charge and NOT put my daughter on that plane....shakes head...unfreaking believable.....

there's several version of the story, is the custody case still pending and the child will be with paternal grandmother OR was the dad awarded custody? it's the 1st correct?

and if california retains jurisdication why the he** is the case going to OH?

this is a clear example of how the best interest standard should come into play and has not...im almost in tears now for this little girl since my own is the same age, my heart is breaking for this woman....

 

[stealth2]

my heart is breaking for this woman....

Color me cold, but mine is not. She should have used a lawyer, and she should have made sure that the adoption was finalized. The only one to feel badly for should be the child, who apparently has numerous idiots in her life who think they're adults.

 

[liandrajade]

Color me cold, but mine is not. She should have used a lawyer, and she should have made sure that the adoption was finalized. The only one to feel badly for should be the child, who apparently has numerous idiots in her life who think they're adults.

unfortunately you are right from a legal standpoint i have to agree with you on that

 

[futuredust]

According to the adoptive mom's own website..

I’ve been fighting to keep Vanessa ever since I’ve brought her home. I’ve depleted my savings and endured a lifetime’s worth of stress and suffering

There is even a link to an article dated Nov 2009- where she says the adoption is not final.

Yes, I feel sorry for the child. However, this woman knew the child had a dad who wanted her and was going to fight this. She could have made it easier on the child- she made the choice to fight for a child that was not hers.

While dad had a DV conviction in 2005, it still does not mean he has no rights to his own child.

 

[justalayman]

Can you computer nerds please tinyurl it for me?

you don't copy the entire line. Start copying after the

url=http://

do not include the forward slashes and stop copying with the numbers followed by the bracket

county&id=7533313]

. Do not include the bracket. You will copy exactly what I have immediately below:

abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/orange_county&id=7533313


then take that copy here:

tinyurl.com

and paste it into the blank line under this:

Enter a long URL to make tiny:

in the blue/purple box in the middle of the page.

 

[Ohiogal]

Color me cold, but mine is not. She should have used a lawyer, and she should have made sure that the adoption was finalized. The only one to feel badly for should be the child, who apparently has numerous idiots in her life who think they're adults.

I'm with you. Though here is the thing -- dad hasn't spoken. You are getting biased information from adoptive mom who is ticked off and hurt. You cannot trust that she has all the facts about Mr. Mills.

Best interest? Sorry but constitutional right to parent matters. He has other children and doesn't have them full time and that makes him unworthy? I disagree. If it does then NO ONE ON HERE that is divorced and whose child shares time with the other parent away from them is worthy.

No one here knows the whole story and NO ONE here should be saying this father has no right to parent based on this news story.

 

[futuredust]

I'm with you. Though here is the thing -- dad hasn't spoken. You are getting biased information from adoptive mom who is ticked off and hurt. You cannot trust that she has all the facts about Mr. Mills.

Best interest? Sorry but constitutional right to parent matters. He has other children and doesn't have them full time and that makes him unworthy? I disagree. If it does then NO ONE ON HERE that is divorced and whose child shares time with the other parent away from them is worthy.

No one here knows the whole story and NO ONE here should be saying this father has no right to parent based on this news story.

I agree. And it appears adoptive mom has known about dad for some time. The child was not hers, she made the choice to try to keep the child. Obviously there has been paternity established and since she has said herself she has been fighting to keep her since bringing her home, she is most responsible for the suffering this child is going to now endure by being placed in foster care.

The case goes back to Ohio because that is where the child was born, that is where the child's father lives.

Just because she may have more money or time does not over ride the fathers protected rights to his own child.

I am sorry I don't share the opinion of other posters who feel that this woman should be able to keep the child. In fact, I have my own negative thoughts about how she handled the situation and played a part in the emotional suffering the child will now go through.

OG is spot on, we don't know the entire story, just the one that adoptomom has put out to the media. She has asked for donations to help her keep a child that she knew had a biological parent who wanted her. Dad used legal aid and as far as I can tell has not set out on a media campaign to seek support both emotional and monetary, like adoptomom has done.

 

[Banned_Princess]

you don't copy the entire line. Start copying after the do not include the forward slashes and stop copying with the numbers followed by the bracket . Do not include the bracket. You will copy exactly what I have immediately below:

abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/orange_county&id=7533313


then take that copy here:

tinyurl.com

and paste it into the blank line under this:



in the blue/purple box in the middle of the page.

And now I know . thank you justa justa justa laymannnnn.

 

[wileybunch]

Makes you wonder if the prospective adoptive Mom did know more about the BM's and BD's history and she wanted to do a more under-the-radar adoption along with the BM's untruthful documentation that she didn't know who the BD was.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with everything that has been said, but since the child is only two, how would it have even been possible for the adoptive mother to explain to the child that she was adopted and had other birth parents out there?

I also think its just plain cruel to put the child in foster care. She will have to temporary adjust to new caregivers only to then have to adjust again once a final decision has been made.

 

[wileybunch]

I agree that foster care seems cruel, but the state only has so many options. The no longer prospective adoptive mom isn't an option, she isn't in the area, either, and the paternal g'ma at this point is no more known than a foster parent is.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree that foster care seems cruel, but the state only has so many options. The no longer prospective adoptive mom isn't an option, she isn't in the area, either, and the paternal g'ma at this point is no more known than a foster parent is.

Its true that the paternal grandma is no more known than a foster parent, but if the legal odds are that she will end up with either the father or the paternal grandma, then being placed NOW with the paternal grandma would be less cruel than her bonding with foster parents and then having to break those bonds and adjust again.

 

[Ohiogal]

Its true that the paternal grandma is no more known than a foster parent, but if the legal odds are that she will end up with either the father or the paternal grandma, then being placed NOW with the paternal grandma would be less cruel than her bonding with foster parents and then having to break those bonds and adjust again.

Actually a foster parent would be more known -- to the state at least. At which is what the STATE would be looking. Dad may have the burden of proving he is fit in this case -- i don't know details of this case -- rather than the state proving he is unfit or unsuitable.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually a foster parent would be more known -- to the state at least. At which is what the STATE would be looking. Dad may have the burden of proving he is fit in this case -- i don't know details of this case -- rather than the state proving he is unfit or unsuitable.

I do understand what you are saying, but I am thinking of the child.

She is being ripped from the bond that she knows...she will bond with the foster parents and then end up being ripped from that bond as well.

That is horrendous for the child.

 

[nextwife]

I agree with everything that has been said, but since the child is only two, how would it have even been possible for the adoptive mother to explain to the child that she was adopted and had other birth parents out there?

By two, an adoptive parent should already be introducing their child to the concept of families by choice, rather than birth. Adoptive parents can read books like "A Mother For Choco", "Are YOU my Mother", "Tell me again about the night I was born", Adoption", by Fred Rodgers (of Mr Rodgers Neighborhood), and others, and talking to their child with terms that will help them always know they became a family in a special way. WE used to tell my daughter for example, that she came to Mommy and Daddy from the Baby Home (that's what they call the Birth to Three orphanages) on an airplane when she was a baby to become our little girl. One expands the story as they get older, but the kernals of "their adoption story" start while prelingual. That way they always know and are never surprised to learn. There was never a time that kiddo didn't know.

Except, THIS mother never bothered actually DOING what it takes to complete the adoption properly and permanently.