one parent going with new doctor unilaterally when there should be joint decision making

[zddoodah]

When you spoke with your child's mother about why she wants to use the PT in Murfreesboro, what happened? You wrote that you'll be taking the kid half the time, which means the mother will be taking him the other half of the time. If Murfreesboro is the midway point, why should she have to do all the driving? You made much of being the "primary custodian," but if each of you is handling half of the appointments, it doesn't matter that you're the "primary custodian." If you're each handling half of the visits, why should all of the travel burden fall on the mother?

You don't need to answer that, but you should prepare yourself to explain it to the court. Here's the reality. If she wants to take the kid to a PT in Murfreesboro on her custodial time, there's nothing stopping her from doing so unless you seek relief from the court. Likewise, if you want to take the kid to a PT in Nashville on your custodial time, there's nothing stopping you from doing so unless she seeks relief from the court. Are you going to do that? Is she going to do that? The court is going to expect that you'll behave like adults and is not going to want to micro-manage your lives.

 

[AlmostThere]

You apparently misunderstood my point, it is me who is fighting to avoid my child having to sit an hour and a half. Mufreesboro is the halfway point between the parents, so it's still almost a 45 min drive for the mother and our child lives the majority of time with me

Is the physical therapy short term or long term?
Was the physical therapist recommended by the doctor who prescribed PT recommended?

If it is short-term - a few months of PT post-injury or something similar, just suck it up. Find a way to make the car time enjoyable. Try listening to audiobooks that your child enjoys. Bring a picnic meal. Etc. It will be over before you are done arguing about it. You could also request that since the therapist is closer to your ex than you, you swap days and let your ex do the therapy appointments.

If it is long-term - it may be worth asking asking this particular therapist was chosen. If the child's doctor recommended this doctor, then again find a way to deal with it. If PT was recommended and no specific therapist was suggested by the doctor recommending a therapist, it may be worth discussing moving the therapist to a more central location.

Parenting includes a lot of driving your child around and waiting during appointments.

 

[commentator]

Seems to be there are either two or six (depending on your definition of "major").

1. Nashville (690k as of the 2020 census)
2. Memphis (633k)
3. Knoxville (191k)
4. Chattanooga (181k)
5. Clarkesville (167k)
6. Murfreesboro (153k)

Everything else is under 100k.


Question for the OP: What do you mean by "far away"?

Okay, am not referring to places in TN based on population. But for the most part, our rural hospitals are gone. Small town hospitals are simply satellites/ feeders for the big ones, the major medical centers. And in Tennessee, there are four major places where you go to get medical treatment. You either go to Nashville, Knoxville, Memphis or Chattanooga. That's where the helicopter takes you when it's a big problem.

But this is a valid situation in our state, the medical business, where you are going to have treatment. In other words, when I have cancer, do I want to be treated at the satellite medical facility here in my town, or do I want to actually go to a bigger place for more serious treatment and/or hospitalization? I know many people who drive their children over a hundred miles to the closest place where they believe them to be able to get decent medical treatment for anything except screaming emergencies.

But physical therapy is another issue, is available just about everywhere. The travel between Nashville and Murfreesboro depending where you are going in both places is only 45 minutes if you're looking at the most optimistic map. It's quite hectic and could be troublesome for something like physical therapy, which would be accessible most any place. Wonder what was the thinking of using a physical therapy situation there? It would be good if the two parties could discuss this, determine what exactly is the reason for the selection of this particular therapy provider. But probably will not happen. This is an issue that should not be all this tough to compromise or work out.

 

[AlmostThere]

Okay, am not referring to places in TN based on population. But for the most part, our rural hospitals are gone. Small town hospitals are simply satellites/ feeders for the big ones, the major medical centers. And in Tennessee, there are four major places where you go to get medical treatment. You either go to Nashville, Knoxville, Memphis or Chattanooga. That's where the helicopter takes you when it's a big problem.

But this is a valid situation in our state, the medical business, where you are going to have treatment. In other words, when I have cancer, do I want to be treated at the satellite medical facility here in my town, or do I want to actually go to a bigger place for more serious treatment and/or hospitalization? I know many people who drive their children over a hundred miles to the closest place where they believe them to be able to get decent medical treatment for anything except screaming emergencies.

But physical therapy is another issue, is available just about everywhere. The travel between Nashville and Murfreesboro depending where you are going in both places is only 45 minutes if you're looking at the most optimistic map. It's quite hectic and could be troublesome for something like physical therapy, which would be accessible most any place. Wonder what was the thinking of using a physical therapy situation there? It would be good if the two parties could discuss this, determine what exactly is the reason for the selection of this particular therapy provider. But probably will not happen. This is an issue that should not be all this tough to compromise or work out.

OP has not told us why the child is going for PT.

I would not agree that one physical therapist is as good as another. When my kid had a head injury that required months of PT, we worked with the specific PT that the neuro recommended who specialized in these types of injuries.

 

[stealth2]

OP has not told us why the child is going for PT.

I would not agree that one physical therapist is as good as another. When my kid had a head injury that required months of PT, we worked with the specific PT that the neuro recommended who specialized in these types of injuries.

Which is why the reason for PT is somewhat important. Given reddsman posted that the child’s doctor did not recommend a specific PT…

 

[LdiJ]

OP has not told us why the child is going for PT.

I would not agree that one physical therapist is as good as another. When my kid had a head injury that required months of PT, we worked with the specific PT that the neuro recommended who specialized in these types of injuries.

He also didn't answer my question regarding "why" mom wants the particular therapist.

However, once again, this is standard for this poster. He does not answer most of the questions asked, and therefore doesn't get good advice.

 

[stealth2]

You apparently misunderstood my point, it is me who is fighting to avoid my child having to sit an hour and a half. Mufreesboro is the halfway point between the parents, so it's still almost a 45 min drive for the mother and our child lives the majority of time with me

Not quite. You want your child to sit in a car for an hour and a half (each way) when Mom has the child in her custody, versus five minutes when with you. While you've told us you're the primary custodial parent, you've also told us that you have the child 4-5 nights per week and that you're "supposed" to be 50/50. So it's fair for us to assume that Mom will be taking the child every other week. You're looking at your convenience, IMO.