OT - VERY sad abuse situation witnessed today

[2Mistakes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MS

My wife and I witnessed a situation today that I just wanted to tell ya'll about.

We had to go to the local IRS office, and there was a 6ish year old little girl, her mother, and her step-father sitting behind us. (I know he was step-dad because one of the things he said to the little girl was, "I'm glad you live with your dad now. I never wanted you around anyways.") That was actually very mild compared to the rest of what he said.

This precious child was being very well-behaved, sitting in her seat. She was a little figgedity a few times, but never got off the chair.

Everytime she moved, he would tell her that if she didn't sit still he was going to take her in the bathroom and kick her @ss. Exact words. Still pretty tame, considering the rest.

One time her hand slipped off the armrest and he told her he was going to break every bone in both her hands.

Obviously, at her age, her feet couldn't touch the floor sitting in her seat, and 1 of her flip flops fell off. He told her he was going to break both her legs if she didn't sit still.

Then he told her, and I quote, "You make me so sick that I'm going to cut you up into little pieces and ship you to Japan to use as sushi."

She asked her mom (who never said ONE word during any of this) when she was going back to her daddy's house, and the step-father said he would cut up her dad and send him to Japan, too. He told the little girl that since she lived with her dad now, not to ask her mom for anything, no food, no water, no clothes, and that she could ask her dad. The last thing he said to her before they left was, "You just wait and see what I'm going to do to you when we leave here."

When they left, my wife went outside and pretended to be making a phone call, but was going to get their license plate #. Unfortunately, they had a tinted (illegal) plastic cover on it, and she couldn't read it.

Obviously, the IRS rep couldn't give us any info on the people (understandably) and said that because she hadn't witnessed it (it happened in the waiting area) she couldn't report it.

My wife was just tore up about this. We went to the CPS office to see if there was anything at all that could be done. We could tell the CPS agent exact times (my wife was texting her mom about it at the time) and which IRS rep they saw. We were hoping that maybe CPS could contact the IRS office and obtain the mother and step-father's info, but they can't do that. The only way we could have made a CPS report was if we could supply CPS with their names and address. These were strangers, so obviously we couldn't.

We are both haunted by this. My wife just cried and cried when we found out there was nothing to do. We are both afraid that we are going to read about something happening to this poor little girl in the paper.

Looking back, we probably should have called the police at the time, while they were still there, but hindsight is 20/20.

Just thought I would share this. It's heart-breaking, but really brings home how much damage an overstepping step can do to a child. As well as a biological parent who doesn't intervene.

We just pray that this poor, precious child is ok.

 

[Proserpina]

I think I just threw up a little

That's absolutely disgusting.

I'm frightened for that little girl.

 

[xylene]

The world is full of terrible things.

Being upset about something where you are powerless and helpless to act or make a positive change is not going to do anything but make you feel heartache.

And the amount of things in the world to which we find ourselves impotent and ineffectual despite our sincerest desires is daunting.

I suggest you donate time or money to an organization that helps victims of abuse.

That is one way you could at least indirectly help this person.

 

[LdiJ]

Lets hope that the stepdad was all talk, and no action....in fact, lets all pray that the stepdad was all talk, and no action.

 

[2Mistakes]

Pro, we are frightened for her, too. My wife has been teary off and on all day. When this was going on, she had tears in her eyes the whole time. We were both hesitant to say anything to him (although I wanted to let him have it) because we were afraid it would make things worse for the little girl. It's easy to 2nd guess your reaction to a situation after the fact.

xylene, that is a wonderful idea. We both have heavy hearts right now, and maybe doing some volunteer work with abused children will help us feel better, while making a difference in the lives of children. Our local CASA organization is recruiting, and I think my wife is going to check into it.

LdiJ, I'm not an overly religious person, but I will definitely be sending prayers up for her. No child should be talked to that way, and I just pray that he was all talk. Although what he was doing was abuse as well, I hope he doesn't hurt her physically as well.

I also hope she talks to someone, her dad, a grandparent, anyone, and that someone intervenes. Her mother certainly won't. She just sat there with a blank look on her face the whole time.

At 1 point, I had to physically keep my hand over my mouth in order to not turn around and just completely go off. I'm not a violent person by nature, but I would have loved to get a piece of this guy.

 

[mistoffolees]

Pro, we are frightened for her, too. My wife has been teary off and on all day. When this was going on, she had tears in her eyes the whole time. We were both hesitant to say anything to him (although I wanted to let him have it) because we were afraid it would make things worse for the little girl. It's easy to 2nd guess your reaction to a situation after the fact.

xylene, that is a wonderful idea. We both have heavy hearts right now, and maybe doing some volunteer work with abused children will help us feel better, while making a difference in the lives of children. Our local CASA organization is recruiting, and I think my wife is going to check into it.

LdiJ, I'm not an overly religious person, but I will definitely be sending prayers up for her. No child should be talked to that way, and I just pray that he was all talk. Although what he was doing was abuse as well, I hope he doesn't hurt her physically as well.

I also hope she talks to someone, her dad, a grandparent, anyone, and that someone intervenes. Her mother certainly won't. She just sat there with a blank look on her face the whole time.

At 1 point, I had to physically keep my hand over my mouth in order to not turn around and just completely go off. I'm not a violent person by nature, but I would have loved to get a piece of this guy.

You did what you could.

If you're ever unlucky enough to have it happen again, I would talk to the IRS agent. I would say "I know you can't give me information about that couple, but I would like for you to make a note of who they are for your own records. You will be receiving a visit from the police or child protective services who will probably want to obtain a court order to get the information and if you have it handy, it might save a child's life."

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I think I just threw up a little

That's absolutely disgusting.

I'm frightened for that little girl.

Absolutely terrified for the little girl... the "I never wanted you around" was bad enough... the rest? HE should be drawn, quartered, quartered again, head on a pike and tar and feathered... not necessarily in order. Prayers for the little girl

 

[Ohiogal]

Lets hope that the stepdad was all talk, and no action....in fact, lets all pray that the stepdad was all talk, and no action.

Actually, lets pray that stepdad gets hit by a bus. Or mom wakes up and realizes that such a person is NOT someone she should be with even if his penis is the god of the love and makes gorgeous music with her. Lets pray that mom keeps child from being abused. Lets pray that stepdad is caught by a stray bullet and dies a long, painful death. Lets pray that he chokes on sushi the next time he eats it and that leaves him brain dead. I can think of many more prayers for stepdad.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Probably a good thing the child went to live with dad. We do NOT know the circumstances that caused that to happen - maybe mom LET it happen so that she could protect a child.

It is apparent that mom probably suffers from domestic abuse. If her self esteem was beat down, maybe she did right by her child and let her go to dad's.

 

[Ohiogal]

Probably a good thing the child went to live with dad. We do NOT know the circumstances that caused that to happen - maybe mom LET it happen so that she could protect a child.

It is apparent that mom probably suffers from domestic abuse. If her self esteem was beat down, maybe she did right by her child and let her go to dad's.

At which point i PRAY that a bus careens into stepdad as he is accidentally FORCIBLY pushed in the middle of the street.

 

[st-kitts]

The situation described here is heart breaking, but ----

Is the situation somehow sadder because it was witnessed by a third party rather than brought to the forum by the custodial parent?

This type of situation is brought to this forum all the time by a parent and the responses are very, very, very, (let me add another VERY) different to the parent that has the audacity to suggest that this type of behavior might harm a child.

In 18 months on this board I haven't been able to understand the harsh responses to custodial parents that come to the forum with heartfelt concerns about their child's safety in the care of the other parent. It makes the responses to this post incomprehensible to me. I wish this much concern was shown for parents that express concerns over this type of behavior toward their own child, rather than a stranger's child. Maybe then, there would be less children in this type of situation.

 

[Proserpina]

The situation described here is heart breaking, but ----

Is the situation somehow sadder because it was witnessed by a third party rather than brought to the forum by the custodial parent?

Yes, actually. I do think so.

This type of situation is brought to this forum all the time by a parent and the responses are very, very, very, (let me add another VERY) different to the parent that has the audacity to suggest that this type of behavior might harm a child.

All the time? And the responses aren't similar? Could you point out a thread or three so we can view them please?

Because truly, in all my time here I have rarely seen the posters respond negatively to a parent who has posted something close to what 2mistakes witnessed.

In 18 months on this board I haven't been able to understand the harsh responses to custodial parents that come to the forum with heartfelt concerns about their child's safety in the care of the other parent.

That's because the vast majority of posts don't come anywhere close to what 2mistakes saw today. The majority of posts concern what are essentially trivial matters in the grand scheme of things. We cannot take every "You're a lazy brat" and extrapolate that into "I'm going to cut you up".

It makes the responses to this post incomprehensible to me. I wish this much concern was shown for parents that express concerns over this type of behavior toward their own child, rather than a stranger's child. Maybe then, there would be less children in this type of situation.

I think you're reading too much into...well, I'm not sure actually. I know you have your own agenda, as do most of us. But honestly, I'm just not seeing what you're seeing.

By all means, feel free to point us to threads where we've slammed a parent for telling us about a situation similar to the topic here.

 

[st-kitts]

All the time? And the responses aren't similar? Could you point out a thread or three so we can view them please?

Because truly, in all my time here I have rarely seen the posters respond negatively to a parent who has posted something close to what 2mistakes witnessed.

By all means, feel free to point us to threads where we've slammed a parent for telling us about a situation similar to the topic here.

Pro - not directed at you actually... Everyone here has an agenda, as well as an interest in the law, and I believe most people here have a genuine desire to help...

The threads I am referring to are threads I generally don't comment on because they aren't "my topic" but I do read them. I jumped in on this one simply because the hijack doesn't harm an OP actually seeking advice for their own legal situation.

One such thread I thought were upsetting in terms of callous response to the child's welfare - nanasrcool - Ex was Abusive and now I'm in contempt... That poster’s description of an ex abusing her child was fairly horrific from where I stand and some of the responses there were out of line, imo... Then there was the woman who was upset about the picture of the man that raped her daughter holding her daughter on Facebook, the mom whose ex trashed her house and tried to commit suicide in her bed with the child present... those are a few from recent memory but I see them nearly every week, from my angle. Not every response is callous but some posters are fairly consistent in attacking any parent that attempts to limit contact with a party they claim to be abusive, especially emotionally abusive... I acknowledge that I tend to give more credibility to claims of an abusive ex (and easy for me to mentally extrapolate that to abusive 3rd party such as stepdad here) than some others as I am sensitive to the topic. I am equally sensitive to the responses and how they will be interpreted by a somewhat vulnerable OP in many cases.

I just wish the shock and upset here on this thread would just occur more often when a parent mentions it and the responders consider what the parent should do if the allegations are true.

 

[CourtClerk]

I'm going to take a very unpopular stance here, I'm sure....

but it APPALLS me that you and your wife (two people with good sense) can listen to an adult talk to a child like this and do nothing. There's no reason to cry NOW, when you had the opportunity to say something, you didn't. This is why there is so much abuse behind closed doors. Everyone looks, winces, whispers under their breaths, talks about it in the car and for hours and days on end...

but no one does anything when it COUNTS.

I'm going to leave this thread now, probably never to come back because I am the type of person who says what I think. I don't whisper under my breath.

 

[stealth2]

I can't say I disagree with you, CC... Poor little kiddo.