OT - VERY sad abuse situation witnessed today

[>Charlotte<]

I understand what you're saying, st-kitts; however, I think there's a certain distinction to be made.

2mistakes has no agenda. This is something he and his wife personally witnessed, and it can easily be accepted as factual.

I don't think any member of this site is actually indifferent to the plight of any suffering child. I think the harsh skepticism is directed toward parents who are perceived as trying to exaggerate or even fabricate issues in an attempt to stack the deck. It's really difficult to accept at face value the claims of a parent who joins to ask about trivial or legally irrelevant issues, and when the expected response isn't forthcoming suddenly remembers what a horrible, abusive, neglectful parent the offending ex is.

That's not to say there aren't threads where the criticism starts right out of the gate, but (right or wrong) perhaps some of us calibrate our radar a little too sensitively.

To be fair, there are also threads where the accusations of abusiveness seem genuine and have elicited plenty of compassion.

 

[peppier]

Pro - not directed at you actually... Everyone here has an agenda, as well as an interest in the law, and I believe most people here have a genuine desire to help...

The threads I am referring to are threads I generally don't comment on because they aren't "my topic" but I do read them. I jumped in on this one simply because the hijack doesn't harm an OP actually seeking advice for their own legal situation.

One such thread I thought were upsetting in terms of callous response to the child's welfare - nanasrcool - Ex was Abusive and now I'm in contempt... That poster’s description of an ex abusing her child was fairly horrific from where I stand and some of the responses there were out of line, imo... Then there was the woman who was upset about the picture of the man that raped her daughter holding her daughter on Facebook, the mom whose ex trashed her house and tried to commit suicide in her bed with the child present... those are a few from recent memory but I see them nearly every week, from my angle. Not every response is callous but some posters are fairly consistent in attacking any parent that attempts to limit contact with a party they claim to be abusive, especially emotionally abusive... I acknowledge that I tend to give more credibility to claims of an abusive ex (and easy for me to mentally extrapolate that to abusive 3rd party such as stepdad here) than some others as I am sensitive to the topic. I am equally sensitive to the responses and how they will be interpreted by a somewhat vulnerable OP in many cases.

I just wish the shock and upset here on this thread would just occur more often when a parent mentions it and the responders consider what the parent should do if the allegations are true.

I don't know how long I've read these threads but I have been appalled more often than not about how mean they come off.

When the majority of the new posters feel like they are being attacked and in my opinion are attacked, and ask why they are being so mean and they get the churlish response of, "you just attacked people who selflessly volunteer their time to help you and we're not giving you any information." I just cringe. I have names for most of the regular posters, like: the nice one, Ms Common Sense, the Wise Owl, those are the ones I can print in good company.

And the "Legal Stranger" obsession is just insane! They can explain in a calm, courteous, non-accusatory tone, but no, they have to go on the attack. They seem to think that these people should know something about the law but if they did they wouldn't think they needed this forum.

I can see not getting the concept of "Legal Stranger" at first and then you get confused with a barrage of abuse. And I know they are supposed to read "The Sticky" but most people don't read directions and expecting someone who is scared, concerned, angry and hurt to stop and read "The Sticky" is like expecting children or adults to behave 100% of the time.

IMO, they are jaded, they have seen the worst and everyone else has to somehow prove that they aren't some kind of selfish pig who just wants their child/ren all for themselves. They are like policemen who begin to think that everyone is a criminal and emergency room nurses who think the whole world is like the ER. They have lost their compassion, they have lost their ability to inform without opinion. I could go on, but I better not.

 

[stealth2]

I don't know how long I've read these threads but I have been appalled more often than not about how mean they come off.

When the majority of the new posters feel like they are being attacked and in my opinion are attacked, and ask why they are being so mean and they get the churlish response of, "you just attacked people who selflessly volunteer their time to help you and we're not giving you any information." I just cringe. I have names for most of the regular posters, like: the nice one, Ms Common Sense, the Wise Owl, those are the ones I can print in good company.

And the "Legal Stranger" obsession is just insane! They can explain in a calm, courteous, non-accusatory tone, but no, they have to go on the attack. They seem to think that these people should know something about the law but if they did they wouldn't think they needed this forum.

I can see not getting the concept of "Legal Stranger" at first and then you get confused with a barrage of abuse. And I know they are supposed to read "The Sticky" but most people don't read directions and expecting someone who is scared, concerned, angry and hurt to stop and read "The Sticky" is like expecting children or adults to behave 100% of the time.

IMO, they are jaded, they have seen the worst and everyone else has to somehow prove that they aren't some kind of selfish pig who just wants their child/ren all for themselves. They are like policemen who begin to think that everyone is a criminal and emergency room nurses who think the whole world is like the ER. They have lost their compassion, they have lost their ability to inform without opinion. I could go on, but I better not.

I'd like to know who "they" are...

 

[Proserpina]

I'd like to know who "they" are...

Me too.

If someone is going to call people out - they need to just call people out.

I for one appreciate honesty. Don't beat around the bush. Don't do the passive-aggressive thingy. Just tell us. Y'know?

 

[CourtClerk]

I don't know how long I've read these threads but I have been appalled more often than not about how mean they come off.

When the majority of the new posters feel like they are being attacked and in my opinion are attacked, and ask why they are being so mean and they get the churlish response of, "you just attacked people who selflessly volunteer their time to help you and we're not giving you any information." I just cringe. I have names for most of the regular posters, like: the nice one, Ms Common Sense, the Wise Owl, those are the ones I can print in good company.

And the "Legal Stranger" obsession is just insane! They can explain in a calm, courteous, non-accusatory tone, but no, they have to go on the attack. They seem to think that these people should know something about the law but if they did they wouldn't think they needed this forum.

I can see not getting the concept of "Legal Stranger" at first and then you get confused with a barrage of abuse. And I know they are supposed to read "The Sticky" but most people don't read directions and expecting someone who is scared, concerned, angry and hurt to stop and read "The Sticky" is like expecting children or adults to behave 100% of the time.

IMO, they are jaded, they have seen the worst and everyone else has to somehow prove that they aren't some kind of selfish pig who just wants their child/ren all for themselves. They are like policemen who begin to think that everyone is a criminal and emergency room nurses who think the whole world is like the ER. They have lost their compassion, they have lost their ability to inform without opinion. I could go on, but I better not.

Well, since this was brought to my attention... I don't particularly care what anyone on the internet has to say (you included). No one here signs my paycheck and that automatically makes you insignificant. Shoot, the people who sign my paycheck aren't even that significant in the long run. You can always find someone to sign a paycheck.

I just want to know what my nickname is because I get giggles out of it.

 

[gr8rn]

I would hope there would be something that OP can still do. Would a local TV station find an interest in helping to locate this child?

I doubt I would have been able to face this man. I think OP was wary that the man might have made things first for the little girl if he had confronted him. But we will never know...I just don't think I would let it go

 

[CourtClerk]

If someone is going to call people out - they need to just call people out.

A whole lot of passive aggressiveness to be had. Whatever.

 

[Proserpina]

Well, since this was brought to my attention... I don't particularly care what anyone on the internet has to say (you included). No one here signs my paycheck and that automatically makes you insignificant. Shoot, the people who sign my paycheck aren't even that significant in the long run. You can always find someone to sign a paycheck.

I just want to know what my nickname is because I get giggles out of it.

Apparently I am "Ms. Crumpet while you read the sticky, dear?"

 

[CourtClerk]

Apparently I am "Ms. Crumpet while you read the sticky, dear?"

At least you've got a name that won't get you banned. The all knowing namer has given me a bannable. Of course, that's SOOO me.

 

[Proserpina]

At least you've got a name that won't get you banned. The all knowing namer has given me a bannable. Of course, that's SOOO me.

Totally you.

Totally.

 

[stealth2]

While I am, apparently, nickname-less. <sob>

*psych*!

 

[Proserpina]

While I am, apparently, nickname-less. <sob>

*psych*!

Queen Pinky Finger Lovechops.

That's your nickname.

 

[stealth2]

Queen Pinky Finger Lovechops.

What the heck? That's Ms QPFL to all the rest of y'all!

 

[proud_parent]

What the heck? That's Ms QPFL to all the rest of y'all!

Since I automatically render all acronyms to their pronounceable equivalents, I'll be thinking of you as "Ms. Cupful" from now on.

Speaking of...who's pouring?

 

[Proserpina]

Since I automatically render all acronyms to their pronounceable equivalents, I'll be thinking of you as "Ms. Cupful" from now on.

Speaking of...who's pouring?

^ Pure example of "awesomeness".