Parental Alienation and Misguided Action of Judge - Georgia

[ShockedNana]

The reason that this term (especially with the addition of "syndrome") is often triggering is due to the person who coined the term (Richard A. Gardner). Gardner (initially) used the term almost exclusively against mothers, claiming that they often used accusations of molestation of the child against the father, true or not. He insisted that such accusations were invariably false and advocated for the child to be placed in the father's custody.

Although Wikipedia isn't the best source, it does provide a good starting point, with citations for further research. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation_syndrome

Gardner's research was widely discredited, and he was a very controversial figure, based both on his views regarding pedophelia and mandatory child abuse reporting.

So, yeah, parental alienation should be used with great caution. (btw - I don't really see his not wanting your granddaughter to share the news of his romantic woes or the upcoming infant with Mom/family as a huge issue.)

I don't think the term PA was used in court....hopefully lawyer knew not to...I used it to describe father manipulating child to lie to/ not tell her mother about who was living at his house under the threat that she would take child away from him....nothing implied about physical abuse.
I disagree that that it not a big deal for one parent to not be told that the other has had a partner, step-child and biological child on the way moving in to the house your child is at half the time.

 

[stealth2]

No ad litem was appointed.

Was one requested?

 

[ShockedNana]

I do not think so...it is my understanding that the judge would be the one to make request(??) Apparently he was satisfied making the ruling based on his brief conversation with my granddaughter.

 

[LdiJ]

I do not think so...it is my understanding that the judge would be the one to make request(??) Apparently he was satisfied making the ruling based on his brief conversation with my granddaughter.

No, it would have been up to one of the parties (mom or dad) to request that an ad Litem be appointed. However, as I said before not that many years ago a teen's wishes were controlling in GA and even now, they carry great weight.

 

[stealth2]

I do not think so...it is my understanding that the judge would be the one to make request(??) Apparently he was satisfied making the ruling based on his brief conversation with my granddaughter.

Usually one or both of the parties request a GAL, often offering some potential names.

 

[ShockedNana]

Usually one or both of the parties request a GAL, often offering some potential names.

Thx...love the coloring/ children quote

 

[Zigner]

I used it to describe father manipulating child to lie to/ not tell her mother about who was living at his house under the threat that she would take child away from him....

Even that is not parental alienation, as commonly defined. I'm not speaking to the validity of it, just that it's not what you think it is.

 

[commentator]

The parental alienation thing that I think no one has ever forgotten is that much publicized Alex Baldwin temper tantrum on the phone to his teenage daughter, he was throwing around "parental alienation" to the point of making everyone that ever heard that cringe forever when they heard the phrase. God only knows how much we all who are parents wish it was that easy to alienate our children from our ex spouses or to alienate them from bad significant others that they take up with, or bad friends, etc. Unfortunately, there's no magic drug you can give them for brainwashing purposes, and if you spend too much time complaining about those other people, it tends to make them more interesting and verbotten and exciting than they ever could be otherwise. I love steath's suggestion. Just don't be the things that your ex is telling the children you are, and eventually, given they are of normal intelligence, they'll figure it all out without you having to spend a lot of time on negative talk.

I hope that your little family can get things resolved, keep you involved and loving and participating in your granddaughter's life, and that you guys enjoy many good years together in the future. Even the most hairy custody battles eventually are over ( I remember a little boy whose parents were doing some early experiments with joint custody expressed to me that when he became 18, he was going to move away to someplace in the far far away and never see EITHER of his parents again.) He did just that, incidentally. We hope you can stay close, stay involved and that things will work out as well as possible for your granddaughter, daughter and you.