Parental Alienation?

[Isis1]

you know...my children's father does this too. and i have never stopped him from calling his kids everyday. what i have noticed is that children are more likely to forget such silly conversations more readily then you think. use that to your advantage. plan to do something constructive after each phone call. my kids pretty much talk to their dad right before playing outside with friends or right before watching their nightly tv program before bed. all negative thoughts are out the window in a few minutes. don't listen in on phone calls. your child will remember that. deliberately be unavailable while your child is having a conversation.

 

[DA412]

Thank ya'll, again, for all the great advice. Please know that I'm not trying to limit phone contact between our daughter and her mother and that I, in no way, eavesdrop or supervise their conversations. I would never know anything about her mother's bribery if our daughter didn't tell me about it after every phonecall. And my child is innocent, she doesn't realize what her mother is doing. I'm just afraid it might hurt her in the long run. Someone had mentioned parental alienation to me, so I researched it and found some examples...one of them being "Setting up temptations that interfere with visitation". Which is why I wanted to get everyone's input on this. The more I read about it, the more I fear it could turn into something more serious if my ex decided to take it a step further and try to turn our daughter against me in some way. She's already said things to me in front of her, such as "She has a family now, she doesn't need you", (family, meaning ex's new boyfriend). I was just hoping there was something that could be done legally, since I know my ex won't compromise.

 

[3UofMfans]

I am not sure about this but the setting up temptations to interfere with visitation may refer to what my ex likes to do. As an example he tells the children that he wants to take them to the mountains to cut down a tree on a specific weekend. Well the weekend is my time with them so then I am left to either 1) be the mean mom that says no or 2) give up our time together so they can go. The problem with the way it is done is he will tell them before he talks to me about it. Just my very non legal guess

 

[Isis1]

i always opt to be the mean mom. ex always makes plans on my weekends. then kids get mad because i won't say yes. too bad. oldest one locks himself in the bathroom to cry. i let him. when he's done he comes out, washes his face and goes plays outside. they get over it.

 

[3UofMfans]

Most of the time I opt to be the mean mom also. I am lucky that I have 2 boys that are very understanding of the importance of family. We have talked about a lot of the issues the OP is having. He may be surprised at his childs reaction if they talk about the importance of family or materialistic items vs helping others etc.