Parent's Legal Rights

[joe645]

I agree that the idea of transferring ownership is ridiculous.

Why doesn't the girl just sell her house? That makes much more sense.

As a matter of fact, this was brought up and both her father and us were totally against it. First off they don't have any finances to sell it. Selling it takes money for upgrades which the townhouse needs. Second, if they unload it as is they would lose 75% of the value. It would be sold as a buyers market. Her Father is a Real Estate Broker. He is against this for other reasons also. He feels that they would just go through the money like water and then what. Back to square one but now without anything.

 

[justalayman]

As a matter of fact, this was brought up and both her father and us were totally against it. First off they don't have any finances to sell it. Selling it takes money for upgrades which the townhouse needs. Second, if they unload it as is they would lose 75% of the value. It would be sold as a buyers market. Her Father is a Real Estate Broker. He is against this for other reasons also. He feels that they would just go through the money like water and then what. Back to square one but now without anything.

You are wrong. Selling does not require money, at least up front. You can sell it without the upgrades. It reduces the value but you can still sell it.



how do you come up with they (and who is THEY? It is the girl's property, yes?) would lose anything? She paid nothing for it so anything is profit but arguing they would lose 75% of the value; time to find a different RE agent. If you mean she could get more in a different market or she could get more if she polished the place, well, you are correct but I'm still missing the point.

. He feels that they would just go through the money like water and then what. Back to square one but now without anything

how is your idea any better? Do you plan on being a babysitter? Here's a dollar. Go get an ice cream bar. Here's a dollar; go get [whatever].


but since you will own the property, they will actually be worse off than if they sold it and had a large influx of cash. Ya see, in your situation, they don't have the money or the property.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Well, selling the house, in whatever market, makes more sense than transferring ownership. For you and for her.

 

[joe645]

There are many reasons that we do not want our grandson living with us. We are retired and want our privacy. He lived with us for s time and wound up stealing around 10,000 in jewelry to support a drug habit. His mother fees the same way and was put upon in a similar manner. The whole point is hopefully they will land jobs and get financially on their feet to move into the home themselves.

 

[joe645]

Reason from Father: Selling the property is not an option in her best interests. The townhouse market value is 85.235. Marketing it as is would probably bring up to 35,000 offers. After fees, commissions, taxes, my daughter would be left with maybe 30,000. I believe they would go through that money in less than a year. Then what do they have?

 

[justalayman]

The whole point is hopefully they will land jobs and get financially on their fee to move into the home themselves.

You are betting they are going to magically change. I suspect you have no idea what your grandson's and the girl's life is about right now. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they figure out they want to change. Sometimes they really don't want to change.


You are laying out a plan where you are an enabler. It is not going to spur them into changing a thing.

 

[justalayman]

Reason from Father: Selling the property is not an option in her best interests. The townhouse market value is 85.235. Marketing it as is would probably bring up to 35,000 offers. After fees, commissions, taxes, my daughter would be left with maybe 30,000. I believe they would go through that money in less than a year. Then what do they have?

what they won't have is somebody trying to play puppet master and control everything they do or they won't get the dollar for an ice cream bar.

 

[I'mTheFather]

How much does she make from renting the place?

 

[joe645]

I ask all of you who have posted. Put your self in my place for a moment. You don't have the assets or want to take the risk for a loan. The father has stated to us that he would rather see them separate and he would then take over control of the townhouse, kick the present tenants out and leave it vacant. He would then find help for his daughter by pulling strings to get her into a Rescue Shelter or Christian Ministry House. (This sounds very harsh and cruel to me). If there is anyone who sounds like they want complete control it is him. But his solution doesn't sit well with us. I agree that there doesn't seem to be a easy solution to this problem. We are talking about the survival of two you people who want to stay together and get on with their lives. It is very obvious to us that the kid need love and honest guidance in this matter. But on the other hand, my wife and I are not about to put our lives and what future we have left at risk.

 

[joe645]

You are betting they are going to magically change. I suspect you have no idea what your grandson's and the girl's life is about right now. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they figure out they want to change. Sometimes they really don't want to change.


You are laying out a plan where you are an enabler. It is not going to spur them into changing a thing.

Believe me, I have every bit of knowledge of what these two have gone through. They have been at our doorstep on many occasions. Our grandson has hit bottom and knows he doesn't want to be there again. You are correct in that this is somewhat of a bet. There will be no magical change but hopefully progress. It won't accomplish anything to just give up on them and let them hit the streets.

The rental on the townhouse is $700 a month of which maybe $200 to 300 is profit minus maintenance. The rent where they are living now is $159.00 a week.

 

[justalayman]

I ask all of you who have posted. Put your self in my place for a moment. You don't have the assets or want to take the risk for a loan. The father has stated to us that he would rather see them separate and he would then take over control of the townhouse, kick the present tenants out and leave it vacant. He would then find help for his daughter by pulling strings to get her into a Rescue Shelter or Christian Ministry House. (This sounds very harsh and cruel to me). If there is anyone who sounds like they want complete control it is him. But his solution doesn't sit well with us. I agree that there doesn't seem to be a easy solution to this problem. We are talking about the survival of two you people who want to stay together and get on with their lives. It is very obvious to us that the kid need love and honest guidance in this matter. But on the other hand, my wife and I are not about to put our lives and what future we have left at risk.

if the girl is bipolar (btw; depression is one half of bipolar with mania being the other side of it), she needs medical treatment. Until that is treated, she is not going to be successful in anything. Unless she is going to get medical treatment for her bipolar concurrently with the residential situation, she is likely to have no success in anything. Since he is the father, do you think he might know a bit more about his daughter and her medical issues than you do?



while I understand your intent, I simply don't think your plan will work. It is very short sighted and underfunded (if the property is only worth $30k, just what kind of money do you think you will be able to borrow against it?).

 

[LdiJ]

I ask all of you who have posted. Put your self in my place for a moment. You don't have the assets or want to take the risk for a loan. The father has stated to us that he would rather see them separate and he would then take over control of the townhouse, kick the present tenants out and leave it vacant. He would then find help for his daughter by pulling strings to get her into a Rescue Shelter or Christian Ministry House. (This sounds very harsh and cruel to me). If there is anyone who sounds like they want complete control it is him. But his solution doesn't sit well with us. I agree that there doesn't seem to be a easy solution to this problem. We are talking about the survival of two you people who want to stay together and get on with their lives. It is very obvious to us that the kid need love and honest guidance in this matter. But on the other hand, my wife and I are not about to put our lives and what future we have left at risk.

Actually her father's plan sounds much more sensible than yours. Not one penny of any money coming out of that condo should be for the benefit of your grandson. Any money coming out of it should be solely for the benefit of the 20 year old girl...and yes, going into a rescue shelter or Christian Ministry House would at least put her in contact with outsiders would could either help her get her life together, or help her get into rehab if that is what she needs. He might however be a little shortsighted in kicking the tenants out, unless the condo at this point isn't really habitable or the tenants are unreliable.

I understand why none of your family wants your grandson living with any of you, because he obviously needs rehab too. However that doesn't mean that he has any right to benefit in any manner from this girl's asset.

You really need to understand how badly you are coming across here. There is not one person supporting your idea because from anyone looking in from the outside, its looks like you want this girls asset to help solve YOUR grandson's problems, and you are refusing to recognize that by doing so, you are doing nothing more than enabling him, and the "fix" may be nothing more than a temporary bandaid for either of their problems.

You are not wanting to put YOUR money where your mouth is, you are wanting to put HER money where your mouth is...and you want ownership of her asset in order to do it? What happens if something happens to you before the situation is resolved? Her asset will belong to your estate and none of your heirs would have any obligation to give it back to her.

Your son is not good for her. She is only 20 and has a much better chance of pulling her life around if she is no longer with your grandson. BACK OFF

 

[joe645]

First the girl is under medical care and it is not as "critical" as pointed out. She takes medication for her medical problems. My wife and I agree with what you are saying about them being together. We also think that they should separate but there again they are adults and make their own decisions. The girl says she can't sleep at nights without my grandson with her. She doesn't want to split up. That's their decision and there is nothing short of advise we can do about it. I am sorry if I have come across as a person who hasn't thought this out or one who just wants to profit from someone else misfortune. Believe me that is the farthest from the truth. This whole issue was initiated by her Father's actions and phone call to us that he was done with paying their rent (yes, as long as she was with my grandson) but didn't have any intention of continuing to pay the rent just for her either. The girl definitely need some help financially and otherwise. She has turned to me and like I said before, she doesn't trust her father. I have been doing a little research on my own. I am going to see if she can put the property up as collateral for a loan co-signed by us but with conditions of protections for us.

 

[justalayman]

joe645;3312092]First the girl is under medical care and it is not as "critical" as pointed out.

I said it is critical she has proper medical attention. I did not say she was critical

She takes medication for her medical problems.

but apparentlty she is not being treated successfully. remember, you are the one that said she is still exhibiting depression.

The girl definitely need some help financially and otherwise. She has turned to me and like I said before, she doesn't trust her father.

or she is playing you because her father won't just give her money like she wants.

 

[joe645]

Hey, who wouldn't be depressed if you didn't know where you were going to live next week, or didn't have enough money to buy a pack of gum. You surely don't expect her to be happy about her life. I know you can all say they made their own bed so they should lie in it. Give me a break. At this point, I think I am going to ask my Bank's Loan Officer for options as well as maybe contacting a local attorney. I would like to thank you for what advice you felt you were giving, good or otherwise. I know you had good intentions . . . but so did I.