Please help!!!! I need opinions!!!!

[AmIUnreasonable]

The problem is that the sessions are not with the therapist or my ex -- its a 8 weeks of videos. Everytime I ask this therapist to explain what I could be doing wrong she says "Just watch the video". How does that help??? If I am doing something wrong, just tell me what it is and dont play cat and mouse.

 

[stealth2]

I'm not playing cat and mouse. I'm trying to figure out why you're so resistant to even giving it a shot. Why can't you sit down and watch some videos? Maybe they will give you an idea how to improve things. The way I figure it - if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. And fact is - if you refuse to even try and it comes up in court - you're the one who's going to look uncooperative. So watch the frikkin' videos.

 

[AmIUnreasonable]

I wasnt saying you were playing cat and mouse I was saying the therapist seemed like she was.

Look, I will watch the videos but is it so bad to insist to keep things in writing between me and my ex. Is that really so horrible??? It really is for my protection.

 

[AmIUnreasonable]

BTW, I can clearly prove that writing has worked. I believe my ex wants to stop the writing communication in order to set me up like in the past. She did the same to her first ex husband who now has custody and did this to me in the early days of our divorce.

 

[stealth2]

No, keeping it in writing isn't horrible. Hell, my ex won't do it any other way, either. Actually, HE won't even write to me, but leave it to his wife. But the long and the short of it is that it IS better for kids if their parents can communicate - in person, even if just on the phone - on some minimal level. Making whatever effort you can to reach that will only benefit you.

As for the therapist - she only knows what you and the ex each tell her. She may have better input for you once you have a chance to see the videos and perhaps have some insight to where you could improve that you could discuss with her.

 

[AmIUnreasonable]

Stealth, you have no idea how much I wish we could just get on the phone and talk. I would have stayed her friend if she would have let me but since I wanted the divorce she has remained bitter ever since and done things that you couldnt imagine. She has tried to draw a wedge between me and my family by telling them things and then telling me things; she has tried to draw wedge between me and my best friend; she has made false claims that my new wife scratched her car; she has made arraingements with me on the phone and then denied these arraingements. I could go on and on and on BUT the real sad thing is - I know she is doing this who therapy thing and now stating that letter writing is cold so we can go back to this other behavior and it scares the hell out of me!!!!!

 

[shanney27]

Try this

You can follow up any phone calls with a hard copy letter. My DH will have discussions on the phone with his XW or her attorney and then he summarizes the conversation in a letter and sends a hard copy. End the letter with something like, "If you do not respond in writing within 10 days, then I will assume that you concur with my assessment of our phone conversation." This puts the onus on the other person if they disagree to put it in writing. If it is a very important subject, then send it certified RR.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I remember this guy from last year, please check out his previous threads......
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=180351 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=187994 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=180025

 

[casa]

I'm not playing cat and mouse. I'm trying to figure out why you're so resistant to even giving it a shot. Why can't you sit down and watch some videos? Maybe they will give you an idea how to improve things. The way I figure it - if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. And fact is - if you refuse to even try and it comes up in court - you're the one who's going to look uncooperative. So watch the frikkin' videos.

Me thinks there is a pattern of control issues here

 

[LdiJ]

Me thinks there is a pattern of control issues here

Me thinks so too....particularly after reviewing the other threads.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Me thinks so too....particularly after reviewing the other threads.

Me thinks we are all of one mind.