Possible harrassment with strick custody order?

[GrowUp!]

I wrote him and he refuses to go to any station other than the one walking distance from his house, which happens to be a 30 minute drive for me. I think on this one I should contact family court again.

Which one was used before? If you appeal the order, you also note a reason for clarification (as in this aspect).

How would I go about changing this?

You can not change this. You have to file a separate motion for relocation.

Is it possible for me to move but keep the child in the same school?

The school district will not allow it. If they find out, there will be serious problems.

How would I get him removed? I have been trying to figure that one out for weeks!! Do I just send an email or written comment to the Supreme Court or do I have to go there in person? I ask because the State Supreme Court is almost 3 hours away.

This is very complex. I know how to go about it in my state, but it varies from state-to-state. You really should consult a civil rights attorney on this matter since they should be able to better address this.

On this one I am going to put the exact wording of the order.

"Neither the Plaintiff or Defendant shall use, consume or allow a third person to use or consume alcoholic beverages or controlled substances in the presence of the minor child."

First of all, you can not control the actions of another person, so that language is kinda useless. Secondly, it is not illegal to consume alcohol -- even around a child. It appears this Judge is putting his/her beliefs into court orders, which is an abuse of their authority, IMO. If you are out to dinner and the child is with you and you have a glass of wine with your meal, that would put you in contempt. I would appeal/object to this and/or have it amended that neither parent may consume alcohol to the point of intoxication or something like that.

Ok this I can do. So keep the notebook in her bag even though all it is being used for at his house is a drawing tablet for the kiddo?

The communication log is just for that -- communications on the aspect of the well-being of the child between the parents -- not for kiddo to draw in. Get something else for that. Just keep in mind that something does not have to be written each and every time. It seems the Judge has put restrictions on both of you regarding content of your communications between each other.

 

[GrowUp!]

I have been writing down every time i have tried to call her while at his house. My friend's phone is a cell phone but she can print off her call log online, and has gladly offered to do so. She is getting very irritated by all the calls. He has told me he can give me the records more than once, but I will still need to subpoena them huh? I know when it comes to hanging up on me that can be used in a contempt hearing, but, when it comes to her calling him that she can handle through the magistrates? I really want him to leave her alone. It averages 20 calls a day, starting as early as 7am and as late as 11pm.

Ask your ex for phone call records. Also ask your friend about the calls s/he is receiving, although if they are coming up private/blocked, they might not show on your friend's phone, but they would show on the person calling. But it needs to be proven. Your friend would have to file charges against them (i.e. a police report) and possibly going to court to get a restraining order (or whatever it would be called in your state in regards to stalking/harassment).

I thought it was overbearing as well. I did not agree to this at all. In fact, I was a bit offended by this comment. I thought it was common knowledge that a 5 year old can't stay up at all hours of the night.

Appeal this as well. You would have to use case law and/or statutes, but the Judge has no place putting this type of language in the order. Again...if you think long-term for parenting plans, when the child is 14 (providing the plan has not needed to be amended), s/he would have to be in bed, lights out by 8:30pm. Again, judge is placing her/his belief into this ruling. Not their place.

It isn't that I care what he does during his time. It is the fact that if there is an emergency, and he can't be reached, what will happen? I would think any type of child care/daycare would be under the welfare of the child. The driving by thing wasn't like I drove right up into her driveway or anything. I was going down the main road and my daughter said "my sitter when I'm with daddy lives up there" (and she pointed). I have already been told via email that he won't tell me anything so how will I know if something happens to my daughter? This is my concern. Also, since he has not done anything in the ways of insurance, her medical insurance is under my name. He was supposed to switch her onto his insurance last year per child support order. Hope this makes sense.

If you can't reach him, you can't reach him. You leave a message with him. Nobody's available 24/7. Dad's time is HIS time and vice versa for you. Each of you are parents and responsible for the child ON YOUR TIME. If something would by chance happen to the child on HIS time, then he's responsible for telling you. If he doesn't, then you deal with it then.

If he hasn't provided insurance, then take it up with CSEA as that is a separate issue. If CSEA ordered him to provide insurance and he has not, then they need to enforce that aspect of the order.

Again, how do I do this? He put a big "X" through my request and had it returned to me. The clerk of family court told me he looked at the name and put the"X" then said to her, "I'm not even going to read this". It is quite frustrating.

Huh? Then I don't think you filed it correctly. You file it, they schedule a hearing, then you prove your case.

The reason I said that is that he has attempted to claim her for the past 2 years. This past year he got away with it as I did not have to file taxes as I was unable to work at all. The first year he had to pay them back. If I can prove that he claimed her for the past 2 years is that something I should bring to the contempt hearing (if I can ever get it...the hearing that is).

If it's your year to claim the child, then claim the child. If he does and it's not his year, both returns will be flagged by the IRS and a court order will have to be produced. As of now, the IRS is acknowledging court orders (maybe that has changed...LdiJ is the resident tax pro on here about that). But, regardless, that is a violation of the court order and you can file show cause for contempt and there you can ask for the amount equal to what the deduction is for the year, plus attorney's fees and other monetary damages, if applicable. BTW...just because you are not working, that does not mean you do not file a tax return. Unless I am mistaken.

 

[blarg]

Which one was used before? If you appeal the order, you also note a reason for clarification (as in this aspect).

The one downtown was used because he made a HUGE stink about it. He stated via email,

"I will be at the police station downtown by 8am. If you are not there I will call the cops and have you arrested."

My ex is very unwilling to compromise on anything. This is one of the many reasons I said "enough" and split with him. I did not want to get in trouble so I just took the 1/2 drive.

You can not change this. You have to file a separate motion for relocation.

Should I do this now as I am looking for apartments right now? What do I do if the judges either refuses it or asks for a specific address? If I find an apartment outside the city limits I can't exactly say "yes, I want this apartment but you need to wait 90 days to see if the courts allow it". I am really confused on this part.

The school district will not allow it. If they find out, there will be serious problems.

OK!! Don't want to do that then!!

This is very complex. I know how to go about it in my state, but it varies from state-to-state. You really should consult a civil rights attorney on this matter since they should be able to better address this.

Ok. Thanks. *takes out the good ole yellow pages again*

First of all, you can not control the actions of another person, so that language is kinda useless. Secondly, it is not illegal to consume alcohol -- even around a child. It appears this Judge is putting his/her beliefs into court orders, which is an abuse of their authority, IMO. If you are out to dinner and the child is with you and you have a glass of wine with your meal, that would put you in contempt. I would appeal/object to this and/or have it amended that neither parent may consume alcohol to the point of intoxication or something like that.

Well my only fear in that is the fact that it might bite me in the arse. "Why is she asking for this to be changed so she can drink? Is she a drinker?" I really don't know how to word it so it doesn't put that idea in this judge's head.

The communication log is just for that -- communications on the aspect of the well-being of the child between the parents -- not for kiddo to draw in. Get something else for that. Just keep in mind that something does not have to be written each and every time. It seems the Judge has put restrictions on both of you regarding content of your communications between each other.

She does have something else for that. I had written in the notebook again about her medication etc. I think the simple fact that he knew the notebook was in there (court order) and he then allowed her to draw in it was yet another way of him saying I am going to do what I want. This is just my opinion. I know him more than anyone on this forum, so no one can really say yea or nay on that subject lol. (Just had to vent some frustration there )

 

[GrowUp!]

The one downtown was used because he made a HUGE stink about it. He stated via email,

"I will be at the police station downtown by 8am. If you are not there I will call the cops and have you arrested."

My ex is very unwilling to compromise on anything. This is one of the many reasons I said "enough" and split with him. I did not want to get in trouble so I just took the 1/2 drive.

Tell him to take his "threat" and shove it up his ass. You can't be arrested.

Should I do this now as I am looking for apartments right now? What do I do if the judges either refuses it or asks for a specific address? If I find an apartment outside the city limits I can't exactly say "yes, I want this apartment but you need to wait 90 days to see if the courts allow it". I am really confused on this part.

Then you need to consult an attorney.

Well my only fear in that is the fact that it might bite me in the arse. "Why is she asking for this to be changed so she can drink? Is she a drinker?" I really don't know how to word it so it doesn't put that idea in this judge's head.

I have a real serious problem with Judge's who think they can abuse their authority and forcefeed their beliefs -- and I follow Judge's like that here in Ohio. I am a drinker -- a social drinker. So whether you are or the other parent is or not is not relevant. Drinking is not illegal.

 

[blarg]

Ask your ex for phone call records. Also ask your friend about the calls s/he is receiving, although if they are coming up private/blocked, they might not show on your friend's phone, but they would show on the person calling. But it needs to be proven. Your friend would have to file charges against them (i.e. a police report) and possibly going to court to get a restraining order (or whatever it would be called in your state in regards to stalking/harassment).

Ok. This I can do. I am sure my friend will do her part. lol

Appeal this as well. You would have to use case law and/or statutes, but the Judge has no place putting this type of language in the order. Again...if you think long-term for parenting plans, when the child is 14 (providing the plan has not needed to be amended), s/he would have to be in bed, lights out by 8:30pm. Again, judge is placing her/his belief into this ruling. Not their place.

This is going to be one heck of an appeal. This judge seemed VERY biased to me.

If you can't reach him, you can't reach him. You leave a message with him. Nobody's available 24/7. Dad's time is HIS time and vice versa for you. Each of you are parents and responsible for the child ON YOUR TIME. If something would by chance happen to the child on HIS time, then he's responsible for telling you. If he doesn't, then you deal with it then.

If he hasn't provided insurance, then take it up with CSEA as that is a separate issue. If CSEA ordered him to provide insurance and he has not, then they need to enforce that aspect of the order.

Ok that makes sense. If he doesn't tell me when something happens it is on his head, not mine. This means that he can not demand who my child is around either right? He is doing that to me, I have not told him though as he refused to tell me. (I know that sounds childish) I will also put a call into CSEA. We have a hearing coming up this month anyways as he wants the amount reduced. Within a day of receiving the order he made a request for a decrease in support bc of joint custody. This is going to bite him in his butt as he is not claiming his online business as income. (Toldja he was sneaky...lol )

If it's your year to claim the child, then claim the child. If he does and it's not his year, both returns will be flagged by the IRS and a court order will have to be produced. As of now, the IRS is acknowledging court orders (maybe that has changed...LdiJ is the resident tax pro on here about that). But, regardless, that is a violation of the court order and you can file show cause for contempt and there you can ask for the amount equal to what the deduction is for the year, plus attorney's fees and other monetary damages, if applicable. BTW...just because you are not working, that does not mean you do not file a tax return. Unless I am mistaken.

That I can do as well. I was told I did not have to file taxes as my only income is social security. Might be totally wrong there.

 

[blarg]

Tell him to take his "threat" and shove it up his ass. You can't be arrested.

I'm liking your attitude. I have SO wanted to say that to him but I am biting my tongue.

Then you need to consult an attorney.

I'm thinking the same thing.

I have a real serious problem with Judge's who think they can abuse their authority and forcefeed their beliefs -- and I follow Judge's like that here in Ohio. I am a drinker -- a social drinker. So whether you are or the other parent is or not is not relevant. Drinking is not illegal.

He did seem very pushy on HIS beliefs and totally disregarded mine. I should be getting the transcripts fairly soon, so we will go from there.

 

[GrowUp!]

We have a hearing coming up this month anyways as he wants the amount reduced. Within a day of receiving the order he made a request for a decrease in support bc of joint custody. This is going to bite him in his butt as he is not claiming his online business as income. (Toldja he was sneaky...lol )

Not so quick on the online business thing. You have to prove all of that. The CSEA will not do the legwork for you. You have to do your own discovery in this aspect. As far as medical insurance, you need to let them know that he has not provided it, per the order. They will either address it then or deal with it separately.

That I can do as well. I was told I did not have to file taxes as my only income is social security. Might be totally wrong there.

So you did have income. You still need to file a return and, IIRC, can be penalized for not filing one. Again, LdiJ, if she sees this, might clarify this.

 

[blarg]

Not so quick on the online business thing. You have to prove all of that. The CSEA will not do the legwork for you. You have to do your own discovery in this aspect. As far as medical insurance, you need to let them know that he has not provided it, per the order. They will either address it then or deal with it separately.

I can prove it as it is an eBay business and I still have access to the information. He is using the account that is under our names. That I think was not using his brain. He didn't even change the passwords or anything. I will call CSEA today about the medical insurance.

So you did have income. You still need to file a return and, IIRC, can be penalized for not filing one. Again, LdiJ, if she sees this, might clarify this.

*tap, tap*Calling LdiJ I am getting SSI not SSDI, don't know if that makes any difference.

 

[LdiJ]

I can prove it as it is an eBay business and I still have access to the information. He is using the account that is under our names. That I think was not using his brain. He didn't even change the passwords or anything. I will call CSEA today about the medical insurance.



*tap, tap*Calling LdiJ I am getting SSI not SSDI, don't know if that makes any difference.

If someone's only income is social security income, of ANY kind, they are not required to file a tax return, and there would be no point in them doing so. SSI is never taxable income, and SSDI and retirement benefits only become taxable or partially taxable if 1/2 of their social security benefits, plus their other income, is greater than 25k for a single person, and 34k for a married couple.

 

[blarg]

If someone's only income is social security income, of ANY kind, they are not required to file a tax return, and there would be no point in them doing so. SSI is never taxable income, and SSDI and retirement benefits only become taxable or partially taxable if 1/2 of their social security benefits, plus their other income, is greater than 25k for a single person, and 34k for a married couple.

Ok cool. *whew* thought I was in trouble for a sec there. Thank you for clarifying this.

 

[GrowUp!]

If someone's only income is social security income, of ANY kind, they are not required to file a tax return, and there would be no point in them doing so. SSI is never taxable income, and SSDI and retirement benefits only become taxable or partially taxable if 1/2 of their social security benefits, plus their other income, is greater than 25k for a single person, and 34k for a married couple.

Thank you for clarifying that, which is why I "called out" to ya.