Potential problem on the horizon…

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? See my name

Ok, I just started a new job. They are being fairly flexible in that although my shift will be 11am-8pm starting in November, Wednesdays I will be able to work 8-5 in order to get Little Miss Pro Se for the evening. However, I won’t be able to do this on the Fridays of the EOW schedule, so I will be getting home with her about 10pm on Fridays(For those who don’t know, I voluntarily do ALL of the driving in this, even though The Ex is the one who created the distance, just so I know that there won’t be excuses as to why LMPS is always late getting to me). I am going to ask The Ex to bring her to me on those Fridays at 8pm(I work about 1 mile from my house), even though I know that it’s going to go over like a lead balloon.

My next step will be to petition the court to ask that this be changed. I am not even going to be asking for her to pick up 50% of the slack, just 25%, or 1 trip in 4, so I don’t think that it’s an outrageous request that the court won’t consider.

Because I am certain that I will have to take this step, how would I title the Motion? Visitation Modification, correct?

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? See my name

Ok, I just started a new job. They are being fairly flexible in that although my shift will be 11am-8pm starting in November, Wednesdays I will be able to work 8-5 in order to get Little Miss Pro Se for the evening. However, I won’t be able to do this on the Fridays of the EOW schedule, so I will be getting home with her about 10pm on Fridays(For those who don’t know, I voluntarily do ALL of the driving in this, even though The Ex is the one who created the distance, just so I know that there won’t be excuses as to why LMPS is always late getting to me). I am going to ask The Ex to bring her to me on those Fridays at 8pm(I work about 1 mile from my house), even though I know that it’s going to go over like a lead balloon.

My next step will be to petition the court to ask that this be changed. I am not even going to be asking for her to pick up 50% of the slack, just 25%, or 1 trip in 4, so I don’t think that it’s an outrageous request that the court won’t consider.

Because I am certain that I will have to take this step, how would I title the Motion? Visitation Modification, correct?

I have no idea how to word that, but I just want you to know that you are a great dad! (from what I've read)

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? See my name

Ok, I just started a new job. They are being fairly flexible in that although my shift will be 11am-8pm starting in November, Wednesdays I will be able to work 8-5 in order to get Little Miss Pro Se for the evening. However, I won’t be able to do this on the Fridays of the EOW schedule, so I will be getting home with her about 10pm on Fridays(For those who don’t know, I voluntarily do ALL of the driving in this, even though The Ex is the one who created the distance, just so I know that there won’t be excuses as to why LMPS is always late getting to me). I am going to ask The Ex to bring her to me on those Fridays at 8pm(I work about 1 mile from my house), even though I know that it’s going to go over like a lead balloon.

My next step will be to petition the court to ask that this be changed. I am not even going to be asking for her to pick up 50% of the slack, just 25%, or 1 trip in 4, so I don’t think that it’s an outrageous request that the court won’t consider.

Because I am certain that I will have to take this step, how would I title the Motion? Visitation Modification, correct?

Is this definitely going to be your permanent schedule? If so, then I would entitle it "motion to amend visitation transportion". However, if its not going to be a permanent schedule, if there is a possibility that your schedule will change or vary, then you make want to think about the long term rather than just the short term, before you file anything.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I have no idea how to word that, but I just want you to know that you are a great dad! (from what I've read)

I appreciate(sp) the kind words. I am just doing what I wish had been done for me.

Is this definitely going to be your permanent schedule? If so, then I would entitle it "motion to amend visitation transportion". However, if its not going to be a permanent schedule, if there is a possibility that your schedule will change or vary, then you make want to think about the long term rather than just the short term, before you file anything.

LdiJ, as it stands right now, this will be my schedule for the indeterminate future. I'd rather not have to file something to get this change, but can already tell everybody that The Ex won't do this willingly. If for some reason she surprises me and agrees, I'd still like it added to our order(but as a joint motion instead).

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

OK, I am back...

This is now a regular schedule. M, Tu, Th, Fr, 11am-8pm(with a smattering of morning OT to let me get caught up on both my bills and my cases that were taken over from someone who is no longer with the program I work for), and Wednesdays 8am-5pm. There is no room for any extra "early days" for me. I've broached the subject of a little help on the EO friday thing, and all I have gotten in return is a "I don't think my schedule will allow it", even though I know The Ex works no later than 5pm.

I was wrong in my previous post where I said 1 out of 4 as what am asking her to do. It is really 1 out of 6. I will absolutely continue to do the other 5, no sweat. After all, I like actually spending time with Little Miss Pro Se.

Any guesses on odds of prevailing? My personal thought is 80/20, mostly because I have been voluntarily(sp) doing ALL of the transportation for more than 6 years, and the recent(last 16 months or so) have been of increased distance because The Ex moved further away(out of the originating county), not me.

 

[CourtClerk]

You're back!!!

yeah!!!! Guess the prayers to the admin gods have been answered.

Oh... I think the proposal is fair, but i'm partial to you, so maybe i'm biased.

 

[onebreath]

I think it sounds fair too, but don't know all the details.

If mom were to start driving at 5 pm on Friday...is it a horrible commute? If so, I can see her reticence. If not a horrible commute, forget the question.

If a horrible commute, and mom gets daughter back on Sunday afternoon, a possibility is pick up child on Saturday morning, and return child to school on Monday morning. Too many if's I don't know.

No matter what, I think you have good grounds for requesting she help in driving...and while your at it, ask for other driving help, for ex...how does the commute work for Wed night if everyone so far away?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

yeah!!!! Guess the prayers to the admin gods have been answered.

Oh... I think the proposal is fair, but i'm partial to you, so maybe i'm biased.

I'll take your Bias and raise you some RESPECT

And yeah, that was more difficult than it needed to be...

I think it sounds fair too, but don't know all the details.

If mom were to start driving at 5 pm on Friday...is it a horrible commute? If so, I can see her reticence. If not a horrible commute, forget the question.

If a horrible commute, and mom gets daughter back on Sunday afternoon, a possibility is pick up child on Saturday morning, and return child to school on Monday morning. Too many if's I don't know.

No matter what, I think you have good grounds for requesting she help in driving...and while your at it, ask for other driving help, for ex...how does the commute work for Wed night if everyone so far away?

I have Wednesday overnights now, as well as EOW from Friday evening till Monday morning. I am NOT negotiating away 1 second of time. I’ve had to fight waaaaayyy to much to get what I have. I also don't see much to negotiate about.

Your comment about her “reticence” about the commute made me chuckle. Of course she will say it’s too much for her to handle, with various excuses. The commute is ok for ME in her eyes, but not for her. The commute is 30 miles each way(which I do in the heart of rush hour on Wednesdays, and again on Thursday morning, as well as EO Monday morning) and 2+ hours for me. At the time The Ex would be doing it to drop LMPS off at 8pm would be after traffic is over and take 45 minutes each way, tops.

Right now she’s saying she can’t fit it in to her schedule. Of course…

 

[truebluemd]

It seems to me you are also amending the schedule. What is your usual EOW pickup time? If its 6pm, you wont be able to get LMPS until after eight. So whether you or mom are doing the driving, there is a difference it parenting time if you normally pick her up early.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

It seems to me you are also amending the schedule. What is your usual EOW pickup time? If its 6pm, you wont be able to get LMPS until after eight. So whether you or mom are doing the driving, there is a difference it parenting time if you normally pick her up early.

With my old schedule, I was able to pick her up at 5. From February thru the beginnings of August I got her when school closed, or around 3pm over the summer. For the first 90 days at my new job I picked her up at 6pm.

I'm not amending the schedule. And if anything, it would be in The Ex's favor anyhow.

A "later in the evening" exchange would not have any significant effect/affect on my "ProSe/LittleMissProSe" time. Maybe 2 or 3 hours every 2 weeks. Then again, so far that is more than offset by the extra awake time I get with her on school mornings.

 

[truebluemd]

With my old schedule, I was able to pick her up at 5. From February thru the beginnings of August I got her when school closed, or around 3pm over the summer. For the first 90 days at my new job I picked her up at 6pm.

I'm not amending the schedule. And if anything, it would be in The Ex's favor anyhow.

A "later in the evening" exchange would not have any significant effect/affect on my "ProSe/LittleMissProSe" time. Maybe 2 or 3 hours every 2 weeks. Then again, so far that is more than offset by the extra awake time I get with her on school mornings.

Im just saying if you have the order changed it essentially changes the schedule on your fridays, in addition to whoever does the driving.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Pick up time change and "schedule" change are 2 different animals as far as I can tell. Schedule denotes a change in the actual visitation(meaning like Wednesdays to Tuesday or Thursday, or giving up the Friday and picking LMPS up on Saturday). I'd actually be alright with the first example, and actually did that for a time when L'il Sis's dad actually utilized his visitation(that was his schedule), but not the second.

Maybe it's just me, but I am a dad who actually enjoys the whole bedtime/morning ritual thing.

Actually, I'd be happy to stipulate that her doing the EO Friday drive is contingent on my schedule. If it changes, I'd be happy to go back to doing it, as it means that I see LMPS in a timely manner, rather than whenever The Ex decides to show up. She's got more excuses with me than I do with my job...

 

[Isis1]

Pick up time change and "schedule" change are 2 different animals as far as I can tell. Schedule denotes a change in the actual visitation(meaning like Wednesdays to Tuesday or Thursday, or giving up the Friday and picking LMPS up on Saturday). I'd actually be alright with the first example, and actually did that for a time when L'il Sis's dad actually utilized his visitation(that was his schedule), but not the second.

Maybe it's just me, but I am a dad who actually enjoys the whole bedtime/morning ritual thing.

Actually, I'd be happy to stipulate that her doing the EO Friday drive is contingent on my schedule. If it changes, I'd be happy to go back to doing it, as it means that I see LMPS in a timely manner, rather than whenever The Ex decides to show up. She's got more excuses with me than I do with my job...

you know, i think most dads do once they stay involved. my two younger children's father comes over in the morning before work to say good morning (he lives 4 blocks away) and comes by at night just to put his kids down to bed.

mom SHOULD be willing to do that one day you are requesting, i'm just worried the courts will see it as status quo. is this your new schedule forever? or is there room to move it in the future?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

... i'm just worried the courts will see it as status quo...

If that's the case I'll live with it. I'll be doing a 9pm pickup tomorrow, and have already let LMPS know about it. Other than her asking me why "Mommy can't do it?", it is what it is...

 

[truebluemd]

If you are already doing 9pm pickups, then maybe the court will see that as status quo already being set. Im just saying this in case mom fights it. Did she create the distance before or after the last order was issued?