Pulled by hair with uncomfortable question at work

[Daphneastone]

Now I wish that even though there were witnesses, I would have not told anything. I feel like I'm being punished when it wasn't my fault. I did tell because I thought of my kids and would want them to report if something happened to them. And I would have had to hide it from my husband when I should be able to talk with him about it.

 

[quincy]

Yes he is. It has even been said that he is that way due to his time spent. There are many others there that have been through horrible situations in wars that still treat us like humans. I know ptsd cause many issues but does not gives him the right to be a jerk.

You are right. Having PTSD does not excuse the man's behavior. A brain injury might offer some excuse.

It is possible that management is aware of aspects of this veteran's medical history that makes them reluctant to take actions beyond the temporary suspension of privileges.

 

[Daphneastone]

I considered all this. One of my coworkers went to school with him and said that he was the same way even then. Others have said the same.

 

[commentator]

I have to tell you that you have a lot fewer rights, protections and privileges in labor law than you might think before something like this happens to you. And your state is not one that has a lot of extras tacked on to protect workers in any way beyond the bare federal guildelines of EEOC and OSHA. If you wanted to press charges against someone who grabbed you or assaulted you, that would be up to you, as in calling the police to file a complaint (which would only be effective for the most part if it happened very shortly after the incident) and your employer would be perfectly okay to fire you if you had elected to do so. Georgia is an "at will" state, they can fire you "at will." An EEOC complaint would result in a long drawn out decision from them on whether or not you had actually a "right to sue" for EEOC reasons. And then you might be able to sue the restaurant for having subjected you to sexual harassment. (Though in that case, if you were fired or quit immediately after that happened, you'd probably also have a pretty good chance of being eligible for about six months of a very meager amount of unemployment insurance benefits while you were looking for another job.)

And it appears, as far as EEOC issues are concerned, that you complained of the sexual harassment to your employer, and they responded by attempting to settle the matter. That was just what they should have done. Not being able to take others in to the meeting with you (like your furious and glowering husband who might've gone off and shown his temper) seems pretty reasonable to me. And the employer attempted to solve the issue/deal with the situation by banning the client from the restaurant for 60 days. That was an appropriate response on their part, it seems to me. What would you prefer?

It is entirely possible that your attacker/harasser may not live 60 more days, or that he will find another place to go and do his drinking during this time, as he is a free agent also. What you anticipate happening hasn't happened yet, so you can't really complain about it. You did the right thing, and it sounds pretty much to me like it was handled appropriately.

But I think you should think very hard at this point how you think you have been disrespected and what the owner could do that would make things right. They listened to you, they tried to fix what had happened. You could consult with an attorney, see if there's anything they think you could sue the restaurant over, but even if there were some sort of case (which I do not see anywhere in this) it sounds as though you would be trying to destroy something pretty positive, this job for you and your husband which has had significant success.

 

[quincy]

I considered all this. One of my coworkers went to school with him and said that he was the same way even then. Others have said the same.

A police report could be filed if you are not satisfied with the actions taken by management.

It sounds as if management took the path of least resistance, suspending membership and offering protection to employees by having the man removed. It becomes a great deal more complicated when there is police involvement.

It is also possible that there were private discussions between management and the veteran-member whereby he would seek treatment during his suspension to help prevent incidents like you experienced from happening again.

You have some options. You will want to consider all of them carefully before making a decision.

Good luck.

 

[Daphneastone]

I was told that even in court the accused has the right to face the accuser. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want an apology. He admitted that he did it to me so it wasnt a he said she said deal. I felt like i was being put on trial and interrogated. I had already written a signed statement. My husband was afraid that they would try to pressure me or change my words so I would let it go. I got upset becuase of the situation scared that my husband would get fired and I did not want to talk to the man.

 

[quincy]

I was told that even in court the accused has the right to face the accuser. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want an apology. He admitted that he did it to me so it wasnt a he said she said deal. I felt like i was being put on trial and interrogated. I had already written a signed statement. My husband was afraid that they would try to pressure me or change my words so I would let it go. I got upset becuase of the situation scared that my husband would get fired and I did not want to talk to the man.

You appear to have made choices that are best for you and your husband. That is a healthy way to approach the situation.

What you do in the future is up to you.

Good luck.

 

[xylene]

It's gonna be tough, but people are going to not look away over this guy's shenanigans anymore.

He's just a customer. That's not to blow you off, just he's a speck. Take his money. He'll figure out he's not liked.

 

[cbg]

If the board members had taken proper steps to punish him for previous incidents, this could have been prevented.

And if frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their tails when they hop.

I'm asking again, nicely. What additional steps do you believe management should have taken, over and above suspending his membership for 60 days, that would make you feel that they had addressed the situation appropriately?

 

[justalayman]

You should have called the police.

Even if you don’t, what you experienced is illegal sexual harassment. Your employer actually does have an obligation to protect you from unwanted sexual harasssment. If they fail to do so you can file a complaint with the eeoc.

 

[justalayman]

Here's the problem...being "rude" is no illegal. "Disrespecting" you is not illegal.

You should have called the police. Maybe you still should...

no but sexual harassment is illegal and an employer is legally obligated to prevent such actions by third parties within their business environment.

 

[Zigner]

no but sexual harassment is illegal and an employer is legally obligated to prevent such actions by third parties within their business environment.

Yes, and as soon as that happened, they took action.

 

[quincy]

Sexual harassment does not have to be reported to the police. Management was told of the problem and they took an action that (at least temporarily) has resolved the problem. The employees are no longer being assaulted or harassed by the veteran-member.

There are other actions available for Daphne to take, however.

 

[justalayman]

Yes, and as soon as that happened, they took action.

But previously ylu Said this;

Here's the problem...being "rude" is no illegal. "Disrespecting" you is not illegal.

the fact is the op was the subject of a battery (illegal) and sexual harassment (unlawful). I felt your commment was improper. Additionally the op exppressed concern about when the patron returns. Downplaying the sexual harassment aspect of this is a disservice to the op. She does not have to be subjected to such treatment and her employer is obligated to remedy such a situation.

They are also obligated to provide her a safe workspace. If the patron is know to be violent as he was with the op, the employer bears liability for any injury op is subjected to.

I just felt many were blowing off the op and giving her the impression her only option, if she didn’t like the harassment, is to quit.

 

[justalayman]

Sexual harassment does not have to be reported to the police. Management was told of the problem and they took an action that (at least temporarily) has resolved the problem. The employees are no longer being assaulted or harassed by the veteran-member.

There are other actions available for Daphne to take, however.

But op should be aware of her options should the sexual harassment or physical violence reoccur.