question about person moving in with custodial parent

[lopan122]

ohio. My ex wife just told me shes letting a guy move in with her who is the father of her newest child(as far as she knows- her words). my problem is he has in the past had a restraining order on him for allegedly beating his other child and threatening a social worker. Also he hosts a blog where he constantly says the (forgive me im quoting) jews are the problem with everything and attacks black people and Hispanics and posts pics wearing "white pride" shirts. i am scared to death of this guy being around my kid do i have any legal way to keep him away? i am the non custodial parent.

 

[Proserpina]

ohio. My ex wife just told me shes letting a guy move in with her who is the father of her newest child(as far as she knows- her words). my problem is he has in the past had a restraining order on him for allegedly beating his other child and threatening a social worker. Also he hosts a blog where he constantly says the (forgive me im quoting) jews are the problem with everything and attacks black people and Hispanics and posts pics wearing "white pride" shirts. i am scared to death of this guy being around my kid do i have any legal way to keep him away? i am the non custodial parent.

Perhaps unfortunately, parents are allowed (to an enormous degree) to be unbearably obnoxious idiots when it comes to raising their children. The court trusts both parents to make decent decisions - and just as you prefer to not have him around your child, Mom prefers to ignore you. Are you more right than she?

I've got a serious question for you though. What exactly are you trying to accomplish? And while we're here, many convictions does he have?

If you try to force the issue, Mom could very easily get around that by simply marrying the guy.

 

[lopan122]

i want my girl protected from both possible physical harm and white supremest teachings. i know he pled guilty to breaking the restraining order once and that the reason hes moving in is he was in court about something involving him and his roommate,she wouldnt tell me what but i do know he went to court about it but know that hes lost his place to live(read- using her). the baby is 3 months old and hes only around now that he doesnt have a place to be. her mother told me i cant talk to her about it. my daughter even told me he does a radio show in the apt they live in where he spreads his hatred of non whites.

 

[LdiJ]

i want my girl protected from both possible physical harm and white supremest teachings. i know he pled guilty to breaking the restraining order once and that the reason hes moving in is he was in court about something involving him and his roommate,she wouldnt tell me what but i do know he went to court about it but know that hes lost his place to live(read- using her). the baby is 3 months old and hes only around now that he doesnt have a place to be. her mother told me i cant talk to her about it. my daughter even told me he does a radio show in the apt they live in where he spreads his hatred of non whites.

I am entirely sympathetic to how you feel about this situation, but the bottom line is that unless he has convictions that demonstrate that he is dangerous to children, there is very little that you can do.

You can certainly get a consult with a local attorney, who you can provide the evidence you have about the guy, and get his/her take on the situation.

 

[justalayman]

LdiJ;3308687]I am entirely sympathetic to how you feel about this situation, but the bottom line is that unless he has convictions that demonstrate that he is dangerous to children, there is very little that you can do.

even that is not necessarily enough.

I am aware of a situation, in Ohio no less, where the boyfriend was convicted of domestic violence involving his own child. That in itself was not adequate to alter anything regarding custody or visitation of the mother's situation with her children.

 

[Proserpina]

i want my girl protected from both possible physical harm and white supremest teachings. i know he pled guilty to breaking the restraining order once and that the reason hes moving in is he was in court about something involving him and his roommate,she wouldnt tell me what but i do know he went to court about it but know that hes lost his place to live(read- using her). the baby is 3 months old and hes only around now that he doesnt have a place to be. her mother told me i cant talk to her about it. my daughter even told me he does a radio show in the apt they live in where he spreads his hatred of non whites.

You might want to read this thread: https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/racism-grounds-change-custody-317090.html

And if you're really up for it, this is an interesting article (I'd love to read OG's perspective on this - without question there's really nobody else here who can even begin to touch on her experience and what she lives every day she works).

http://www2.law.ucla.edu/volokh/family.pdf

At its simplest, you would be asking the court to trample on someone's Constitutional rights. As distasteful as it is to you, I just cannot see the court ruling in your favor even if you tried to use "best interest".

See where we're coming from?

Edited to add: There have been cases of custody being switched, but these cases involve either direct harm to the child, or are part of a much bigger overall parenting failure.

Edited further because I'm a ditz : I personally feel that we'd be looking at a horribly slippery slope if we start to restrict the most basic of rights. What next? The court can control what we tell our children? Will we be stopped from teaching basic biology because it includes discussions of - oh no! - sex?

 

[Ohiogal]

Do you have shared parenting? How often do you see your child? How old is your child? What religion is your daughter? What religion are you? What is your ethnic background? I have a reason for asking these questions. Have you checked the county website where you live for convictions on him? How far do you live from your child?

 

[lopan122]

i have every other weekend + 1 weekday and half the holidays and time in the summer (standard order of visitation) . both of us christian(new bf is an atheist) . white. <half hour away

 

[lopan122]

i see your point about free speech but he is not my daughters parent in any way, other than he just moved in with them and the racist stuff isn't coming from her mother(at least not right now)

 

[Ohiogal]

i have every other weekend + 1 weekday and half the holidays and time in the summer (standard order of visitation) . both of us christian(new bf is an atheist) . white. <half hour away

Do you have a shared parenting plan as a court order? Standard order of visitation could be part of a shared parenting plan. Or is mom the residential parent legal custodian? Do you exercise all your time? How involved as you with schooling? Have you checked the county website for convictions? How old is your daughter -- I didn't see it but may have missed it.

 

[lopan122]

Do you have a shared parenting plan as a court order? Standard order of visitation could be part of a shared parenting plan. Or is mom the residential parent legal custodian? Do you exercise all your time? How involved as you with schooling? Have you checked the county website for convictions? How old is your daughter -- I didn't see it but may have missed it.

She is residential parent. Yes use all time and then some since her mom always seems to work and has had me have her more and more and is at a babysitters half the time it seems. I do schoolwork and reading with her everytime i have her. all i could find is pleading guilty to violating a protection order but hes moved around alot so i dont know where to look. 9 years old

 

[Ohiogal]

She is residential parent. Yes use all time and then some since her mom always seems to work and has had me have her more and more and is at a babysitters half the time it seems. I do schoolwork and reading with her everytime i have her. all i could find is pleading guilty to violating a protection order but hes moved around alot so i dont know where to look. 9 years old

How much more time have you been getting? For how long? Do you have a ROFR?
Yes I know these are a lot of questions but I am trying to see what options you have.

For him, look at the Ohio Offenders website. It will let you know if he is parole.

 

[lopan122]

sometimes a couple days a week but not always. pretty much all day then alot of times back to the babysitter after. what is an rofr?

 

[Ohiogal]

sometimes a couple days a week but not always. pretty much all day then alot of times back to the babysitter after. what is an rofr?

Right of first refusal. If mom cannot be with the child, she would have to offer you the chance to have your child before a babysitter.