Questions about visits

[mnmom]

Ok, so now that you've all managed to voice your opinions regarding op's OTHER post, do any of you actally have any LEGAL advice for her???

Thanks...this is advice about handling a situation other than a dui. I don't know where you all come from but around here dui's are common and do not make everyone an alcoholic, druggie, or a bad parent. Now can we please get back to the original post.

 

[Noelle_71]

Thanks...this is advice about handling a situation other than a dui. I don't know where you all come from but around here dui's are common and do not make everyone an alcoholic, druggie, or a bad parent. Now can we please get back to the original post.

Yes. Ask your pediatrician to recommend a good therapist and have the therapist work with your daughter on adjustment issues. Worked for mine.

 

[AHA]

around here dui's are common and do not make everyone an alcoholic, druggie, or a bad parent.

ONE dui might not make an alcoholic or a druggie, but it's unacceptable actions for a parent. If drunk driving is so acceptable where you live, your child needs to grow up somewhere else.
Having a "alleged" absent father isn't going to kill your child, but a drunk driver will, especially if they are so common in your area.

Like you suggested yourself, keep a log of what promises dad has not kept and reassure the kid that it's not her fault. That's all you can do.

 

[ceara19]

Thanks...this is advice about handling a situation other than a dui. I don't know where you all come from but around here dui's are common and do not make everyone an alcoholic, druggie, or a bad parent. Now can we please get back to the original post.

Thank you for that information. I will be sure to stay of the roads in your area since they are apparently full of drunk drivers.

 

[AHA]

since they are apparently full of drunk drivers.

Imagine if all crimes were excused by "but everyone else on my street is committing them, so why shouldn't I get to do it too and get away with it"?
Scary that some people think that crimes that could kill people are ok because so many in one area is committing them. Like that makes risking innocent people's lives ok.

 

[ceara19]

Imagine if all crimes were excused by "but everyone else on my street is committing them, so why shouldn't I get to do it too and get away with it"?
Scary that some people think that crimes that could kill people are ok because so many in one area is committing them. Like that makes risking innocent people's lives ok.

Go out, get loaded and throw in the Minnesota winters with the icy roads and it's more fun then Disnyland!

 

[NotSoNew]

so your ex is just coming back into her life now? hmmmm, maybe he found out about your DUIs and doesnt feel you are a fit mom!

 

[mnmom]

Thanks for the real advice that some of you gave me...as for the rest of you, this is a legal forum for those who wish to seek advice. My stupid mistake has nothing to do with visitations for my daughter. I am not a bad person or an unfit mother for going out with a friend and making a stupid mistake. You live you learn, as I intend fully to accept my actions, take full responsibility, and deal with those consequences. I came to this particular forum to ask advice from professionals or those who may have been in simular situations about how to handle a situation for my daughter. If you are not here to give advice or get advice I think you may be on the wrong website...try AOL or yahoo. You can defame plenty of characters there.

 

[stealth2]

Exactly what is it you're concerned about with your daughter? That was never really clear.

 

[mnmom]

Well she has started to visit with her dad. she hasn't known him since she was a baby. Things are going very well. she doesn't seem to be overconcerned, however there may be some confusion there. I was wondering if anyone had any advice about that. Also her dad has a history of taking off or not seeing any of his children for long periods of time. As the single unwed mother of this child this worrys me. I do not know what my rights may be since there was a visitaion order in place when she was a baby. Also what kinds of things I may want to do or document in case something may come up in the future?

 

[stealth2]

What sort of confusion? That's the part I'm not getting.

WRT the order for visitation, you pretty much have to follow it, unless you and Dad agree to deviations.

As for documentation... I'd start with how consistent he is in seeing her. Also whether she's unduly upset (note that separation anxiety is normal, and some tears or other emotional-type reaction on going or returning is not abnormal) by seeing him. That he doesn't see his other kids for periods of time is really irrelevant wrt this child.

 

[mnmom]

Thanks for your advice. The confusion I meant that she never really had a dad but now he is here. She has chosen to jump right in. Which is ok..I think. Should I be concerned?

 

[stealth2]

I wouldn't be - it's great that she's taken to it so well.

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? MN
Hello my child is 4. She has only met her father once since she was a baby. We had a court order visitations then. I'm glad he wants to see her. She was excited to meet him. Now she is stuck on it and seemingly confused. I have concerns about the future as well. Does anyone have any ideas as far as helping her and should I document things or something in case something goes wrong agian? I have no ideas as far as what I can do as the single unwed mother.

Does anyone have any ideas as far as helping her and should I document things or something in case something goes wrong agian?


You're ignoring the elephant in the living room.

If you do not get help for your problem, you will not and cannot help her.

 

[mnmom]

You know for a judge you sure are judgemental and unprofessional. Thanks for you're advice stealth.