Relation over but child on way. Need advice

[Proserpina]

Which is what I said - but without your obnoxious attitude.



I suppose that if your whole life is wrapped up in your own selfish desires, that would make some sense.

OTOH, there's a child involved. A child needs food, shelter, clothing, education, health care, and so on. Why shouldn't both parents be responsible for that? After all, there is birth control available for either party. And, failing that, they could always choose to not have sex if they didn't want to deal with the consequences.

Really, misto - there you go again, showing such common sense!

How dare you?!

 

[Wyldrush]

He DOESN'T know he is the father, really. I would recommend that a DNA test establish paternity before you sign that birth certificate ... you only have a very short time after you sign to argue against it.


Po one gets to drop a 6 lb unwanted kid out of her insides ... Just my opinion ...

I really do not feel I need a DNA test. Yes we broke up. Yes we were still having sex after the break up. She was always irregular so her time of month never came on a set schedule.

If we were together I would not question the child so I feel I do not have to now.

Did any of your dads have a DAN test when your wife had a child? Married woman can stray the same way.

 

[CJane]

I really do not feel I need a DNA test. Yes we broke up. Yes we were still having sex after the break up. She was always irregular so her time of month never came on a set schedule.

If we were together I would not question the child so I feel I do not have to now.

Did any of your dads have a DAN test when your wife had a child? Married woman can stray the same way.

No one is suggesting a DNA test in an effort to question HER loyalty or YOUR honor. Only to impress upon you that as an unmarried potential father to be, you have the RIGHT and the option to know for sure that the child is yours biologically before the child becomes yours legally. Married fathers/fathers to be do not have that option, as they are presumed to be the father of any child born during the marriage (and within a period of time after the marriage ends as well).

 

[Isis1]

I really do not feel I need a DNA test. Yes we broke up. Yes we were still having sex after the break up. She was always irregular so her time of month never came on a set schedule.

If we were together I would not question the child so I feel I do not have to now.

Did any of your dads have a DAN test when your wife had a child? Married woman can stray the same way.

Keep in mind, that is your legal choice. We'd be remiss in our duty of education that you have an option to get a DNA test before accepting full legal responsibility. I honestly don't know why they don't make DNA testing an option at every birth. My thinking? You can't ever use "is that really my kid" against me in an argument. If you do, argument is over and I win. But I think oddly.

 

[mistoffolees]

I really do not feel I need a DNA test. Yes we broke up. Yes we were still having sex after the break up. She was always irregular so her time of month never came on a set schedule.

If we were together I would not question the child so I feel I do not have to now.

Did any of your dads have a DAN test when your wife had a child? Married woman can stray the same way.

Like court orders, DNA tests protect everyone. How would you feel if 5 years down the road, someone pops up and says he's the Dad? More importantly, how disruptive do you think that would be for the child?

Spend some time reading this forum to see how much pain and confusion that causes. And it's not alway due to infidelity. There was one recent thread where a woman was raped and became pregnant - and never told Dad.

 

[davidmcbeth3]

Why shouldn't both parents be responsible for that? After all, there is birth control available for either party. And, failing that, they could always choose to not have sex if they didn't want to deal with the consequences.

Because it is the woman who determines if the fetus moves on to birth; men have no say in this....so if women want to "own" their fetuses then let them own it 100%.

I did see that you noted that he should have a DNA test .. I added some more information ..

So, we are in complete agreement.

 

[Proserpina]

Because it is the woman who determines if the fetus moves on to birth; men have no say in this...

And yet, it's the man who has COMPLETE control about when and where his little soldiers are sent off for duty...

Funny, that.

 

[davidmcbeth3]

And yet, it's the man who has COMPLETE control about when and where his little soldiers are sent off for duty...

Funny, that.

I'm a vet darling ... you do not want to know what I did in the service to other little soldiers on the opposing forces. I had no complaints about my orders...you know what you could be in for when you enlist.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm a vet darling ... you do not want to know what I did in the service to other little soldiers on the opposing forces. I had no complaints about my orders...you know what you could be in for when you enlist.

I had no idea you were faced with opposing little soldiers.

That might, however, explain your perspective here tonight...

 

[davidmcbeth3]

I had no idea you were faced with opposing little soldiers.

That might, however, explain your perspective here tonight...

I'm certain that the value you place on human life is vastly different than the value I place on human life ... chalk it up to different life experiences.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm certain that the value you place on human life is vastly different than the value I place on human life ... chalk it up to different life experiences.

Epic Fail.

Did you ever miss the point...!

 

[Isis1]

Biology is not the main factor in deciding CS issues in court ... once you are established as the father & find out, say 1-10yrs later via a DNA test, that you are not ... then claim all the biology lessons you want, the court will ignore the biological information and make the man still pay child support.

Until the law starts treating the fathers as equals from conception and on, then my viewpoint will not change. Having a baby is currently a choice in the US and the male has zero say in it...so why should he have to pay?

And biologically speaking, the fetus is part of our homo sapien species upon conception. So we sanction the killing of members of our own species .. hummm, I wonder why. Go check the history of the procedure & you'll find out why. You will not be amused.

That is such hockey puck. The man decides to have a baby the second his penis gets into the vagina. THAT is the beginning of his choice.

 

[mistoffolees]

That is such hockey puck. The man decides to have a baby the second his penis gets into the vagina. THAT is the beginning of his choice.

Or, more accurately, he assumes the risk of having a baby. At that point, he has decided that the immediate pleasure is more important to him than the risk of having a baby. Birth control reduces the risk, but does not eliminate it.

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm a vet darling ... you do not want to know what I did in the service to other little soldiers on the opposing forces. I had no complaints about my orders...you know what you could be in for when you enlist.

Just like you know there is the fact that having sex causes pregnancy.

 

[CJane]

Just like you know there is the fact that having sex causes pregnancy.

Who says love isn't war?