Relocation out of state and visitation

[1MOdad]

While not something I would necessarily do...having 3 guests that were drunk spend the night rather than potentially drunk drive is not legally an issue. It doesn't mean she was having a "gang bang" either.

Understood

 

[Just Blue]

It's a non-starter - really.

Based on what's been posted...I agree.

 

[1MOdad]

It's a non-starter - really.

Ok thanks for the perspective

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

If your ex got you to agree to have a separate room for your child when you negotiated the custody change why didn't you require the same of her? Especially given your ongoing concerns.

 

[1MOdad]

If your ex got you to agree to have a separate room for your child when you negotiated the custody change why didn't you require the same of her? Especially given your ongoing concerns.

The custody change is just now being negotiated and I was just told what the living situation would be this morning. It is all very recent changes that aren't completed.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Then now would certainly be the time to negotiate it.

 

[LdiJ]

Current state is Missouri. Ok so here is the situation, currently my former spouse and I share 50/50 custody and she is choosing to relocate from KC, Missouri to Boise, ID. She is leaving our daughter with me and has agreed to allow me to be custodial parent. I will have our daughter through the school year with her having visitation over the summer. Here is my concern....she has chosen to rent a studio apartment in downtown Boise (not due to budgetary restrictions). I'm worried about my daughter having her own space and the potential for being exposed to over night visitors. I completely support visitation and want her to spend time with her mom but I'm wondering if I could require her to have her own room? Having her own room at my house was a stipulation of her mother giving me custody. Any insight is appreciated.

Do you honestly think that mom would have an overnight guest, living in a studio, when your daughter is present? Just because she COULD do it doesn't mean that she WOULD.

In addition, it makes sense for the child to have a separate bedroom in your house because she will be there the majority of the time. It is less critical for the child to have a separate bedroom in mom's house because she will be primarily living in yours.

In any case, only a judge could require mom to have a second bedroom for the child. You cannot make that requirement on your own. Mom couldn't have required you to do it either without a judges order or your agreement.

 

[1MOdad]

Do you honestly think that mom would have an overnight guest, living in a studio, when your daughter is present? Just because she COULD do it doesn't mean that she WOULD.

In addition, it makes sense for the child to have a separate bedroom in your house because she will be there the majority of the time. It is less critical for the child to have a separate bedroom in mom's house because she will be primarily living in yours.

In any case, only a judge could require mom to have a second bedroom for the child. You cannot make that requirement on your own. Mom couldn't have required you to do it either without a judges order or your agreement.

Yes I honestly think she would given her history. If I didn't think she would I wouldn't be worried about it and wouldn't have asked the question. I'm asking to get clarification on what can or can't be done based on my concerns.

 

[Zigner]

Earlier in the thread you said this:

I can't say yes or no but only that the potential exists.

Once the answers didn't go the way you wanted, you said this:

Yes I honestly think she would given her history. If I didn't think she would I wouldn't be worried about it and wouldn't have asked the question. I'm asking to get clarification on what can or can't be done based on my concerns.

Just sayin'

 

[LdiJ]

Yes I honestly think she would given her history. If I didn't think she would I wouldn't be worried about it and wouldn't have asked the question. I'm asking to get clarification on what can or can't be done based on my concerns.

If she won't agree, then you would have to convince a judge to order that she have two bedrooms instead of a studio. Its really iffy that a judge would order it. You also don't want to end up with a contested custody case if you can avoid it. She is agreeing to give you primary custody and that is a big thing. The odds would be in your favor if a judge had to decide, but nothing is ever guaranteed.

 

[Just Blue]

Earlier in the thread you said this:



Once the answers didn't go the way you wanted, you said this:



Just sayin'

It actually doesn't matter which is true...the answer is the same.

 

[Zigner]

The odds would be in your favor if a judge had to decide, but nothing is ever guaranteed.

I totally disagree. Absent some proven potential for harm to the child that would be caused by mom only having a studio apartment, the judge is not going to order mom to get a bigger place for summer visitation. Dad's concerns are (as he admitted) purely speculative.

 

[LdiJ]

I totally disagree. Absent some proven potential for harm to the child that would be caused by mom only having a studio apartment, the judge is not going to order mom to get a bigger place for summer visitation. Dad's concerns are (as he admitted) purely speculative.

When I said that the odds would be in his favor I was talking about what might happen if he ended up in a contested custody case. I wasn't talking about the bedroom issue then. I am sorry if that was unclear.

 

[Zigner]

When I said that the odds would be in his favor I was talking about what might happen if he ended up in a contested custody case. I wasn't talking about the bedroom issue then. I am sorry if that was unclear.

Ok, gotcha.

 

[Just Blue]

If she won't agree, then you would have to convince a judge to order that she have two bedrooms instead of a studio. Its really iffy that a judge would order it. You also don't want to end up with a contested custody case if you can avoid it. She is agreeing to give you primary custody and that is a big thing. The odds would be in your favor if a judge had to decide, but nothing is ever guaranteed.

Actually as Mom moved out of state, her agreeing to Dad having PC is not a "big thing". That concession saved Mom thousands in legal fees in a likely to lose anyway move away court case.