Requirment to provide an ex spouse with current relationship information

[Jmana]

What is the name of your state? NC

My GF's ex husband is requesting she give him my address, full name, and birth date. I am against this because he has a history of domestic abuse, and he lied to the parent coordinator in order to get this info. He claimed her children spend nights at my house, but that is not true. And I've only spent time with her kids 5 times in 9 months. The parent coordinator is demanding the info today, is there anything we can do in this situation?? Is there any appeal process for demands from a parent coordinator, or are they given power that supersedes that of the law?

 

[Zigner]

There's nothing that YOU can do.

 

[cbg]

Does she have a court order that requires she provide him with this information?

No?

Then she can tell him to pound sand.

Note - IF he goes to court and gets such an order, she will have to comply.

 

[t74]

Your GF needs to decide what to do based on the court order (as was just posted while I am typing).

I will add that if she is not required to do so and provides it over your objection, you need to rethink your relationship. Read the forum about what you are getting yourself into. There are numerous discussions about problems with exs, visitation and new significant others. Be informed so you know your rights and responsibilities - especially with regard to the children who are the most important people in this entire situation.

A high conflict relationship over children is expensive financially and emotionally so you need to be prepared.

 

[xylene]

Find a relationship with someone who, well if they aren't a train wreck, someone who isn't still dealing with a train wreck in their past.

"honey, you don't have to give him my information, because we are done."

 

[Jmana]

Does she have a court order that requires she provide him with this information?

No?

Then she can tell him to pound sand.

Note - IF he goes to court and gets such an order, she will have to comply.

The court order doesn't specify this, however what it does say is the parent coordinator has permission to make any directive/decision regarding a SO when children are involved

 

[stealth2]

Then your SO should consult with her attorney as to what her obligations are wrt the PC.

 

[Jmana]

Then your SO should consult with her attorney as to what her obligations are wrt the PC.

She talked to her custody attorney and she was told she needs to comply, but what about my rights?? He lied and said they sleep over at my house, which isn't true at all. With his violent history I'm afraid I'll come home to a house on fire one night.

 

[stealth2]

She talked to her custody attorney and she was told she needs to comply, but what about my rights?? He lied and said they sleep over at my house, which isn't true at all. With his violent history I'm afraid I'll come home to a house on fire one night.

You are not obligated by her court order - she is. If I were in her shoes? I'd do what my lawyer told me. If I were in yours? I'd find a new g/f. For real.

 

[Just Blue]

The court order doesn't specify this, however what it does say is the parent coordinator has permission to make any directive/decision regarding a SO when children are involved

So...this relationship is 9 months old? If I were you I would consider what direction this relationship is going. If it is serious (like you may get married one day serious)...give the info. If not...perhaps it's time to split.

 

[cbg]

I told you up front; if this is required by the court, she has to comply. If her attorney has said that this falls under the order, then it does.

 

[xylene]

One more note, this sometimes shocks people, but where you live is not a secret.

 

[t74]

I am concerned, OP, that you are concerned for your safety on such a young relationship. It will not get better with a wack-a-doodle SO's EX.

Have you done a background check on his criminal history to see if he has a history of violence or stalking? If so, it is likely time to go.

 

[Jmana]

One more note, this sometimes shocks people, but where you live is not a secret.

He doesn't know my last name so he doesn't.

 

[Jmana]

I am concerned, OP, that you are concerned for your safety on such a young relationship. It will not get better with a wack-a-doodle SO's EX.

Have you done a background check on his criminal history to see if he has a history of violence or stalking? If so, it is likely time to go.

He doesn't have a record because she didn't file a report on him because she had newborn twins and had no idea what to do. But I spoke to her old neighbors who confirmed to me that he indeed tried to strangle her, which is good enough for me to not want him knowing my address.