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Requirment to provide an ex spouse with current relationship information

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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
He doesn't have a record because she didn't file a report on him because she had newborn twins and had no idea what to do. But I spoke to her old neighbors who confirmed to me that he indeed tried to strangle her, which is good enough for me to not want him knowing my address.
Well, then you know your options.
 


xylene

Senior Member
First name and a couple of points of information and I could find out where someone lived with good accuracy just from the internet.

That's not even considering good 'ol fashioned leg work.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
He doesn't have a record because she didn't file a report on him because she had newborn twins and had no idea what to do. But I spoke to her old neighbors who confirmed to me that he indeed tried to strangle her, which is good enough for me to not want him knowing my address.
That isn't evidence. He has no record and therefore maybe your SO doesn't have a leg to stand on. She either reveals your address or she could lose custody.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? NC

My GF's ex husband is requesting she give him my address, full name, and birth date. I am against this because he has a history of domestic abuse, and he lied to the parent coordinator in order to get this info. He claimed her children spend nights at my house, but that is not true. And I've only spent time with her kids 5 times in 9 months. The parent coordinator is demanding the info today, is there anything we can do in this situation?? Is there any appeal process for demands from a parent coordinator, or are they given power that supersedes that of the law?
Based on what he is asking for I suspect that he wants the information so that he can run a background check on you. I think that your girlfriend should tell the parent coordinator that the children have only seen you 5 times in 9 months, and have never slept at your house. She should also tell her that you do not want your personal information given to her
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Based on what he is asking for I suspect that he wants the information so that he can run a background check on you. I think that your girlfriend should tell the parent coordinator that the children have only seen you 5 times in 9 months, and have never slept at your house. She should also tell her that you do not want your personal information given to her
And then mom can face losing custody. Isn't that cool? Mom must cooperate with the parenting coordinator. And why do you assume the PC is female?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Let's bottom-line it here: The woman's attorney told her she needs to turn over the information. We can't second-guess that woman's attorney. If the OP doesn't like it, then the OP needs to extricate himself/herself from the situation, but even if s/he does break up with the woman, it's still entirely possible that the information will need to be provided.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Let's bottom-line it here: The woman's attorney told her she needs to turn over the information. We can't second-guess that woman's attorney. If the OP doesn't like it, then the OP needs to extricate himself/herself from the situation, but even if s/he does break up with the woman, it's still entirely possible that the information will need to be provided.
It started off with the parenting coordinator and then her attorney told her she needs to comply. However, in reality she does not need to comply until or unless a judge orders her to provide the information. The OP could intervene in any hearing regarding this since its his information that would be revealed. With the guy's violent past I am uncertain whether a judge would or wouldn't order that the OP's information be revealed to the guy.
 
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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
It started off with the parenting coordinator and then her attorney told her she needs to comply. However, in reality she does not need to comply until or unless a judge orders her to provide the information. The OP could intervene in any hearing regarding this since its his information that would be revealed. With the guy's violent past I am uncertain whether a judge would or wouldn't order that the OP's information be revealed to the guy.
Ahh, I see that you are now in a position to second-guess that woman's attorney. I'm sure that you have tons more information about it than the attorney, right?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I suspect that if OP's g/f forces a court to order her to provide the requested info, she will also be forced to pay legal fees (ex's lawyer, court fees, etc.). I would urge her to consider if it's worth it. I'd urge OP to consider if the drama is worth the relationship.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
It started off with the parenting coordinator and then her attorney told her she needs to comply. However, in reality she does not need to comply until or unless a judge orders her to provide the information. The OP could intervene in any hearing regarding this since its his information that would be revealed. With the guy's violent past I am uncertain whether a judge would or wouldn't order that the OP's information be revealed to the guy.
Perhaps you missed this:

The court order doesn't specify this, however what it does say is the parent coordinator has permission to make any directive/decision regarding a SO when children are involved

The judge has already, effectively, ordered it.
 

NoKids4Me

Junior Member
Perhaps a workable solution would be to explain to the PC exactly why OP doesn't want the ex to have this information while offering to provide the information to the PC, so that he/she can run the background check.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
It started off with the parenting coordinator and then her attorney told her she needs to comply. However, in reality she does not need to comply until or unless a judge orders her to provide the information. The OP could intervene in any hearing regarding this since its his information that would be revealed. With the guy's violent past I am uncertain whether a judge would or wouldn't order that the OP's information be revealed to the guy.
Legally speaking, what violent past? The girlfriend never reported anything to the police. On the record, there is no evidence of Dad having a violent past.

Unless and until Dad does something that deems reporting to the police, the judge would be remiss to give much weight to the johnny-come-lately allegation(s), especially since none of those alleged incidents included threats to OP.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Perhaps a workable solution would be to explain to the PC exactly why OP doesn't want the ex to have this information while offering to provide the information to the PC, so that he/she can run the background check.
1: Not the PC's job.
2: The PC has already made a decision in the matter.
 

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