I hear you, I promise. So should I agree to dissolve it or let her waste money on a lawyer?There is no giving it "back" - the money is hers, legally speaking. If you push this, you could easily be required to pay even more of the money to her directly.
I'm sorry you aren't getting this, and I think that you really have no desire to hear the answers you are hearing vs. the answers you'd like to hear. Go speak to an attorney.