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Should I Hire a Lawyer?

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There is no giving it "back" - the money is hers, legally speaking. If you push this, you could easily be required to pay even more of the money to her directly.

I'm sorry you aren't getting this, and I think that you really have no desire to hear the answers you are hearing vs. the answers you'd like to hear. Go speak to an attorney.
I hear you, I promise. So should I agree to dissolve it or let her waste money on a lawyer?


Obvious Observer
Also...my wife knows I'm still angry about the $1,300 and she is begging me for a dissolution however I told her via e-mail that one of my minimum requirements is the $1,300 and she refused to give it back. So I know her fear will lead her to get a lawyer so wouldn't it cheaper for her to give my money back than hire a lawyer? My wife is poor at providing examples and proof as well as debating so I know she won't represent herself.
Who cares?

You are DIVORCING. You are dividing your assets. You should focus more on your costs than hers.

And if she retains a lawyer, that lawyer might go after the $700, legal fees, and heavens knows what else - and win!

Your misguided conduct indicates that if she lawyers up, you're toast without one. You'd irk a judge all by your lonesome enough that, in spite of the brevity of your marriage, she'd get alimony!


After you are finished, sit down and reflect on what you should have learned about love and life from this experience so you are smarter next time. It might also be worthwhile to see a counselor to help you get over the anger and disappointment that you are obviously experiencing so you can put all of this behind you. I know from experience that anger and disappointment in relationships want you to prove you are right even if it takes the legal process to do so but it is not worth it emotionally or financially. Best wishes for the future.


Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio.

We rent and don't have major assets besides vehicles, a joint savings account, and her 401k ($20,000). I make close to $60k a year and she makes close to 40k a year. She has about $30k in student debt and I have none.

Okay so I'm going to try to make this short...

My wife and I got married two and a half years ago. I think that she is a sneaky compulsive liar that only cares about herself and money and she thinks I am controlling. As expected, we disagree on those interpretations of each other. So in early May, we had a heated argument that took place in an empty parking garage. She sped home after the argument, grabbed a few things and left me. She claims that doesn't feel safe although I have never laid hands on her or threatened her. If everyone abandoned their home after getting yelled at for 10 seconds then everyone in America would be homeless! I was very angry at first, but apologized only to learn she wants to permanently separate...

So more time passes, we start texting and calling each other a week or so later and become cordial. She then starts separating her bank accounts, credit cards, and bills from me and our household although her name is on the lease. In the midst of this, she verbally agreed to transfer me all of my contributions in our joint savings into my new personal account ($4,000) and this is when things get messy. Days go by and I notice that I don't see a deposit so I call the bank and they tell me that I will see the deposit tomorrow, but the amount they saw coming through was only $2,700...so I text my wife and she has the NERVE to try to fool me like there was only $2,700 in the account so when I began getting more aggressive with questions, she changes her tune and says that she subtracted $1,300 for her HOUSING COSTS. She was staying with her Uncle when she texted me this and now she is living in an extended stay hotel so she fabricated the whole thing.

I was red hot about that, but eventually I somewhat got over it and we became cordial again. Once we became cordial again, I told her that due to my safety, I am having the locks changed on our apartment so she needs to arrange a time with me for me to let her in to retrieve her things to which she agrees. I also proposed a dissolution and property/debt dissolution because I was ready to get away from this woman. Two weeks later she calls me at work yelling that she can't get into our place (WHICH I TOLD HER 2 WEEKS AGO THAT THE LOCKS HAVE BEEN CHANGED). So I leave work, come home, and her explain to her and her uncle that it's not a good time right now because I have to go back to work and the apartment was a mess. It would have taken her a minimum of two hours to get her things! So while explaining to her that she needs to arrange a time, her uncle begins recording me on video to make it look like I was denying her entry. The police then show up and chose not to exacerbate the situation so I still have possession of her personal belongings as well as documented proof of my attempts to arrange a time! It's like they conspired to make me look crazy on video.

I then get a call from one of her ex-criminal cousins attempting to intimidate and threaten me about her getting her belongings which I also have documented.

So I skipped the dissolution and filed for divorce right after this video incident.

Should I hire a lawyer or represent myself in court? I really don't want to go into debt over this and we don't have any major assets together, but I would like my $1,300 back and everything we agreed to in the previous dissolution.
If you want to look like the good guy in front of the judge, and have a chance at the judge ordering her to repay the $1300.00 then you had best make sure that she gets ALL of her stuff, if you have to pack it up and deliver it to her yourself. You changed the locks on the marital residence. Not only that, but she is on the lease. That's a big no-no.
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