Sole Custody

[Antigone*]

Seriously - I see nothing here to justify sole custody.

Get used to co-parenting and the joys of joint custody!

Time to focus!

Definitely. Hey pro baby, you missed the fun earlier. We missed you.

 

[LdiJ]

I get a normal amount of sleep Sunday night - Thursday night/Friday Am. It's only Saturday and Sunday that I get so little sleep. I only work Friday night and Saturday night.

I wasn't trying to whine/complain - I was just trying to explain why spouse has been "ok" to watch the child while I've been at work.

I don't mind our schedule or the fact that spouse contributes little. I love my child and would be happy to provide 24/7 care. However, one of us has to have an income, and as spouse's work (musical career) doesn't yet pay, the responsibility falls on me. This is the best arrangement I can find - allows me to be as close to a stay-at-home parent as possible.

If sole custody isn't a possibility, is it likely I would have primary custody?

And could I request that spouse visit child either at my residence or neutral territory until spouse obtains a place to live? (Spouse is contemplating staying with friends until move to NY or CA ... friends' are documented drug users and one friend has to register as known sex offender for molesting a child.) If spouse lives with such friends, would a request like that be reasonable?

What sort of visitation schedule is reasonable for a 5 month old child? Child is not breast-fed, if that makes any difference.

Do a google search for standard visitation plans for your state.

 

[sometwo]

If sole custody isn't a possibility, is it likely I would have primary custody?

And could I request that spouse visit child either at my residence or neutral territory until spouse obtains a place to live? (Spouse is contemplating staying with friends until move to NY or CA ... friends' are documented drug users and one friend has to register as known sex offender for molesting a child.) If spouse lives with such friends, would a request like that be reasonable?

It sounds to me as you both have equal shots

Also when you divorce you not longer get to control spouse's life. Which includes where they stay etc. Now you can request anything you want but doesn't mean your gonna get it or a judge will grant it.

By choosing to have a child with this person you therefore chose this person was responsible enough to be the parent to your child. You therefore showed that they should be trusted with all responsibilities, judgments and decisions of said child. You will not have all the control . In fact you won't get to ultimately decide many things. It will most likely be joint. Get use to the idea that you dont get to decide.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX



I have a stable income (I make $4,200 a month after taxes/benefits). I provide all of our benefits.

I only work Friday night and Saturday night.

Wish I had a job that paid me $4,200 a month after taxes and only required me to work two 12 hr shifts per week...sigh

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Maybe I missed something, but OP works 2 nights a week and makes $4200 a month after taxes and benes?

Can I get a job there???

 

[AngieO'Plasty]

Yes I chose to have child with spouse. However, certain facets of spouse's life were totally unknown to me until about 2 days ago. (things like the pornography, long-term affairs, one night stands, friends with drug habits, friends with criminal backgrounds, etc.)

Spouse has been quite good at maintaining 2 separate lives until now. None of the affair partners knew spouse was married (until 2 days ago), just as I knew nothing of the affair partners.

Now, however, I just want to do what is best for child. Spouse has shown very little interest in parenting child, which, coupled with spouse's second life, makes me feel like I'd be more suitable for child.

However, if sole custody wont' happen, it wont' happen. We will make the best of it. I doubt spouse will utilize much visitation anyways, as child is too much work and too demanding for spouse, with spouse's level of stress and need to focus on career.

 

[AngieO'Plasty]

Yes, I'm part of a very special program with my company. But agreeing to work every single weekend (Friday night and saturday night), I get paid for a third day of work without having to actually work those hours. Plus, I still get the weekend and night shift differentials. Essentially this new position has doubled my salary. Now, if I call in sick, I either have to pick up another shift during the week or I don't get paid for the third shift. I also don't get to take vacation, except once a year. So, there are a few downsides, but mostly benefits. Some places call this "the Baylor plan" because Baylor hospital was the first to come up with it here in TX.

 

[sometwo]

Yes, I'm part of a very special program with my company. But agreeing to work every single weekend (Friday night and saturday night), I get paid for a third day of work without having to actually work those hours. Plus, I still get the weekend and night shift differentials. Essentially this new position has doubled my salary. Now, if I call in sick, I either have to pick up another shift during the week or I don't get paid for the third shift. I also don't get to take vacation, except once a year. So, there are a few downsides, but mostly benefits. Some places call this "the Baylor plan" because Baylor hospital was the first to come up with it here in TX.

Our hospital use to do this but I think they've gotten rid of it now.

 

[kimberlywrites]

If OP is the Male "spouse" and mom is the female "spouse," male "spouse" might consider a paternity test.

 

[Gail in Georgia]

OP, you've just recently learned of spouses habits (2 days ago) and, understandably, are highly pissed about this. However, said spouse has been doing this for a while now and your 5 month old child hasn't suffered from this.

I'd imagine you're not thinking quite clearly at the moment. While you claim you want what is best for the child, what you'd really like is to wipe said spouse out of the lives of both you and the child.

That's not likely to happen. Review what the senior members have provided to you.

Gail

 

[jbowman]

If OP is the Male "spouse" and mom is the female "spouse," male "spouse" might consider a paternity test.

Or an STD test. eesh

 

[kimberlywrites]

Or an STD test. eesh

With an extra long q-tip

 

[CSO286]

With an extra long q-tip

EEEEWWWWW!!!!!
I just spewed soda on my monitor!!!!!!!

 

[kimberlywrites]

EEEEWWWWW!!!!!
I just spewed soda on my monitor!!!!!!!

Actually, it's more like a q-tip with bristles.

 

[Mr.X]

lol. Lots of spouses in this tread