Sole Custody

[GinAA]

If OP is the Male "spouse" and mom is the female "spouse," male "spouse" might consider a paternity test.

I was thinking the same thing. Wouldn't that be terrible if Spouse wasn't parent to child.

 

[stealth2]

OP is just too, too speshul.

 

[gr8rn]

OP you didn't ask for this, but I want to give you really the best advise I can. Because I know what you do and how hard you work. And I feel, IDK, sympatico, with you as I want through a similar situation. And I have a really bad feeling about what you will be going through:

1. get a really good attorney. I mean, interview several, get references, be sure you have an attorney with teeth. You are going to need the best. And you won't get full custody, so you are going to have to coparent the best you can.

2. Don't be surprised if he files for spousal support the minute he moves out. Expect it, and be prepared. This is where #1 becomes VERY important. You need an attorney who will PUSH this through as quickly as humanly and judicially possible.

3. request court ordered counseling. Communication counseling, family counseling, whatever you can get. It will help because this is not going to be easy. It is going to be really difficult and you will be thanking your lucky stars for your job and schedule. You are blessed, that is for sure.

Good luck.

 

[AngieO'Plasty]

Thanks for the replies and suggestions. Through my company's EAP program, I have set up an appointment with a lawyer.

Of course it was upsetting to discover spouse's extracurricular activities; unfortunately, however, spouse & I were already having problems before my discoveries, mostly due to spouse's non interest in child.

I don't want spouse totally out of child's life. Child adores spouse and when spouse does actively parent, spouse is quite good with child.

At this time, though, given how disinterested spouse has been in parenting child, spouse's lack of resources to provide a stable/secure home, and spouse's plans to either move out of state or in with some unsavory characters (plus spouse's increasingly bad & violent temper), that child would be better off with me initially.

If we have to have a joint arrangement, then so be it. I don't anticipate that spouse will utilize all ordered visitation anyways ... So I am just pre-emptively worrying.

Also, spouse, child, and I have all under gone STD testing. Fortunately everything was negative. We will repeat in 6 months for HIV. Child was conceived through in-vitro, so there are no paternity concerns ... Unless, of course, the clinic mixed up our samples. But child looks exactly like spouse, only with my nose and lips, so I don't think questioning parentage is necessary.

Thanks again.

 

[AngieO'Plasty]

Also I don't believe tx allows spousal support unless the marriage is 10 years long or mire. We are only in year 7.

 

[jetsy62]

After all the advice is given, you don't know until you file. I have full legal custody of my daughter and full physical custody of my daughter and have since she was 9 months old. She is now 15. Gather all the facts that you can, hire a good attorney, and do what is in the best interest of your child. That does not mean her father has been denied a relationship with her. Simplified, in my case, the court thought my decision making process for our child was much better than her father's. It was a tough fight and not a pleasant experience, but I felt at the time and still feel to this day that I did the right thing.