Limbs_of_a_Pine
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? - Oregon
Hi all and thanks in advance for any help you can give.
I am the new stepmother of a 9 year old boy with some learning issues. He has an IEP.
His father has 50% custody (W-F weekly plus alternate weekends) and is a very active parent (attends all IEP meetings, takes to most doctor appointments, etc.)
His father has asked the school to set aside extra copies of school papers (homework packet, sign-ups for conferences, etc) that I can pick up. He has also added me as an authorized person to pick up SS. The school has been very helpful and friendly and knows me by name. I never enter the classroom without his dad present, though.
SS's mother has emailed her preference that I NOT be allowed to pick up SS from school or pick up extra copies of paperwork. However, she has ALSO verbally agreed to allow me to pick up SS from school.
(Background: I pick up copies of paperwork and homework because the packet goes out every Monday, which is a mom-custody day, and - for this entire school year - the homework packet has seldom made it to our house Wednesday, which is a dad-custody day. We have asked the teacher to scan and email homework, but that solution hasn't worked effectively. Now that I pick up the packet, we get homework done without incident every night. I have picked up and dropped off SS at school all school year on occasion with no problems, but it hasn't been routine - as I said we are just blending our families this year. For the future, I would like to pick SS up two afternoons a week, because my workplace is very close to his school, and that would allow me to get him to our home about an hour before his father can pick him up. Otherwise, his father has to detour quite a distance and SS must spend an hour in aftercare for those two days each week. SS very much wants to be picked up earlier as he does not like aftercare very much. I believe that an hour in our home without dad present is so short that Oregon's "right of first refusal" doesn't kick in - but if you think I'm wrong please let me know. )
Lots of background, sorry! Here are my questions:
Does SS's mom have any legal right to tell the school I - the step-mom - cannot pick up paperwork that the father has requested?
Does SS's mom have any legal right to tell the school that I cannot pick SS up after school on days his dad has custody?
Would a power of attorney make much difference?
These two issues (homework and after-school pickup) are such a regular part of the weekly routine that we really need a system that stays the same for the rest of the school year! It's worked well the past three months but SS's mother has just emailed her objections last week. Our goal here is to know our rights and simply assert to her that her preferences do not trump those rights.
Hi all and thanks in advance for any help you can give.
I am the new stepmother of a 9 year old boy with some learning issues. He has an IEP.
His father has 50% custody (W-F weekly plus alternate weekends) and is a very active parent (attends all IEP meetings, takes to most doctor appointments, etc.)
His father has asked the school to set aside extra copies of school papers (homework packet, sign-ups for conferences, etc) that I can pick up. He has also added me as an authorized person to pick up SS. The school has been very helpful and friendly and knows me by name. I never enter the classroom without his dad present, though.
SS's mother has emailed her preference that I NOT be allowed to pick up SS from school or pick up extra copies of paperwork. However, she has ALSO verbally agreed to allow me to pick up SS from school.
(Background: I pick up copies of paperwork and homework because the packet goes out every Monday, which is a mom-custody day, and - for this entire school year - the homework packet has seldom made it to our house Wednesday, which is a dad-custody day. We have asked the teacher to scan and email homework, but that solution hasn't worked effectively. Now that I pick up the packet, we get homework done without incident every night. I have picked up and dropped off SS at school all school year on occasion with no problems, but it hasn't been routine - as I said we are just blending our families this year. For the future, I would like to pick SS up two afternoons a week, because my workplace is very close to his school, and that would allow me to get him to our home about an hour before his father can pick him up. Otherwise, his father has to detour quite a distance and SS must spend an hour in aftercare for those two days each week. SS very much wants to be picked up earlier as he does not like aftercare very much. I believe that an hour in our home without dad present is so short that Oregon's "right of first refusal" doesn't kick in - but if you think I'm wrong please let me know. )
Lots of background, sorry! Here are my questions:
Does SS's mom have any legal right to tell the school I - the step-mom - cannot pick up paperwork that the father has requested?
Does SS's mom have any legal right to tell the school that I cannot pick SS up after school on days his dad has custody?
Would a power of attorney make much difference?
These two issues (homework and after-school pickup) are such a regular part of the weekly routine that we really need a system that stays the same for the rest of the school year! It's worked well the past three months but SS's mother has just emailed her objections last week. Our goal here is to know our rights and simply assert to her that her preferences do not trump those rights.