*a little late posting this but I had to say it*
MoneyShot said:
And the truth is.... what? That your son doesn't want to follow society's norms yet wants all the benefits of being a normal person? I think allowing him to quit school and try to function in the real world looking like an extra from some horror movie will give him a good lesson in real world functioning. I think there's a *lot* of things your son doesn't understand and I'd first lay the blame for that at your feet as his parent. But in any case, Maybe he's got his first lesson in the consequences of presenting himself, by his appearance, to the world as a walking freak show. If his manner of expressing himself through bizarre dress is disruptive to others, don't those same other students have a right to the best education that school can provide without your son drawing attention away from the educational process by his appearance.
Actually MoneyShot, the attitude you are portraying by your statements, which unfortunately seems to be a common viewpoint, is more of a threat to the wellbeing of these students than August's son following a different path. Stereotyping a person by the way they look and dress, is really no different than stereotyping by race or culture, the only difference is doing so based on race or culture is protected under the law. The end result is the same, the attitude encourages people to discriminate against others, mistrust others and mistreat others because they are different. Profiling the shooters after Columbine, they found the two had been considered outcasts or rejects, and had been subjected to anti-gay insults. Their journals experessed feelings of rejection and isolation..and anger and hatred. Officials acknowledged that this could have been a contributing factor, and implemented bullying policies.
As a society we know just how profoundly a child can be damaged by abuse, leading not only to depression, anxiety, suicide and withdrawal, but also anger, and aggressive or violent behavior. This is considered so serious a problem, that to protect the wellbeing of the child, they can be permanently separated from abusive parents. Despite this knowledge, society, so intolerant of differences felt what was learned by this, is that non-conformance especially leaning towards goth appearance, is not normal, is an indicator of deeper emotional issues, and something to be watched and wary of, possibly even feared. While the more logical, educated and constructive conclusion is barely even acknowledged. The damaging factor in child abuse is the abuse, while we would be horrified and outraged to find a child was exposed to 7 or 8 hours a day 5 days a week to constant rejection, insults, belitting, and bullying at home by their parents. Change home to school, and the parents to classmates, and it's a whole new ballgame....although the level, type and duration of abuse remain the same, it's not an issue, let alone life damaging abuse, instead it's the "normal" ones...the accepted ones, the majority, and someone who isn't. Ironically the victim now is held responsible not because they are bad, but because they are unique and individual, "different" the abusers on the other hand, are considered innocent victims, it's not their fault they are abusing him...it's his fault for being different. No matter how you try to pretty it up to protect the social norm, abuse is still abuse and can literally destroy someone's life. So long as people continue ignore the part intolerance and that so called social norm can play in things like this, chosing instead to alienate and abuse people who are different, believing that if we can eliminate individuality we can eliminate the problem....we will NEVER eliminate the problem.
My daughter dresses "goth" with the very wide legged pants, black t-shirts and even sometimes black nail polish and eyeliner, her personality is so opposite of the stereotype I can't help but laugh sometimes. Why does she not follow the "social norms"? Originally it was based on comfort, the "social norm" for young girls is largely based on their attempt to mimic the images set forth by the current pop star of the day. My daughter is modest about her body, and was not comfortable in short tight tshirts, thongs and low rise pants. I personally don't find this a problem at all but based on the stereotype society might.
Over time, this has evolved into a statement oposing the "social norm" as she see's it, and not only am I not worried about this, I'm very proud of her for it. Her opposition is founded in belief that every single person on earth is worthy of respect, and as such should be judged solely on their merits as individuals, not on money, social status, race, religion, country, or even appearance. She is bothered by what she see's in those that follow the so-called "social norm", the intolerence that she seen those who are "different" subjected to, and the pain and damage she knows it can cause. She makes her statement not only in appearance, but also example believing that each life she touches in a positive way makes the world just a little bit better.
Many of our greatest discoveries, advances and innovations came from people who did not fit the social norm, people who instead of wasting thier energy trying to meet the approval of society held firmly to their own dreams, ideas and beliefs. Different does not make one worthless, or bad. Without at least some people thinking outside the box our future is dead in the water. On the other hand, expecting people to all act, look, and believe the same, and intolerance to those who don't, actually promotes violence and pain.
