Summer Visitation Help!

[wileybunch]

Your order is definitely not very clear because as LDiJ pointed out, the language SEEMS to imply Dad has 1/2 of the summer at 5 weeks of vacation so if he would be able to have that time AND his typical school-year parenting time schedule, what time would be left for you? And, while you can have whatever vacation times you want if he hasn't given you notice by 4/1, you only get to have vacation time if you are taking child *out of town on vacation*, the way it's worded.

If no notice is given by April 1, the CUSTODIAL PARENT has priority in the scheduling of any summer vacation plans and the NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT may choose only those weeks in which the CUSTODIAL PARENT is not scheduled to be out of town on vacation with the Child.

So if you just decided to reserve certain weeks where you'll have child just to spend time with them, but not go out of town, Dad could come back and trump your time if he takes child out of town.

You need to clarify this. If it was intended that the summer schedule replaces the school-year schedule and that Dad gets up to 5 weeks of summer time, period, and Dad doesn't agree, you should take this back to court to clarify.

 

[Gum_Drop]

Hey, I resent that remark!

I type nothing like a Louisianaian. What a bunch over there!

And here I am, stuck in between the Louisianaians and you Alabamaians.

now I almost resent that remark.... But I cant as I know how us cajuns type and talk.. lol

 

[wnbama]

Your order is definitely not very clear because as LDiJ pointed out, the language SEEMS to imply Dad has 1/2 of the summer at 5 weeks of vacation so if he would be able to have that time AND his typical school-year parenting time schedule, what time would be left for you? And, while you can have whatever vacation times you want if he hasn't given you notice by 4/1, you only get to have vacation time if you are taking child *out of town on vacation*, the way it's worded.So if you just decided to reserve certain weeks where you'll have child just to spend time with them, but not go out of town, Dad could come back and trump your time if he takes child out of town.

You need to clarify this. If it was intended that the summer schedule replaces the school-year schedule and that Dad gets up to 5 weeks of summer time, period, and Dad doesn't agree, you should take this back to court to clarify.

I now understand WHY the wording is so important...UGH! I am the one that wrote this and got feedback on it. This part did not come up in the feedback at the time. So I am not stuck to deal with it. I am *thinking* that this is the first summer it has been in effect and *hopefully* (very wishful thinking there ) that if it can be worked out without going back to court this year next year will not be so hard!

Here is what I am thinking of sending him back:

Mr. Twiddle:

I have received your dates for summer vistation, Here is how I understand them:


Your Summer Visitation:
Week 1: May 20 thru May 27 at 6pm (7 days)
Week 2: June 8-12 **tack on the weekend before because it’s your weekend it’s (7 days)
Week 3: July 22 thru July 29 at 6pm (7 days)
Week 4: ? – No notice was given for this week
Week 5: ? – No notice was given for this week

● visitation shall be taken in increments of no greater than two (2) weeks (14 days) or less than one (1) week (7 days) **

● and shall not be extended because other visitation days fall within the chosen summer visitation weeks **

● The following is the order of priority: holidays, birthdays, summer visitation, school breaks, weekends.

● If no notice is given by April 1, the CUSTODIAL PARENT has priority in the scheduling of any summer vacation plans

My Summer Vacation plans:
July 2-6, 2009 we are going to beach, AL , We will be leaving early morning on the 2nd and returning sometime on the 6th. We will be available via my cell number should we need to be reached during this time.

BIRTHDAYS: The parents will alternate having Child with him or her on the child’s birthday, In odd-numbered years, NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT shall have Child on his birthday, In even-numbered years, CUSTODIAL PARENT shall have Child on his birthday. Each parent shall be entitled to have Child with him or her on that parent’s birthday, if wanted from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m.

Your Birthday:
June *, 2009 9am-6pm

My Birthday:
July *, 2009 9am-6 pm

● odd-numbered years, NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT shall have Child on his birthday

Son's Birthday:
July *, 2009 9am-6pm

I have mark the calendar according to the above dates. I have enclosed a copy for records.

All that is BOLDED above is copied from the CO. (I will not have it bolded in his letter) I am thinking the less said the better. Just leave it to this simple letter and be done with it.

How does that sound? Should I add anything to it? Change it?

 

[CJane]

I now understand WHY the wording is so important...UGH! I am the one that wrote this and got feedback on it. This part did not come up in the feedback at the time. So I am not stuck to deal with it. I am *thinking* that this is the first summer it has been in effect and *hopefully* (very wishful thinking there ) that if it can be worked out without going back to court this year next year will not be so hard!

Here is what I am thinking of sending him back:



All that is BOLDED above is copied from the CO. (I will not have it bolded in his letter) I am thinking the less said the better. Just leave it to this simple letter and be done with it.

How does that sound? Should I add anything to it? Change it?

He's gonna snark no matter what you do. But I might be significantly less wordy.

Something like "I've received your notice of the following dates. They are as follows:

Blah
Blah
Blah

I will be utilizing the following dates as vacation periods w/Son:

Blah
Blah
Blah

Please bear in mind that as this is an odd numbered year, Child will be spending his BDay w/you from 9am - 6pm. Please confirm that you'll have him on this day.

Please also confirm that you will have child on your Bday. As always, I'll have him on mine.

I'll update you with locations/contact information for our planned trip(s) later when plans are firm. As always, son is available via my cell phone at all reasonable times.

Thanks.

WNBAMA

Don't quote the CO yet. That just p*sses 'em right off.

 

[MichaCA]

Question of priority of school break vs bday visitation

Hi,

This year I have daughter for the second half of easter break. Her dad's birthday falls in that break.

I didn't think about it until reading some posts...there is no wording in our court order about what happens in cases like this.

I want to take our daughter to a ski trip with another single mom, daughters who are good friends...for the the part of spring break I have daughter.

Can I do this and inform dad that his birthday is "trumped" by the spring break? (in nicer words) or not?

In case it comes up, I cannot discuss these things with dad/try to negotiate. He is a pretty much non negotiable kind of a guy. Its either black and white or doesn't work.

Thank you very much, MichaCA

 

[TheGeekess]

Ha ha! Now that's funny. I don't care who ya are!

Seriously though, LA is like another country. And they can't drive worth a damn over there.

People in Mobile aren't the best drivers either, but the rest of AL is ok. My favorite city in AL is Hoover. We evacuated there for Katrina, and met some of the nicest people on the planet.

The Boyfriend used to squirrel hunt where the Riverchase Galleria is now.

But Shelby county drivers think they're in Georgia, as far as driving.

 

[wnbama]

He's gonna snark no matter what you do. But I might be significantly less wordy.

Something like "I've received your notice of the following dates. They are as follows:

Blah
Blah
Blah

I will be utilizing the following dates as vacation periods w/Son:

Blah
Blah
Blah

Please bear in mind that as this is an odd numbered year, Child will be spending his BDay w/you from 9am - 6pm. Please confirm that you'll have him on this day.

Please also confirm that you will have child on your Bday. As always, I'll have him on mine.

I'll update you with locations/contact information for our planned trip(s) later when plans are firm. As always, son is available via my cell phone at all reasonable times.

Thanks.

WNBAMA

Don't quote the CO yet. That just p*sses 'em right off.

CJ can you be my "Ghost Writer"....That was said so much better than I would have done it! Thanks!!

 

[MichaCA]

blooper

So sorry, thought I was in the right place...obviously my mind isn't!

 

[wnbama]

The Boyfriend used to squirrel hunt where the Riverchase Galleria is now.

But Shelby county drivers think they're in Georgia, as far as driving.

There is not enough money in the world to pay me to live in Shelby County, it's too big of a "HOT SPOT" !! ...Geek you are so right!

 

[wileybunch]

He's gonna snark no matter what you do. But I might be significantly less wordy.

Something like "I've received your notice of the following dates. They are as follows:

Blah
Blah
Blah

I will be utilizing the following dates as vacation periods w/Son:

Blah
Blah
Blah

Please bear in mind that as this is an odd numbered year, Child will be spending his BDay w/you from 9am - 6pm. Please confirm that you'll have him on this day.

Please also confirm that you will have child on your Bday. As always, I'll have him on mine.

I'll update you with locations/contact information for our planned trip(s) later when plans are firm. As always, son is available via my cell phone at all reasonable times.

Thanks.

WNBAMA

Don't quote the CO yet. That just p*sses 'em right off.

The only thing I wonder about this is if it will delay the inevitable when Dad gets back to Mom with the "rest" of his "5 weeks". It's a coin toss whether to deal with that now or not. Dealing with that now, you have time to go to court. Letting it ride means possibly that Dad won't return the child at some point and you won't be able to act on it fast enough through the court so you'll just have to give up this time anyway and he'll get more than 5 weeks this summer.

 

[wnbama]

The only thing I wonder about this is if it will delay the inevitable when Dad gets back to Mom with the "rest" of his "5 weeks". It's a coin toss whether to deal with that now or not. Dealing with that now, you have time to go to court. Letting it ride means possibly that Dad won't return the child at some point and you won't be able to act on it fast enough through the court so you'll just have to give up this time anyway and he'll get more than 5 weeks this summer.

He could have taken this week if he wished and there is NOTHING I could do about it. But since that no notice was give as of today (I know today is not over with..but we will go with he's not giving me notice since most of the is over with) I read it as I get to now pick my vacation time with my son and he would have have to pick other weeks.

So if you just decided to reserve certain weeks where you'll have child just to spend time with them, but not go out of town, Dad could come back and trump your time if he takes child out of town.

I'm ok with this...only because I have him full time and I work full time.

 

[frylover]

Hey, I resent that remark!

I type nothing like a Louisianaian. What a bunch over there!

And here I am, stuck in between the Louisianaians and you Alabamaians.

Sorry, 2M, but I don't see how Mississippi is THAT big of a step up from Louisiana! (Please note the attempts at correct spelling from this Louisiana native! However, I must admit my formative years were spent in schools other than the "fine" public schools of our state!)

 

[wileybunch]

If you pick your times with your son and are out of town, Dad has no leg to stand on. But, if you pick time with your times with your son where you aren't specifically going out of town on vacation, Dad can trump your time. But, that's not even what I'd be super concerned with. It's Dad having him MORE than 5 weeks altogether, but since you're OK with that, then I guess it's all fine. I thought that was an issue from your OP.

 

[TheGeekess]

There is not enough money in the world to pay me to live in Shelby County, it's too big of a "HOT SPOT" !! ...Geek you are so right!

After I had decided I was going to buy a house, I was down on 459 one day looking down 65S (~3:30PM). The traffic was backed up all the way back under the overpass and and then some. I decided then that I didn't want to live in Shelby! I now do a reverse commute. They're all headed North when I'm going South!

 

[LdiJ]

Let me throw out another example of what I was talking about....just so that everyone understands.

If dad's every other weekends continue throughout the summer, on top of his 5 weeks, then it would be literally possible for dad to take every "week" to cover one of mom's normal weekends, tack his weekend on the end, so that he got EVERY summer weekend. That would leave no summer weekends for mom and the child to spend together, and would leave no opportunity for mom to vacation with the child, even if mom couldn't afford to go away for her vacation, and instead preferred day trips to fun places.

Personally, my preferred summer schedule is every other week or every other two weeks. That gives both parents uninterrupted blocks of time with the children...and also allows for things like the children spending a week with grandparents as well as multiple choices for vacation time of their own.

So OP...if you end up going back to court, try getting it put in place that summer is every other week or every other two weeks. Then you don't have to worry about extra days getting tacked on.

If its written correctly then the timeshare would be "fixed" and there would be no need to "inform" by certain dates.

Example:

Summer break will include every other week for the parents. The ncp's first summer week shall commence at 6:00 PM on the first Friday after school releases, and the weeks shall rotate from that point, every Friday at 6:00 PM until the last Friday before school commences.

If the last week of summer visitation is with the CP, then the NCP will receive the first weekend after school starts, and the school year rotation will commence from there. If the last week of summer visitation is with the NCP, then the CP will receive the first weekend after school starts, and the school year otation will commence from there.

That's clear, unambigious and allows both parties to plan their summers without having to worry about "notifying" each other.

If a two week rotation is better, then do the same thing, only base it on two weeks instead of one. However I don't think that two weeks works as well. However, if both parents want two weeks for vacation, then a proviso can be included that each parent gets to choose to take one week of the other parent's time for "vacation"...but then you get back into the whole "notification" bit.

Of course summer visitation deals with Memorial Day weekend (in some states) the 4th of July and Labor Day (in some states) and Father's Day.

However, Father's day can be dealt with by indicating that dad gets that day..and the rest of those holidays could just fall as they may.