Taken Custody

[nicole_1005]

I live in the state of ky i filed for childsupport, after that was done and his visitations was set it had joint cutody on it with me being the primary custodian, this was done without my knowledge i have talked to the legal aid here and at the moment talking to lawyers legal aid said that the child support officer was not allowed to put down any type of custody. but she did under me... and since the judge has already signed it all i could do is appeal in family court is there something anyone could help me w/ this, to petition it or something ANYTHING to help me to get my custody back... NOTED: we do not agree on nothing he won't work w/ me on anything he won't talk to me about anything he won't talk to me at all joint custody is not right in this case please help me on this case/subject i'm 19 years old my son is 9 months i'm not nor have ever been married

 

[tigger22472]

Sole custody isn't going to stop him from getting visitation or having to agree with everything that you want. He will still have a say in his child's life even if you have joint custody so it's nothing but a waste of money to take this back to court. You simply have to follow the court order.

 

[nicole_1005]

i DO NOT want to stop his visitation or keep him fromhis son never have and not going to start what i was saying is that this was done without my knowledge i should have had a say so in it as well and the one who put the joint custody did not have the right to do so i just want to stand up for whats right in this situation...

 

[tigger22472]

i DO NOT want to stop his visitation or keep him fromhis son never have and not going to start what i was saying is that this was done without my knowledge i should have had a say so in it as well and the one who put the joint custody did not have the right to do so i just want to stand up for whats right in this situation...

The judge is who decides on the joint and/or sole custody and they did have that right, that is their job. You haven't said anything here that warrants that the judge was wrong in that decision. Nearly everyone gets joint physical custody and one parent is the primary, meaning that the child/ren live with one parent most of the time and the other has visitation. As far as legal custody that is more and more joint also. Sole custody usually only warrants when there is a distance between the parents or one of the parents have already proven they can't make good choices. At any rate all sole legal does is grant the primary the right to make the final decision but does not give them the right not to consult the other parent about the issues and try to come to some sort of solution. What you think is right and what he thinks is right is irrevelant. It's what the judge thinks is right.

 

[nicole_1005]

I know all of this and yes I know what it means I also know my situation Is why I chose Sole/Legal Custody, I know that If two parents Can't and will Not agree that joint is not for them...........

I also stated that the judge DID NOT award him joint custody he had just signed the papers that went infront of him... The child support officer was the one who decided this.. (which in the state of Ky is not allowed) ( Unless we agreed to it) And no I did not agree It was done under me I had no knowledge of this so there for I DID NOT agree to those terms...

Now is there anyway that you could help me on how to go about getting it back?

 

[tigger22472]

I know all of this and yes I know what it means I also know my situation Is why I chose Sole/Legal Custody, I know that If two parents Can't and will Not agree that joint is not for them...........

The problem is you don't get to choose. You can ask but that doesn't mean you will receive. As far as parents not agreeing, it happens every day to parents who have joint custody. To expect two people who are no longer into a relationship to agree on everything is unreasonable. This is why they are called ex's. However, just because the parents can't agree doesn't mean they don't get equal say in the child's life.

I also stated that the judge DID NOT award him joint custody he had just signed the papers that went infront of him... The child support officer was the one who decided this.. (which in the state of Ky is not allowed) ( Unless we agreed to it) And no I did not agree It was done under me I had no knowledge of this so there for I DID NOT agree to those terms...

Now is there anyway that you could help me on how to go about getting it back?

What you aren't getting is that a judge DID grant him joint custody whether it be recommended by someone you don't believe had the power or not. The bottom line is the judge signed the papers. You can consult an attorney in KY that will advice you whether an appeal would get you anywhere but IMO it's not. And if you go into that chambers arguing this it won't look good for you, you are already in another thread asking about moving.... so you're going to go argue a judges' order for joint custody and then want to move, that won't make you look good. It will make you look like a mother who wants all the control and wants to leave dad out in the cold.

 

[tigger22472]

Now, let's recap.. shall we Niki?

First in this thread you want to fight joint custody given to dad...

Then in this thread you want to move 40 miles from dad..
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=256202

In this thread you want to change your child's last name to yours and continued to argue with posters to the point that the admin had to come on and advise you.

http://community.lawyers.com/messageboards/message.asp?channelId=&subId=&mId=664294&mbId=55

And in this thread supposably this is your mother saying how basically dad has beat you and again is trying to argue the joint custody issue.

http://community.lawyers.com/messageboards/message.asp?channelId=&subId=&mId=664839&mbId=55

Do I have the story straight now? As the admin to the other board told you...

"Niki, you have receive good advice, but it seems like you aren't listening. Basically, you had a child. This child has a father and a mother - both have rights to this child. I'm really afraid for you. If you continue on this same path, I can see you in front of a judge and the judge giving the father full custody. You need to realize you can move out of your mom's house. You can move on with your life - just not that far from where the father resides. Please realize this man is going to be in your life, your child's life for a minimum of 18 years! You need to share this child. Try to find out if your family court has an advice office - or a family court library."

So, are you going to go around to all the boards you can find until someone tells you that it's ok to take this child from it's father and that dad doesn't deserve joint custody?

 

[nicole_1005]

You All Don't Get It!!!

I'm Not Trying To Take His Visitations At All And No I'm Not Trying To Move Away To Keep My Son From Him I Don't Want To Take Complete Rights Away From Him And No At Any Circumstance Do I Not Want Him In His Sons Life Before Court I Litterally Had To Catch Him In Front Of His Friends To Get Him To Come See Him Son, But That Is In The Past.. And With The Moving Situation All I Want There Is To Be Where My Life Is At And Have My Family... And Knowing My Ex Everytime I Have Tryed To Get Away And Be Happy He Has Stopped Me ( Even Before I Got Pregnant ) I Just Want To Know My Rights And I Want To Know That I Can Move On W/ My Life And Know That His Dad Won't Be Able To Keep Me From Being Happy.. Ty For Your Advice And Ect.. To The Other Message Board As Well But All I Have Recived Is Instead Of You All Answering My Questions And Letting Me Know My Rights You All Have Attacked Me And Assumed On How Everything Is Going. I Want My Son To Grow Up Happy With Both Parents. And I Do Mean Both Parents. Now For Justifacation Like I Need It, I Have Come To Different Message Boards So That I Could Get A Complete Insite On How I Can Go About Keeping To Familys From Fueding Seeing How This Has Gone On Long Enough, If You Knew Us And Knew The Situation Then By All Means Please Judge And Tear Us Down All You Like Or Desire But I Came Here For Amwsers And Advise As I Have Sought For... But Got Nothing But More Fueding Ty So Much For Your Advice It Was Good When That One Person Has The Decentsy To Be Nice Well At Least Civil..

 

[tigger22472]

Ok.. Niki... but have you paid attention to the answers you're getting, not just here but on the other board too? You continually come back and argue them. You even asked on the other board if having sole custody you could get his name changed which is why I really suspect you want sole custody. You were given an answer of yes on that board which is in correct.. You would still need dad's permission and consent and absent him being a criminal that has harmed the child he's not going to lose visitation, but in fact gain more as the child grows older and will remain in this child's life.

You came here with the theory of only moving 40 miles away yet discuss on the other board if he could stop you if you moved to California because your soon to be husband will be millitary. You want to do what YOU want... not what is best for the child. Do you have a right to move on with your life? Sure you do but not without restrictions. You chose to have a baby with this man who in one of your millions of posts claim that he's abused you and controlled you even before you got pregnant... boy, there's a reason to not practice safe sex. Because of that you now have a child with this person that you now have to consult with for the next 18 years.

Now, I will advise you. Your likelyhood of getting the custody altered is slim at BEST. The issue of you moving 40 miles away.... MAYBE... depending on how much dad fights you and how much you can prove is in the child's best interest. However, if your boyfriend is transferred anywhere you will have to get either dad's permission and/or the courts permission to move. Moving from Kentucky to California WILL infringe on Dad's visitation and again if he fights it, you married or not might not matter. As far as the name change, you have an even less change at that being changed as you do getting the custody changed.

You need to grow up and realize that you chose him as the daddy and now you're stuck with that decision. You can come and say you aren't trying to wipe him out all you want but every one of your posts on the boards indicate differently. You can ask these questions until your blue in the face but the facts aren't going to change and you will have to accept what you hear even though you don't want to.

 

[LdiJ]

The judge is who decides on the joint and/or sole custody and they did have that right, that is their job. You haven't said anything here that warrants that the judge was wrong in that decision. Nearly everyone gets joint physical custody and one parent is the primary, meaning that the child/ren live with one parent most of the time and the other has visitation. As far as legal custody that is more and more joint also. Sole custody usually only warrants when there is a distance between the parents or one of the parents have already proven they can't make good choices. At any rate all sole legal does is grant the primary the right to make the final decision but does not give them the right not to consult the other parent about the issues and try to come to some sort of solution. What you think is right and what he thinks is right is irrevelant. It's what the judge thinks is right.

I have to disagree with that. Its really the opposite. Joint legal custody is very much the norm (joint decision making) and more people are getting some form of joint physical custody, but its not to the stage at all where its "nearly everyone". It is for joint legal custody, but not joint physical.

 

[Elite1]

I live in Ontario

Right now I am in a similar situation, I also had to take my ex back to court and he is going after joint custody of my son with alternating weeks. I am refusing this request because 1: in our original court order he has had all rights to excercise taking him on Wed and he has not done so for 9 yrs. 2: My daughter at the age of 11 decided to move in with my ex, she is now 13 and in March my daughter went in for an operation without me knowing she was even seeing a specialist and we have joint custody of her. When I asked him why he did not let me know, he said he does not have to inform me of anything. 3: My son does not want to go, he was 3months old when we speperated so all he has known is being in my full time care and visiting his dad.

I also would not take it back to court, it will cost you a lot more in the long run. I know exactly how you feel, my ex and I do not agree on anything at all, but the courts are turning towards joint custody more and more these days unless you can really find just cause for them not too.

 

[stealth2]

As the admin to the other board told you...

"Niki, you have receive good advice, but it seems like you aren't listening. Basically, you had a child. This child has a father and a mother - both have rights to this child. I'm really afraid for you. If you continue on this same path, I can see you in front of a judge and the judge giving the father full custody. You need to realize you can move out of your mom's house. You can move on with your life - just not that far from where the father resides. Please realize this man is going to be in your life, your child's life for a minimum of 18 years! You need to share this child. Try to find out if your family court has an advice office - or a family court library."

Actually, that poster is NOT an admin - the admin just moved it into the same thread to keep things tidy. However, Niki has received a LOT of input over there from several lawyers. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be input Niki is interested in hearing (i.e. that she's not going to get far with her line of argument).

The long and the short of it, niki, is that when you chose to have a child and didn't stay with Dad, you limited your options with respect to where you can live. Your son's life is where you and his father are - not where you go to school, not where your boyfriend lives, etc. It's time for you to grow up and accept the consequences of your decision to have a child with this guy.

 

[nicole_1005]

Assumed

Now, the reason I As you call it have argued so much is for Example: moving to Cali is not in the rift at all I hate Cali and never once mentioned of moving there if ahen i have a question and you all don't anwser it or ask a question back or argue w/ me on thinking you all want me to justify myself then how am I suppost to go about leaving it blank Now, Just b/c one has all these questions about children and court and lawyers dosn't mean her exact case is w/ all of them

I admit like I already have you have helped us out tremendously. Even though It was done w/ mainly Judgement and attacks but thats just how it is.. right after all your a lawyer... No matter ty so much for you biased imput.

 

[stealth2]

Now, the reason I As you call it have argued so much is for Example: moving to Cali is not in the rift at all I hate Cali and never once mentioned of moving there if ahen i have a question and you all don't anwser it or ask a question back or argue w/ me on thinking you all want me to justify myself then how am I suppost to go about leaving it blank Now, Just b/c one has all these questions about children and court and lawyers dosn't mean her exact case is w/ all of them

I admit like I already have you have helped us out tremendously. Even though It was done w/ mainly Judgement and attacks but thats just how it is.. right after all your a lawyer... No matter ty so much for you biased imput.

....Huh?....

 

[Zephyr]

that is exactly what i was thinking