Teen Marriage

[bamababy1519]

Alabama. I'm 15 years old and pregnant, my boyfriend and I want to get married but our parents won't let us, do we need their consent since i'm pregnant and if we do is it possible for us to go to georgia and get married?

 

[stephenk]

how old is your "fiance"?

 

[bamababy1519]

He's 19. My mother is now willing to sign, but my father and her are divorced. will I need both or only her signature?

 

[theother]

From what I've read, both parents have to give consent for a minor to marry in AL. I believe that is true in GA too. Supposedly, GA allows minors to get married without parental consent if they have a statement from their doctor saying that the minor is pregnant, but I think you have to be at least 16 for that. It looks like you may have to wait.


On a personal note, have you considered possible giving the child up for adoption? Fifteen seems awfully young to be making these big, life-altering decisions. I'm sure that you are a very sweet person, but you may be able to offer your child a better life if you let him or her go to a family that is ready to raise a child. You will probably end up having a better life too. Being a wife and mother when your friends are out partying and going off to college can be really hard. Good luck to you.

 

[nextwife]

Amen, theother. Consider what's really best for this child. A stable environment with two settled, emotionally mature, responsible adults who have an established relationship in which they have been togther and do well as a couple. That way, this child gets two ready willing and able parents.

Consider it. You can defer parenting until you get the means to stand on your own two feet and do something with your life without always being dependent upon someone else.

 

[gobonas99]

Two words come to mind - Statutory Rape. If you are 15, and your boyfriend is 19, then he can in fact be charged with statutory rape under Alabama Law. See statute below:

"13A-6-62. Rape in the second degree

"A male commits the crime of rape in the second degree if :

"Being 16 years old or older, he engages in sexual intercourse with a female less than 16 and more than 12 years old; provided, however, he is at least two years older than the female."

Just thought you should be aware of this.

On a side note, I agree with nextwife and theother that you should seriously consider putting the baby up for adoption.

-Christina

 

[JETX]

And I agree, since if you were my daughter, your 'fiance' would be in prison for a long time!!

 

[hexeliebe]

And before going to Prison he would be "adjusted" to sing soprano!!!

 

[sroutlaw]

Please consider adoption - and finishing school yourself! Your child will be so much better off with a two parent home and you will be better off waiting till you are a grown up to have your own children.

As for the boyfriend, he needs a one way ticket to Europe from the sound of things.... Isn't that where the OTHER famous Statutory Rapist, Roman Pulanski, has spent the last twenty or so years?

 

[bamababy1519]

I would like to thank you all for your advice but, I did not asked to be preached to about putting my child up for adoption, I realize that it will be very hard to rasie a child but I am ready and willing to accept that responsiblty. I honestly do not think I could live with myself if I let some other couple raise my child. I want to be the one it calls mom and I want to be able to see it's first step and hear it's first word, not some other woman. As for the statutory rape comment, if you would've read the law properly and talk to an offical employed by the state of Alabama you would know no charges can and will not be brought against anyone for that crime unless it's done so by the parents of the minor child. I asked a simple question about marriage and I got preached to and basically ridaculed for my mistake. Yes, I knew the consequnces of my decision of having sex but, unlike alot of the other teens I'm owning up to it. I want you all to ask yourselves if you could really carry a child and just hand it to someone else, or maybe a grandchild by a teenage daughter? Of course you're going to say "Yes,It's what's best." but I want you to sit and really think about it.

 

[nextwife]

"alot of the other teens I'm owning up to it. I want you all to ask yourselves if you could really carry a child and just hand it to someone else....."


Yeah, sure, getting married while a kid, having no real way to properly support this child is is "owning up". And it's your kid who will suffer for it. You think you're being brave, what you are really being is selfish.

All your reasons for not wanting an adoption are about what YOU want (I want to see it's first steps, I want to hear it's first words) none of it is about making the best choices to give this kid a real chance at a decent future.

Remember Kings Solomon's wisdom and the story of how he knew which woman claiming to be a babies mother was the one who should have the baby? It was the woman who loved the child enough to be willing to give it up to save it.

And YES, if my daughter were pregnant at your age (and she will know that if she is going to be sexually active against my wishes, she damn well better make sure they are both at least using birth control and not make any babies), she WILL be making an adoption plan. I will not be a party to ruining three lives and I will not enable the situation as if it's OK. My daughter, just like my grown son, will go to college, hopefully to graduate school, or technical school and learn to stand on her own two feet. FIRST. BEFORE kids and husbands. She can make babies all the way up to age 40, there's no rush to become a mom while a teen. She'll get to watch the baby that she eventually raises, in an established, solid relationship, when she's old enough and RESPONSIBLE enough to become a mom take it's first steps and hear that baby say it's first words.

And by the way, I didn't get to see my daughter take her first steps or cut her first tooth. WE just wern't able to get her any sooner. It's not the end of the world. Sometimes life just throws us curves and we need to adjust a bit and realize that what we want are just the plans that G-d might change.

 

[bamababy1519]

Selfish? How am I being selfish? Is it because I want to raise my child instead of someone else? Look, I NEVER had a mother, I will be damned if I let my child grow wondering why I left him/her or wondering who I am. My son/daughter will have a very good home, my boyfriend has a job making 9 dollars an hour, I am in the process of reciving my highschool diploma and i'm already looking into college courses to become a physical therapist, I also have a job, my own car and he has a home of his own we will be living in. It may not be THE best but it's what I can do right now. To nextwife, I am sorry you never go to see your daughter take her first steps or cut her first tooth but i'll not be missing out on any of it. If all you're going to do is be a smart ass when you reply, you need not bother.

 

[hexeliebe]

You're wrong bamabutthead, I'm the SMART ASS...

Now, go away and come back in three years to tell us how the college courses are going, how wonderful that home is and how the shinney new car is running....NOT!

You're deluded if you think things are going to be wonderful. It's going to be a struggle. And from all that I've read from you in this thread, you're not even close to knowing what reality is, much less how to face it.

By the way, that wonderful father of your baby, that kid is not going to be around in a year or two.

Oh, and congrats on the $9 an hour job. That's a whopping $360 BEFORE taxes. Considering the price of diapers (a pack every two days at $4.95 a pack), taxes, social security and other deductions, now you're down to about $280 a week. Let's also not forget formula and baby food. Another $50 a week.

So far we're at $230 a week. But we forgot doctor's appointments, clothes, food for mommy and daddy, gas for the cars, baby soap, cleaning cloths and all the other stuff you're going to need to grow a healthy baby. Figure about another $75 a week.

Guess what? We're down to $155 a week. O.K. not so bad. But now we've got phone, electric and mortgage payments, not to mention car payments. Taken weekly you can figure on $100 minimum.

So you've got $55 a week left over. WOW, now that's disposable income. That will pay a lot of college tuition. That is, if you're not too tired from waking up at 11 p.m., 1 a.m., 3 a.m. and again at 5 a.m. for the feedings.

Oh, and I forgot childcare. Or are you taking the baby with you to college? That's at least $50 a week. So now you're down to $5 a week.

What a rosey reality. Looks like welfare to me.

 

[bamababy1519]

Look, you don't even know what kind of person I am or how my kid will turn out, I have the support of my family who will help me take care of my child till i'm fully able, which will not be long, and I wasn't even refering to your comment, I was talking about Nextwife, pay attention moron. Oh and bamabutthead that's real mature and original.

 

[ChristinaR]

Look, I NEVER had a mother, I will be damned if I let my child grow wondering why I left him/her or wondering who I am.

There in lies part of the problem, our young Mommy to be never had one and is looking to fill the void by playing mommy herself. Classic and very sad since she wont be able to fill that void with this child.