The never ending saga

[mommyto 2]

CJane, thanks for the speed slap, I needed that. I don't answer his calls and fact I refuse to speak to him. I only answer the parts of emails I need to, but I do respond to the issues that need responding to. But you are right, I need to cut back. My biggest concern is what he and wife are saying to the kids. It is very upsetting.

I was going to ask what was the responsibilty of the CP to provide information to the NCP. I like the ideas given, to be honest though my ex wants to try anything to find me in fault. I keep him informed of everything that is educational and medical in nature. Now he demands to keep him informed of activities that occur on my parenting time. Your righ Cjane, no matter what I do he will have a problem.

Thanks for the support everyone, you are great.

 

[mommyto 2]

Oh by the way, our order does not state that I am required to provide all of this paperwork, only that I am to keep him informed of educational and medical decissions. He thinks the notice for family bingo night falls under this.

 

[StampGirl]

Now he demands to keep him informed of activities that occur on my parenting time. Your righ Cjane, no matter what I do he will have a problem.


My crazy ex tried that tactic: He wanted to know what the kids were doing on my time. I just spun it around and said Fine... I want to know what they are doing when YOU have them. That shut him up real quick. Him and the new wifey don't want me to know anything. They even kept their wedding date a secret (and the location) because she was so paranoid I would show up!!! ha ha She is a lil wacky needless to say. Her time is best served finding out what her husband is doing on her time!! That boy (my ex) needs a short leash!!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

OP - time for the X to get a judge slap He's a big boy - if the info is on the website, then by golly, grow up and LOOK. He reminds me of someone and it pushes MY buttons.

Speaking of that:
I was in the elevator at the court house. A man enters the elevator with me and asks me to push a button. I sweetly look at him and ask WHICH button would you like for me to push. I sooooooo good at pushing buttons. Next floor, he got out. I think he thought I was a nut case.

 

[mommyto 2]

That's great

 

[wileybunch]

Oh by the way, our order does not state that I am required to provide all of this paperwork, only that I am to keep him informed of educational and medical decissions. He thinks the notice for family bingo night falls under this.

OK, that did make me giggle. Does he feel like you purposely withheld info on a family bingo night so that he/his family couldn't attend with the kids? Has that been an issue in the past?

I can see how these notices and events would be hard to keep up on even for the parent that resides in the home. I 'd hate to be taken to task over every little thing. But, unless you know for a fact what the school is publishing on their website, I can see where you're not sure what info you need to pass (vs. what dad needs to find out on the website).

 

[StampGirl]

Just send it all!!! ha ha My ex gets drowned in paperwork and the kids tell me he just barely sifts through it and puts it back in their bags to come home.

Like my attorney said to me: If they want it, give em enough to make them choke and wish they hadn't asked for it. The ex has asked me to stop sending so much paperwork etc but I just tell him that no honey I am following the court order and keep sending it!!

 

[mommyto 2]

The fact is I do send it all, but then he loses something and states that I never sent it!! I am in a no win situation. Then he goes on the school's web page finds out what is going on, then blames me for not keeping me informed!!! Do you see why I end up pulling my hair out. It is all about trying to catch me screwing up, I am under the microscope all the time and then I am always trying to make sure I haven't screwed up for fear of going back to court and paying more legal fees.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Don't know which poster said it - they scan all the paperwork and EMAIL to the other parent. With the power of email messages that are store, he can't 'claim' you didn't send it. Drown him in messages

 

[wileybunch]

The fact is I do send it all, but then he loses something and states that I never sent it!! I am in a no win situation. Then he goes on the school's web page finds out what is going on, then blames me for not keeping me informed!!! Do you see why I end up pulling my hair out. It is all about trying to catch me screwing up, I am under the microscope all the time and then I am always trying to make sure I haven't screwed up for fear of going back to court and paying more legal fees.

Oh for pete's sake .... Yeah, the scanning and emailing is starting to sound better and better .... I'm sure you have nothing else better to do, right?!

 

[fairisfair]

The fact is I do send it all, but then he loses something and states that I never sent it!! I am in a no win situation. Then he goes on the school's web page finds out what is going on, then blames me for not keeping me informed!!! Do you see why I end up pulling my hair out. It is all about trying to catch me screwing up, I am under the microscope all the time and then I am always trying to make sure I haven't screwed up for fear of going back to court and paying more legal fees.

so, email him the link to the school website. On a monthly basis.

 

[peppier]

I would send him the link every month too but in the beginning cut and paste the information on the page that has the info along with it and a note that this is available online at the link and he can always know what is going on. It shows that you are willing, you have proof that he is informed and he can't claim that he is computer illiterate and didn't know.

As you have said, you already send him everything and then he claims you didn't. He is obviously looking for reasons to be upset and we all know, people like that always find them. Your goal is making sure that they remain silly nit-picking charges that would look ridiculous in court when you show how you cooperated.

 

[Isis1]

i live in California.

i got a little curious reading this post. my ex tries to also complain because i did not notify him of school picture day. sent me a letter stating is was my responsibility to provide him with the information. i sent him copies of school education information, medical information, requests for the names and phone numbers for the his information for when he had physical custody. (took him 5 months to give me anything i asked for and said in a court document that i had to have everything handed to me on a silver platter. why is a name and phone number asking for a silver platter???)

can he make an issue out of the whole picture day notification? i responded to him that as it was not an educational issue, nor a medical issue and he isn't paying support which would have covered the cost of picture day, i was more concerned about feeding them and keeping a roof over their heads.

i would love to send him e-mails and attach all this stuff, but he doesn't have a computer, nor access. not that he would know how to turn it on to begin with.

one thing i did do, when i send him school paperwork, i send a letter stating what documents were sent along with the letter. these letters get cc'd to the court. so this way..it's in writing of what was provided. and if he says not, then he needs to respond in writing. (love the writing back and forth. it reduces the amount of taking i have to do with an irate violent person) he hates it though.

 

[jaxpink]

Hey Mommy- Another idea is if your outbox has the email he sent and what you replied in it ( on the same page) than you can just print his email and the one sent out at the same time. They should be on there together. You cant change the writing of an incoming email until to click reply. He should know this if he is so paranoid.
Also maybe talk to kids teacher and ask for 2 copies of everything.
Send Dad a copy of everything with a return green card on it and each time you will get it back that he rcvd it. Then he can never say u didnt even tho you dont have t.

Drown him in messages as Ginny Says!!

 

[wileybunch]

i got a little curious reading this post. my ex tries to also complain because i did not notify him of school picture day. sent me a letter stating is was my responsibility to provide him with the information.

This is specifically in my husband's CO (that the CP had drawn up by her attorney) and she doesn't do it among many other things and after settling on a contempt motion against her, it was reiterated the various things she needs to do and she still ended up saying she didn't plan to order and forgot to keep the form to give to him (this is within weeks of being reminded in court).

It doesn't sound like you're playing this game, but it does happen.
But, I do have to question what your intentions are because what you didn't mention is what I think would be the right thing to do -- when you realized you missed providing that, you should have offered to give him the forms to do reorders from, offered to split your package, or that sort of thing.