This is for the haters

[casa]

And casa, since I think you missed the deleted thread... dude is stationed at Great Lakes and is being sent to Norfolk.

He wants to maintain a 60/40 split at MINIMUM w/the child living with him for weeks at a time... and if Mom won't agree, he's going to live on the ship, cut his pay and reduce CS.

He's a peach.

I really dislike it when posters delete their original threads...it begs to question what they don't want us to read? (But they can sure demand advice & even complain about it!)

 

[casa]

Oh, we're still here, hon. And I remembered he was Navy, but called him "army" (note the lower case "a") just to wind him up.

Ain't that right, JJ?

he he he I must be feeling mischevious today, because that cracked me up!

 

[Just Blue]

OH MY GOD!! All of you people are such haters!! Stop!! There is such negativity emanating from this thread that the feedback is giving me acid reflux!! Why can't we all just get along.....

 

[CJane]

The OP doesn't seem to care about his child...Can you imagine the toll that taxing schedule will take on a three year old??

I can. In fact, I'm such a hater that I posted a thread about it.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=379372&highlight=PERTINENT

 

[Silverplum]

he he he I must be feeling mischevious today, because that cracked me up!

All males in my own family, and in my married family, serve in the Navy or the Marines. One or the other, nothing else.

I think I've heard every single Navy/Marine joke. And don't even get me/us started on Army jokes!

And yes, it's true: we simply ignore the Air Force and National Guard. We love them just fine, but don't know what to do with them.

 

[JacobJoel]

ahhh...Silver, sweet silver, my husband is AN ARMY GREEN BERET Type. and HE got ALL your jokes.

he said tell her 'mah special forces sergeant major fails to understand the levity of your jokes' (in his best sick w/the flu drill instructor voice).

what this SAILOR fails to understand is that this board is much like boot camp.

One goes to bootcamp not knowing jack sh*t about the military, much like those who come here understand jack sh*t about law/courts (and most of the time even less).

Those who stick out boot camp, even thoe they are treated like said 'sh*t' come out w/an entirely different perspective on life, we could call it 'respect'.

those who have the intestinal fortitude to continue on in the learning process (read: being challenged on their every word/motive/action) stand a greater chance of winning in court.

it isn't that every point that is challenged, brought up or reviewed in a 'negative/hater' attitude is valid or even going to be used in their case, but if they at least are willing to look at it and consider it, they will be that much better 'equiped' in the court 'war'.

those who train to win wars in times of peace, win wars in times of war.

this guy, instead of getting all torqued out at the 'war training' environment here would better serve his fellow military men/women by keeping us aprised of what his going on with his case, how it is going for him, what is different or 'special' for him because he IS military and how his lawyer (because more then likely he will get one) helped him.

and if he doesn't get a lawyer, what, if any military rules/laws did he utilize along the way any way.

i mean, he could actually become a 'member' here, and a very useful one at that.

if he could just get that cranial/rectal inversion problem correct, that is.

endoftirad.

 

[Silverplum]

Agreed, JJ!
Hi and military apologies/respect to your H.

 

[JacobJoel]

H said no apologies needed, he thinks you are great. and he appreciates this board to no end.

<sigh> i just wish he would USE it and make some moves already!

 

[ezmarelda]

kenski, what is your major malfunction?

*sorry couldnt help it*

 

[JacobJoel]

His major malfunction is that he is a SAILOR!!

and his response would be that the Marine Corps is a department of the Navy.

to which i would reply: yes, the MENS department! (which is why this girlie went into the Marines. she was shopping!)

i know silver, it's way old, but it is STILL funny.

to Women Marines.

 

[my life is mine]

Kenski,

I work with the Navy, here in VA. So I am gonna tell you what will happen once you get here, you are going to a ship or with a squadron, they will deploy within a few months of you coming, or sooner, your few weeks every other month schedule will not flush with Command. You will need to have a care provider set up, the child's Mother usually unless you are remarried. Your deployements will be anywheres froma week to 6 months, if a week, prepare to be gone almost every other week as the Commands will be doing their work ups, preparing for a 6 month deployment. In 3 years during the time you are stationed at your first ever Command, you will most likely be gone 2 to 2 1/2 of that time.

This is unless you are stationed and have a job such as a corpman, or maybe as a PS or some other admin, sit behind a desk job in the Navy.

 

[JacobJoel]

MLIM, he is on his second enlistment, he reupped for 6 years, so he isn't a newbie. does that make a difference?

 

[my life is mine]

No JJ, he still will have deployments, he still will have work ups, Officers and Enlisted still must go when Command goes. If he is coming back on a second enlistment, he should know the routine by now. VA is where sailors go 90% for sea duty, and sea duty means going out to sea. All the ships in this area are consistently gone, as of right now we are still in a state of alert. It won't matter if it is sub, small boy or even carrier, they are going.
With this being a second enlistment he should have a clue, but obviously does not.

 

[LdiJ]

No JJ, he still will have deployments, he still will have work ups, Officers and Enlisted still must go when Command goes. If he is coming back on a second enlistment, he should know the routine by now. VA is where sailors go 90% for sea duty, and sea duty means going out to sea. All the ships in this area are consistently gone, as of right now we are still in a state of alert. It won't matter if it is sub, small boy or even carrier, they are going.
With this being a second enlistment he should have a clue, but obviously does not.

I think that he is generally being unrealistic all around. A 60/40 split is not feasible for a long distance situation, even if he were a civilian. It can be done until the child start's KG, and if I remember correctly his daughter is 3 or 4, but its impossible after that point.

If you add time at sea into the mix, he is going to be lucky if he can physically manage even a standard long distance schedule.

I think that the judge was also unrealistic in ordering them into mediation to come up with a 60/40 split. I think if it comes down to the judge having to decide, and the OP tells the truth about his deployment schedule, that its not going to end up being 60/40, even just until she starts school.

 

[JacobJoel]

hmmm, thanks.

i am really asking for my own data bank. i don't remember how the Navy/sea duty thing works.

this all begs the question(s) 'is the judge a civilian', leading to 'does the judge understand the concepts that Life and LD outlined' as well as 'will kenski cough up the reality of such'.

i'm tracking the posts that deal w/military because i have a number of friends who are affiliated. a lot of military careerists, male and female, pay dearly when it comes to their children and it sucks.