This is for the haters

[LdiJ]

hmmm, thanks.

i am really asking for my own data bank. i don't remember how the Navy/sea duty thing works.

this all begs the question(s) 'is the judge a civilian', leading to 'does the judge understand the concepts that Life and LD outlined' as well as 'will kenski cough up the reality of such'.

i'm tracking the posts that deal w/military because i have a number of friends who are affiliated. a lot of military careerists, male and female, pay dearly when it comes to their children and it sucks.

It does....but they went into the military with their eyes wide open. They knew or should have known the potential pitfalls when they decided to enlist, or to become career military.

 

[JacobJoel]

Respectfully, everyone knows ABOUT the pitfalls and potential ugliness when they get married but they don't really BELIEVE that it will happen to THEM.

nor does one anticipate the depth of the anger/resentment/evil that will be directed at them.

same as the military. When you join up you don't really focus on things like 'combat', 'death', ,ptsd', relationship issues, etc.

and because the pitfalls exist do we encourage/hope that people do NOT join up?

when the deed is done and people need assistance do we ditch them because they are now faced w/yet ANOTHER life challenge?

i don't want to get into a philisophical debate or challenge but we need a military. the military needs to be supported on all levels same as the non-military.

 

[LdiJ]

Respectfully, everyone knows ABOUT the pitfalls and potential ugliness when they get married but they don't really BELIEVE that it will happen to THEM.

nor does one anticipate the depth of the anger/resentment/evil that will be directed at them.

same as the military. When you join up you don't really focus on things like 'combat', 'death', ,ptsd', relationship issues, etc.

and because the pitfalls exist do we encourage/hope that people do NOT join up?

when the deed is done and people need assistance do we ditch them because they are now faced w/yet ANOTHER life challenge?

i don't want to get into a philisophical debate or challenge but we need a military. the military needs to be supported on all levels same as the non-military.

You misunderstood me a bit. One of the pitfalls of being in the military (and some of these people enlist after being unwed and having children) is that its very difficult to maintain a standard visitation schedule, let alone something that is more than standard.

Once the children are in school its even more difficult....because the children's time off school doesn't always correspond with the parent's leave (if the parent deploys regularly or is in a combat zone). Its easier when the parent is stationed in a child friendly area and has a fixed type of job, and even easier when the parent is stationed stateside.

With so many military personnel being in combate zones....even the happily married ones are separated from their kids for long stretches.

 

[JacobJoel]

yes, i did misunderstand. thanks for the clarification.

i'm a little defensive because of my situation i guess.

 

[elements]

That is great news!!! I am glad that not all judges judge that you are a bad just because your male.

Im sure the few remember me who kept telling me I wouldn't get my daughter as much as I do now, well, you were wrong. Let me refresh your memory. I said that I was in the military, just got orders to Virginia. My ex-wife currently lives in Wisconsin (where our 3 year old daugthter was born and where I am living right now). I am transfering in November back to Virginia and we have JOINT custody with 50/50 placement. I was fighting for 50/50 still.

Everyone here said I wouldn't get it, just long weekends and summer break, yadda yadda yadda... Well, you were ALL WRONG. The judge took one look at everything, listened to my side and then my ex's lawyer said a few things..... I told her mediation is in order for this and she agreed and told my wife that if we didn't reach an agreement of at least 40/60 (me/her) that we will go back to court, assign a GAL and then come up with a schedule. She agreed with my ex and her lawyer that it is a long distance to travel but when it is done once a month, its not that bad. Having my daughter see her father is more important then the drive. The judge asked what I wanted, I told her I thought her coming down to me for 3-6 weeks at a time wouldn't be a bad thing and she agreed. Once our daughter is school age though, it will change again. Also, she agreed that I shouldn't be responible for my ex's daycare when she is with me. My ex claims that I should pay it when she is with me because she has to pay for it regardless. Judge told her to either work it out with the daycare or find another service.

 

[my life is mine]

JJ if you have any questions with military issues I will gladly answer them to the best of my ability and if I do not know I will ask the correct people for you.

 

[JacobJoel]

Thanks! my husband retires soon, but divorce is rampant it seems, in his unit and he has friends that he is seeing get fried like he did. i may take you up on that at some point.