Time sensitive question...

[profmum]

wow!.. sounds like you have some technical grounds for appeal?.. i would fire your attny,.. wasn't she the one that missed the 60 day notice:? and she does not seem aggressive enough..as upset as you are, I have to say, you were quite unprepared as well. So if you feel the judge did not understand the motion and hence ruled in that manner.. you can start an appeal.. but it will take long, quite possibly till your son is 18.
so not sure what advice to give you except.. you need a better attny..

 

[escape2paradise]

Ok... This is how it went. I really really think the judge is not clear on this motion... wording here is very crucial. This all seems to be about parenting time only, not custody.

Before our case, in the courtroom... My attorney's description of my son, whom she had never met was that he looked ashamed and was FLANKED by my ex and the sm.

The attorneys spoke to the judge, basic info. This is for family access only and the set up court ordered mediation for the modification. SM and son were asked to leave the court room. (There is a sign on the court room door that says NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.)

I was the only witness. I did not take my notes or anything with me, because I did not know what to expect. My attorney went over the basics, then confirmed the dates my son went with ex and that it was a temporary agreement which was supposed to have included both of our kids. She asked how many times I had seen our oldest or had visitation with him.

His attorney pointed out one email where I said no to changing schools, repeatedly... and she focused on how exactly I had 'checked out the school'. I told her that I had spoken to counselors and other parents etc... She asked if I knew that the school had been written up in Newsweek 4 times, my attorney objected. She then tried to have me read an excerpt off of the school's website... my attorney objected again. So she asked me why I didn't feel the school 'checked out'. I stated that our grading scale was based on an A being 97%, and that school was based on a A being 90%, our school offers the same courses and he has been in this school since Kindergarten, I believe that says more than "reputation" does for the other school. Our son does very well and I feel our school has been a huge factor in that success, I don't want to rock the boat in his junior year. She claimed an email of his gave me knowledge that he was enrolling our son in KS school. I said "that is not informing, it is a threat and there was nothing I could do about his threats. My attorney said he did not have the legal right to enroll our son."

She asked me how many baseball games I attended of his, I told her that Mr. May had signed both boys up, to play on my nights, and never gave me a schedule. I managed to get a schedule from other parents, but was not given rainout or make up games and the schedules for both our sons conflicted as they were each in different places on the same night, sometimes an hour away. I took our youngest to his games and had to miss most of Matt's. (My night so I had to take our youngest to his games... our oldest can drive himself.)

(I thought my ex would be on the stand and was ready to counter this one. He missed ALL of our youngests Thursday games because he was in a golf league and was not at the few games I was able to attend of our oldest.)

She then asked how many times I had talked to our oldest, or called him. I had no count of the number of times I called him. My ex got him a new cell phone in May and no one ever told me, so my texts and calls all went unanswered, I thought he was ignoring me and I was not given a new number. She asked if I had ever called my ex's house. I said yes, or I called or emailed my ex.

(My attorney had a copy of my email from my ex stating that I would have to arrange vistiation with our son directly and that he was very busy.)

My attorney tried to ask, on re-direct, about our youngest son still being with me, his attorney objected saying that he was not part of this motion.

I am in a daze. I thought my ex would have to take the stand... and my attorney had a whole host of emails that do show his interference...

AND custody is supposed to be with me in this state and school district. A change in schools is a joint decision, not him telling me he is going to...

I still feel like the judge himself did not understand the whole motion itself... I have no clue what to do. I would love to camp out at the govenor's or somewhere, but I need knowledge to stand on... HELP!

This does sound like the hearing got of on a tangent. What was paramount is not your access to see your son, not wether or not you approved of his new school. This was about you being the custodial parent and X not returning with no good reason for defying court order! After your attorney not knowing about the 60 day time limit, this hearing etc... you need a new attorney like yesterday!

 

[majomom1]

From my own experience w/the appeals process... you have to appeal a decision - and that hasn't been handed down officially yet - and may be being post-poned until after mediation

Is this true even if the judge didn't follow the law? Hell the court, nor my attorney even realized it had to have final disposition no later than 60 days?

We have to set a mediation day and time... we also have to split the fee. I am layed off from work so I have very little money to work with now.

I wonder if the judge even realizes that my ex is out of state... I thought the email where my ex said he would enroll our son with, or without my blessing should have raised his eyebrows....

Where do I start with senators etc.... what law do I quote or start with?

 

[tuffbrk]

Hey Majomom...what a let down, too bad this attn'y can't return your money - I've no legal expertise to offer - just wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you and I'll keep on rooting for you. Hang in there...

 

[majomom1]

This does sound like the hearing got of on a tangent. What was paramount is not your access to see your son, not wether or not you approved of his new school. This was about you being the custodial parent and X not returning with no good reason for defying court order! After your attorney not knowing about the 60 day time limit, this hearing etc... you need a new attorney like yesterday!

And there was nothing I could say or do.... from the stand, I couldn't even nudge my attorney.

But still, if it is brought to the judges attention that the family access is about custody... wouldn't he have to look at his own decision, and amend it if he is not following law?

 

[Silverplum]

Where do I start with senators etc.... what law do I quote or start with?

Start with calling. Or visiting -- it's harder to ignore you in person.

Tell the sen/rep your situation: brief, factual, but do allow some emotion -- this is not a courtroom, and you have been screwed. But bawling like Ellen (!) is not gonna help you.

Bring along some papers that show what happened. Motions or judgments or even this thread. Highlight (yellow, whatever) the pertinent facts and laws. USE CJane's quotes.

You are not an attorney. You are not expected to run this show on your own. If you don't know all of the laws, that's okay.

But TELL your reps that you have been screwed by this judge, who did not pay attention and did not enforce the law. Also the sheriffs have refused to do their duty.

ASK the reps what they can DO for you. Can they make some phone calls? Can they exert some pressure?

One of their citizens has been, essentially, kidnapped. Another of their citizens has been deprived of her son. Another citizen has been deprived of his brother. These are things the reps must hear. If they don't hear, they don't know.

Same deal with the Governor. Same deal with the press, if you have to.

 

[profmum]

Is this true even if the judge didn't follow the law? Hell the court, nor my attorney even realized it had to have final disposition no later than 60 days?

if this is true, then you have technical grounds for appealing the decision

We have to set a mediation day and time... we also have to split the fee. I am layed off from work so I have very little money to work with now.

try and work something out in mediation, some extended access.. son is 16, appeals etc together will most likely take a year or so and maybe it would be better to spend efforts on trying to work out visitation while you are either appealing or deciding what the next step is.

I wonder if the judge even realizes that my ex is out of state... I thought the email where my ex said he would enroll our son with, or without my blessing should have raised his eyebrows....

maybe you should order a transcript of the hearing to see exactly and where the misunderstanding happened? of course that could take 6-8 weeks

Where do I start with senators etc.... what law do I quote or start with?

frankly, this option may not get not get you very far.. it is a lofty response, i personally think your time and resources would be better served in first and foremost finding a new attny before your Nov modification hearing. Also i want to add if you take this route and your judge gets a wind of it with no consequences to her, she is NOT going to be happy the next time you are in court.. focus on rectifying this situation legally, that itself could be challenging.

 

[milspecgirl]

i am thinking mom needs to take dad up on offer to visit with son this weekend and then KEEP HIM! Give dad a taste of his own medicine.

 

[CJane]

Is this true even if the judge didn't follow the law? Hell the court, nor my attorney even realized it had to have final disposition no later than 60 days?

We have to set a mediation day and time... we also have to split the fee. I am layed off from work so I have very little money to work with now.

I wonder if the judge even realizes that my ex is out of state... I thought the email where my ex said he would enroll our son with, or without my blessing should have raised his eyebrows....

Where do I start with senators etc.... what law do I quote or start with?

The problem is, you don't KNOW yet that he DIDN'T follow it. You won't know until you receive 'final disposition' before that 60 day window closes.

If you DON'T receive 'final disposition' and that 60 day window HAS passed, THEN there is recourse... still working on finding what that is.

If you DO receive the decision IN WRITING prior to the 60 days, then 'we' can figure out where exactly the judge erred.

That part of it is a waiting game. And yes, it sucks big nasty... bullocks.

I would start at the bottom of the chain of command... the SD again.
I know that you know that they won't help, but do it anyway. Then call the JoCo sheriff. Same deal. Then call the MoHP... then the KsHiPo... THEN the prosecutor. THEN the reps/governor's office/AG's office.

Ad far as what to say... I would start with "My child is being held across state lines by the non-custodial parent, and local law enforcement, including the circuit judge, is refusing to enforce the court order, or the following state statutes. Given the recent and very public ending to the Porter case, I would think that this sort of thing would be taken much more seriously by everyone in the state, and especially those in the metro area.

 

[ezmarelda]

i am thinking mom needs to take dad up on offer to visit with son this weekend and then KEEP HIM! Give dad a taste of his own medicine.

that's what I was thinkin'...but I wasn't sure how "legal" that would be

 

[Zephyr]

i am thinking mom needs to take dad up on offer to visit with son this weekend and then KEEP HIM! Give dad a taste of his own medicine.

that's exactly what I'd do- but I'd probably end up in jail for it

 

[Silverplum]

it is a lofty response

ALL of my responses are "lofty!"

And, if you could, ya know, read...you'd see that my #1 recommendation was "HIRE A NEW MEAN ATTORNEY."

 

[casa]

Unfortunately, this happens in cases where teens are near the age of majority...in SOME places. Moreso if the teen wishes to stay with the NCP parent & there is a custody action pending. All the case in this situation.

Sorry Majomom This is a crack in the Family Law system IMO

The news channels probably won't bother with this story either...for the same reasons. It's vastly different than the Porter children case (where the children were too young to go anywhwere on their own & were truly abducted). In this case it's an 17 yr old (almost adult) who WANTS to be with the other parent- the other parent isn't hiding the child.

It's Contempt/Interference but not Parental Abduction. And just like most other cases of Contempt, it typically takes several times &/or it escalating TO abduction before there are any severe consequences.

 

[milspecgirl]

that's what I was thinkin'...but I wasn't sure how "legal" that would be

i'm not giving legal advice by any means, but she does have legal custody so why the heck not?

 

[casa]

i'm not giving legal advice by any means, but she does have legal custody so why the heck not?

Because, obviously NOW they have some sort of Temporary Order...since she's being assigned weekends**visitation' and the Judge did NOT impose the return of the child. Dad has temporary custody pending Mediation & then the final hearing.