Urgent request for help

[raiseretrievers]

Both parents reside in Washington, divorce and custody from Oregon.

Do I have to return my children to their great uncle at their grandmothers' house because the custodial parent no longer lives there and has given custody to the grandmother (not through the courts)?

My ex (the custodial parent) has moved from her home and is now living with her brother in Olympia. Grandmotherr claims that the CP has found a job and is just living with her brother until she can find a place of her own and have our children live with her.

I contacted the childrens' school over a month ago to find out why their telephone number was diconnnected only to find out that they were no longer going to that school, but, the transcripts were not sent out yet. So, I was given a call from the school and they let me know where the transcrpits were sent. I contacted the new school which imformed me that as far as they knew, the grandmother had custody of the children and the CP was looking for work elsewhere.

The school contacted the grandmother and she let them give me the CP's cellular phone number. During the week of Thanksgiving (and immediately following my receipt of the phone number) I made 5 attempts to reach the CP to discuss my visitation during Thanksgiving. The grandmother called on Saturday and wanted to know if I wanted the children for this weekend. Amazingly, she stood by the agreement and I have them now. I am stuck with a moral dilemma, however.

The grandmother wants me to return the children to her home tonight, and since she will not be there, wants me to just drop them off with her brother (who I have known to be a heavy drinker). In fact, grandmother grandfather, CP and uncle are all heavy drinkers. When I picked the children up from a store near the grandmothers' house (as arranged), she was sporting two 12-packs of Schmidts and motioned to my girlfriend asking if she wanted to join her instead of going back home with me. My girlfiriend scoffed at the idea.

My inclination is to keep the children with me until the CP can provide for them and proceed with legal custody. Being a weekend, I cannot get a judge for an ex-parte order and I cannot prove decisively that the children would be in immediate danger should I return them. I have some fear for them and know they will be safer and better cared for in my home.

I live down the street from a great school where they can walk to school with their semi-step-brothers. I have a great job and can provide for them in my current shared situation or on my own. I have reliable transportation and a strong desire to do the right thing for them.

Since I have had to track down my children 3 times in the past 5 years I fear that if I do anything to the CP's disliking, she'll abscond with them in a New York nimute and I'll have to track them down again. But, if I get a temporary order, she'll be less likely to violate it.

If I do not return the children to Grandmothers' house, am I kidnapping them? I have had NO contact from the CP during this entire ordeal, although I left messages indicating for her to call me to let me know what the situation is. I have a very uneasy suspicion that she is either in jail or dead or something. Why else would she never get a hold of me on the phone and has left the children with someone other than their father?

I am so unsure about how to proceed. I spoke with my oldest child (10) and he thinks I should keep him and his brother (8) at least for now. Can anyone either help me or point me in the direction of the light?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You are under no obligation to turn the children over to anyone not specifically a party to the custody order. If you do not know where the mother is, then first thing monday morning you need to file an emergency change in custody petition with the Washington courts, including a motion to domesticate the Oregon order.

Also, return here and type EXACTLY what your order from oregon states in regards to your visitation and when and to whom you are to leave the child.

More is better.

 

[raiseretrievers]

More, as requested

This is an old plan and does not reflect certain liberties we have agreed upon. My former job only allowed a full weekend every 7 weeks and we usually considered that as a given for my parenting as well as three-day weekends and other time when I was able. During soccor, my time was lessened to from after the soccor game on Saturday until Sunday early evening. Summer I have the children from about 7-8 weeks with weeklong exchanges otherwise.

This plan is from mediation dated April 11, 2000.

"Both parents have given careful thought to the proposed plan and agreed legal and physical custody of their children will be with the mother."

Parenting Plan:

1. school year provisions
2. holidays and vacations
3. religious stipulation
4. Both parents agreed to not consume alcohol 24 hours prior to and while in the presencs of their children.
5. meeting point ( 1/2 way point in Oregon, no longer applicable).
6. stipulation
7. 60 mile moving stipulation
8. Pick up and delivery to and from scheduled periods shall be prompt so that all parties can make plans accordingly.
9. Each parent shall exert every reasonable effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between the child and the other parent, and to foster a feeling of affection between the child and the other parent. Each parent shall endeavor to avoid acting in such a way as to alienate the child from the other parent or hamper the free and natural development of the child's love and respect for their parents.
10. The parents will attempt to cooperatively resolve any disputes that arise over the terms of the parenting plan. If the parents are unable to resovle a dispute, they are required to use mediation as a first recourse.
11. Other Rights ORS 107.164. When parents to notify each other of emergency circumstances or substantial change in health of child. Unless otherwise ordered by the court, both parents shall have a continuing responsibility, once a custody or protective order concerning the child is iddued, to provide addresses and contact telephone numbers to the other parent and to immediately notify the other parent of any emergency circumstances or substantial changes in the health of the child.
12. Other Rights ORS 107.154. Unless otherwise ordered by the Court, an order of sole custody to one parent shall not deprive the other parent of the following authority:
(1) receive school records
(2) government agency and law enforcement records
(3) consult with care of treatment providers
(4) aurhotize emergency medical, dental, psychological, psychiatric, etc.
(5) To apply to be the child's conservator, guardium ad litem or both.
13. The parents/parties acknowledge that as the children grow and changes, revisions may be required in the Plan and, though unable to predict such revisions, agree to remain flexible with respect to access, parental responsibility, considerations of children's wishes, etc."


Above is the jist of the plan with less relevant passages paraphrased for space.

Do I contact the police to let them know what is going on?

 

[raiseretrievers]

I only have a few hours left before I am expected to return the children. Are there any more ideas for me?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Your ex is in violation of the order, do as advised by BB, keep the children and go to court tomorrow and get an emergency order etc. Enrole the children in school, you have made your attmepts to contact your ex per the agreement. Keep a copy of the agreement with you at all times. Does the Grandmother know where you are with the children? You may want to contact a local domestic abuse group for locations of shelters or make arrangements for other shelter if needed. The grand mother was in violation of the alcohol clause as well. Keep us posted.

 

[raiseretrievers]

What to file?

I will start on the paperwork as soon as I know what to file. Is there anywhere I can go to see a sample or template? I am familiar with legal form set-up. How early do I need to file this? I have a relatively important job on Fort Lewis and work from 0330 to 1200, will I need to request time off for the AM to be there when the courts open, or can I do this after my shift in the afternoon? I have childcare set-up for tomorrow morning and can enroll my children in school tomorrow, also.

Any additional help will be greatly appreciated. I am very nervous about this whole situation but know that it is best for the children and have received ample support by respected individuals.

Thank you.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I will start on the paperwork as soon as I know what to file. Is there anywhere I can go to see a sample or template? I am familiar with legal form set-up. How early do I need to file this? I have a relatively important job on Fort Lewis and work from 0330 to 1200, will I need to request time off for the AM to be there when the courts open, or can I do this after my shift in the afternoon? I have childcare set-up for tomorrow morning and can enroll my children in school tomorrow, also.

Any additional help will be greatly appreciated. I am very nervous about this whole situation but know that it is best for the children and have received ample support by respected individuals.

Thank you.

You have a lot to do tomorrow I would think that you would want most of the day because you can't be sure how long it will take in court. The court should have all the forms you need or at least the forms for custody and to domesticate the case to Washington since both you have left Oregon. You can fill the forms out by hand if necessary. Here are two links the first a directory to the courts and the second information on the facilitator's office, they can assist you
http://www.courts.wa.gov/court_dir/ http://www.courts.wa.gov/committee/?fa=committee.home&committee_id=108
the last link is to forms
Washington Courts ... Court Forms and Instructions Click above to download court forms and access self-help resources throughout Washington State. . . ...
http://www.courts.wa.gov/
now your work is cut out, keep us posted

 

[raiseretrievers]

Where to find "Change of Venue" info

I am getting forms to fill out for my court action but, have come up with a block as to how to file for domestication (or, in WA, Change of Venue). My understanding is that the Court will not have juridiction until this process is complete.

Is there and ex-parte way to change venue and does this affect my attempts at custody modification?

The help so far has been tremendous and I am swarmed with tons of documents. I am somewhat overwhelmed but, am trudging along keeping my eye on the brass ring. I arranged to get off base at 0800 to be at the Pirece County Court Facilitator at 0830.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Then head straight for the facilitators office they can assist you with the process for domestication, there may be no form for it, you may have to make a motion or if there is, they will have the form you need to register the case in your state and county, but you should be able to file the emergency order for custody. If you start in the facilitators office they should be able to help you.
Good luck! Has Grandmother called?

 

[raiseretrievers]

I will do that.

No Grandmother has not called (yet). I did leave yet another message on the cellphone of the CP for her to call me as soon as she could. No response there yet, either.

So, if the CP shows up in the middle of the night and demands the children, what can I do?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You have done what is required of you, they have not, technically they abandoned the children. That is why I asked if you had any where to shelter the children. Perhaps since Grandmother didn't call and Mom hasn't called, they figured you are taking care of the children. It is 6pm now, when was the transfer? Remember there was supposed to be communication with mom and she hasn't, you may be right, she may be in jail.

 

[raiseretrievers]

I was asked to bring the children back to the grandmothers house to be cared for by the great uncle sometime tonight in time for the children to get showers and ready for bed. So, there will probably not be any contact until the grandmother gets home (whenever that will be).

If I go stay somewhere else with my children and they are not at my house where they are expected to be, won't I be in trouble for secreting them? It seems to me that my best bet is to have the children be here where I live so I am not accused of doing the same as they. It may be naive of me to think so, though.

Thank you for responding so quickly. I check back often since I have been constantly working on finding and filling out forms and have not left the computer for some time.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You have been trying to call Mom and she has not replied, you don't have to turn them over to anyone else, you don't even know if she is alive. Also the Both parents agreed to not consume alcohol 24 hours prior to and while in the presencs of their children.
clause, that covers GM and uncle. But your agreement is not with GM and uncle, you are the father.
Just be ready, and get on things first thing in the morning, are you taking the children with you to work or just daycare while you are taking care of business.

 

[raiseretrievers]

At this time, I have arranged to get out of work at 0800 and my girlfriend is going to stay here with them until I get out. Since I work at 0330, it is a little short notice to try to get alternate childcare. I don't know if I will take them to the courthouse with me. I might just have my GF bring them to me at the courthouse so she can go to work.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Yes best to have her bring them to the court house in the morning, hopefully everything goes ok tonight, I will be signing off for a while but am usualy up early and you need some rest too, so feel fee to post even with any update. Take Care