Urgent request for help

[raiseretrievers]

GM just called and asked where the kids were. I said right here and they and I had agreed for them to stay with me at least until their mother had a place for tehm. She pretty much exploded telling me that it was unacceptable and she was on her way to get them (about 1 1/2). I tried to tell her that I was the father and that she had no legal right to get them, but, she said she did.

I am really stressing right now. I wish I had the opportunity to have talked with their mother long before now. I still have not heard from her and still have no clue where she really is.

 

[Illinois Parent]

Contact your local police, nonemergency phone number. ASK TO SPEAK TO THE DESK SARGENT. EXPLAIN that you are the father, you have the papers, you dont know where mom is, the grandmother/great uncle are demanding you to turn over the kids to them, they have no rights. HAVE this conversation before you NEED to, in other words, before they show up on your doorstep. IF they show up, call 911. If they don't show up before you have to leave to go to work, have your girlfriend stay with them anywhere other than your house, just buying yourself enough time to get to court in the morning.

ABSOLUTELY have the girlfriend bring them to court in the morning, because the bottom line is she has no more right to them than the grandmother/great uncle does. IF they get wind of what you are going to do, mom just may show up and mom will trump girlfriend. If that happens, still by all means go to court in the mornning as mom has changed their school without your knowledge, and you still have a very strong leg to stand on. But remember, it is easier to retain 'possession' than to get it back. Good luck to you, and I would seriously think hard about going to work at all in the morning. If I were you, I would not let the kids out of my sight until you have been to court.
Good luck and let us know what happens.

 

[raiseretrievers]

I just got off the telephone with the police and was instructed to call 911 if the GM demands the children. The dispatcher said that the GM does not have any rights to the children and if she wanted them she would have to file to the courts. I feel somewhat relieved but am still a little concerned that the CP will show up out of the blue. If she does, I'm sure she'll be intoxicated so I will not have to turn the children over to her, either.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

It's 2am I see what happened so far and glad that Illinois Parent was able to take over and that the police are aware, confirmed that GM has no rights to the children and that you should be able to enforce the order until you get to court in the morning. I suppose that since there is nothing since your last post that no one showerd up and no news is good news. Keep up posted.

 

[raiseretrievers]

0300 here and no one showed up or called since the GM called last night. I'm off to work now and will continue with the quest at 0800.

More to come.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

0300 here and no one showed up or called since the GM called last night. I'm off to work now and will continue with the quest at 0800.

More to come.

Looks like GM got the message, good luck, keep us informed. Work will be difficult, also best to have children with you at the court house, also have your GF write a declaration re the GM showing up with the beer etc just to show that violation, also later you may have to get your phone records to prove your calls to CP, you may also want to get confirmation of your call to PD last night, it should have been recorded. Sorry I had to leave last night. Good Luck.

 

[raiseretrievers]

I just got back from work and nothing since last night has happened. I am going to the courthouse now and will keep you posted as to my progress.

Thanks for the good adivce. The declaration is in the works.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Good that there was no more problem, it's now 330 pst hopefully we will hear from you soon, a very long day for sure.

 

[raiseretrievers]

Update

It's 6:40 pm and I'm exhausted. I filed all of the paperwork and was able to get a temporary order until Thursday. The Commissioner said he wanted me to serve the GM if I was unable to serve the CP so that the GM would be able to alert the CP of the hearing. He also said that if the CP was not able to be located, he wanted the GM's take on the situation.

My GF had the kids (away from the house) while I did all of the trudging. We did start off by having breakfast at McDonalds so the kids could play in the indoor play area. I was able to do about half of the paperwork there until the noise got the best of me and we left.

I got the signed papers at about 1530 and had them filed with the county clerk. When I got home, noone was still here so I took the time to take a hot shower. My GF and the kids came home and I had no sooner told them what was going on then the door was knocked on loudly. I told my GF not to let anyone in, but when she opened the door a crack to see who was there it was forced open enough for the GM to say (sweetly) "I'm here to pick up a couple of kids", I immediately told her that she could not and that there was a court order in effect granting me temporary custody. She scolded that there was no court order and was able to grab my youngest son out of the door. I was then at the door and outside with the papers (I needed to have them served anyway) showing them that there was indeed a court order.

It all happened really fast, but there was the Great Uncle video taping everything and the CP was running from the van saying there was no order, it was too soon, she wasn't served. I again showed her the order and gave it to her and said "consider yourself served" as I proceeded to run toward the GM who was forcing my son down the driveway to the van. I grabbed on to him as gently as I could and without assaulting her and had his entire torso on mine with him reaching for my neck. A short tug-of-war insued and after I said that she was hurting my son I was able to get free and return him to safety in the house. "I told you he'd do this" the mother screamed at her mother and that was the last I heard. Uncle Frank continued his hold on the camera and taped what would appear in court as an event not so favorable to the assailaints.

Instead of being rational and taking the paperwork before becoming aggressive, they chose the path of violence witnessed by me, my GF, my youngest, my 2 step children and a video camera. I was able to close and lock the door and spoke with the police who had been called (911 style) by my GF when I went outside. They left. They had obviously been waiting. Stalking. My oldest revealed his hiding place shortly.

The police came and left and there is a tad more I will say tomorrow (remind me if I forget). Although this probably reads like fiction, it was real.

Now, I must prepare a case for Thursday. The mother has mysteriously appeared after being incommunicado since October 24. I don't know where she came from , although I have my suspicions. I just know she is here now and will pose a challenge for me in court. I know I have several strong arguments on my side, but, she is still the mother and I don't know how that will play out in court.

I am done for now and will prepare additional paperwork for Thursday. Tomorrow, the children will be enrolled at the school down the street and I will have another short day at work so I can watch my children.

Thank you all for your help. With the very helpful county clerk I felt like I had you with me today. It went pretty well, considering. My youngest was shaken up a bit, but really wants to stay with me now (even more than yesterday). I guess haven been nearly kidnapped by his GM had a negative impact on him.

I'll check back later. Thanks again.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Wow! What an ordeal!
Continue keeping calm, next time don't open the door to knocking if you don't know who is on the other side.
Several things,
Report the attempt at service of the papers, usually it has to be served by someone else but considering the circumstances and that the police were called the commissioner should allow it since it is an emergency order anyway and you verbally informed them that there was an order. The court will tell you the next step, if they want you to still attempt service or serve by mail, they can find out when the hearing is without service and may or not show up. Let the court know who had the video tape, as you say it shows their violations.
Apply for Domestic Violence restraining orders to cover your home, school etc. if you didn't already.
Notify the school that no one other than you and/or your gf is to pick up any of the 4 children, provide them with copies of the orders.
Get a copy of the police report from tonight.
Write more declarations, 1 for each witness, you can write for the children, video tape the children, be prepared to bring the children as witnesses to court.
Apply for GAL for children.
Were they drinking?
Obviously if mom failed to communicate since 10-24-4 with all your attempts, she was in contempt of the order, nor had she registered with the court and if she had moved them, changed their schools without notice and failed to communicate, she had abducted them, there are statutes for that.
Hang in there.

Don't forget to get the child support modified and to petition for your costs.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Here are some links to information on custody and parental kidnapping the first link gives many links to assist you.
http://www.ncjrs.org/html/ojjdp/jjbul2001_12_2/page8.html
The second includes state specific information so you will know your rights and how to better protect your children and present your case, this is important because of her violations of the order and denial of your parenting time and hiding the children, even the fact that she concealed her presence while attempting to abduct the children, violation of the order and failure to communicate, there is also a section about relatives that I didn't print out. You can also find the laws for Oregon as well
http://findthekids.org/abdbystate.html

Washington Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act:

Revised Codes of Washington:
Custodial Interference in the First Degree:
RCW 9A.40.060
Custodial interference in the first degree.

(1) A relative of a child under the age of eighteen or of an incompetent person is guilty of custodial interference in the first degree if, with the intent to deny access to the child or incompetent person by a parent, guardian, institution, agency, or other person having a lawful right to physical custody of such person, the relative takes, entices, retains, detains, or conceals the child or incompetent person from a parent, guardian, institution, agency, or other person having a lawful right to physical custody of such person and:

(a) Intends to hold the child or incompetent person permanently or for a protracted period; or

(b) Exposes the child or incompetent person to a substantial risk of illness or physical injury; or

(c) Causes the child or incompetent person to be removed from the state of usual residence; or

(d) Retains, detains, or conceals the child or incompetent person in another state after expiration of any authorized visitation period with intent to intimidate or harass a parent, guardian, institution, agency, or other person having lawful right to physical custody or to prevent a parent, guardian, institution, agency, or other person with lawful right to physical custody from regaining custody.

(2) A parent of a child is guilty of custodial interference in the first degree if the parent takes, entices, retains, detains, or conceals the child, with the intent to deny access, from the other parent having the lawful right to time with the child pursuant to a court-ordered parenting plan, and:

(a) Intends to hold the child permanently or for a protracted period; or

(b) Exposes the child to a substantial risk of illness or physical injury; or

(c) Causes the child to be removed from the state of usual residence.

(3) A parent or other person acting under the directions of the parent is guilty of custodial interference in the first degree if the parent or other person intentionally takes, entices, retains, or conceals a child, under the age of eighteen years and for whom no lawful custody order or parenting plan has been entered by a court of competent jurisdiction, from the other parent with intent to deprive the other parent from access to the child permanently or for a protracted period.

(4) Custodial interference in the first degree is a class C felony.

[1998 c 55 § 1; 1994 c 162 § 1; 1984 c 95 § 1.]

NOTES:
Severability -- 1984 c 95: "If any provision of this act or its application to any person or circumstance is held invalid, the remainder of the act or the application of the provision to other persons or circumstances is not affected." [1984 c 95 § 8.]

Custodial Interference, Assessment of costs:
RCW 9A.40.080
Custodial interference -- Assessment of costs -- Defense -- Consent defense, restricted.

(1) Any reasonable expenses incurred in locating or returning a child or incompetent person shall be assessed against a defendant convicted under RCW 9A.40.060 or 9A.40.070.

(2) In any prosecution of custodial interference in the first or second degree, it is a complete defense, if established by the defendant by a preponderance of the evidence, that:

(a) The defendant's purpose was to protect the child, incompetent person, or himself or herself from imminent physical harm, that the belief in the existence of the imminent physical harm was reasonable, and that the defendant sought the assistance of the police, sheriff's office, protective agencies, or the court of any state before committing the acts giving rise to the charges or within a reasonable time thereafter;

(b) The complainant had, prior to the defendant committing the acts giving rise to the crime, for a protracted period of time, failed to exercise his or her rights to physical custody or access to the child under a court-ordered parenting plan or order granting visitation rights, provided that such failure was not the direct result of the defendant's denial of access to such person;

(c) The acts giving rise to the charges were consented to by the complainant; or

(d) The offender, after providing or making a good faith effort to provide notice to the person entitled to access to the child, failed to provide access to the child due to reasons that a reasonable person would believe were directly related to the welfare of the child, and allowed access to the child in accordance with the court order within a reasonable period of time. The burden of proof that the denial of access was reasonable is upon the person denying access to the child.

(3) Consent of a child less than sixteen years of age or of an incompetent person does not constitute a defense to an action under RCW 9A.40.060 or 9A.40.070.

[1989 c 318 § 5; 1984 c 95 § 3.]

NOTES:

Severability -- 1989 c 318: See note following RCW 26.09.160.

Severability -- 1984 c 95: See note following RCW 9A.40.060.

Child custody, action by relative: RCW 26.09.255.

Continued in the next post......

 

[rmet4nzkx]

continued
Failure to comply with order: This includes a violation of parenting time.
RCW 26.09.160
Failure to comply with decree or temporary injunction -- Obligation to make support or maintenance payments or permit contact with children not suspended -- Penalties.

(1) The performance of parental functions and the duty to provide child support are distinct responsibilities in the care of a child. If a party fails to comply with a provision of a decree or temporary order of injunction, the obligation of the other party to make payments for support or maintenance or to permit contact with children is not suspended. An attempt by a parent, in either the negotiation or the performance of a parenting plan, to condition one aspect of the parenting plan upon another, to condition payment of child support upon an aspect of the parenting plan, to refuse to pay ordered child support, to refuse to perform the duties provided in the parenting plan, or to hinder the performance by the other parent of duties provided in the parenting plan, shall be deemed bad faith and shall be punished by the court by holding the party in contempt of court and by awarding to the aggrieved party reasonable attorneys' fees and costs incidental in bringing a motion for contempt of court.

(2)(a) A motion may be filed to initiate a contempt action to coerce a parent to comply with an order establishing residential provisions for a child. If the court finds there is reasonable cause to believe the parent has not complied with the order, the court may issue an order to show cause why the relief requested should not be granted.

(b) If, based on all the facts and circumstances, the court finds after hearing that the parent, in bad faith, has not complied with the order establishing residential provisions for the child, the court shall find the parent in contempt of court. Upon a finding of contempt, the court shall order:

(i) The noncomplying parent to provide the moving party additional time with the child. The additional time shall be equal to the time missed with the child, due to the parent's noncompliance;

(ii) The parent to pay, to the moving party, all court costs and reasonable attorneys' fees incurred as a result of the noncompliance, and any reasonable expenses incurred in locating or returning a child; and

(iii) The parent to pay, to the moving party, a civil penalty, not less than the sum of one hundred dollars.

The court may also order the parent to be imprisoned in the county jail, if the parent is presently able to comply with the provisions of the court-ordered parenting plan and is presently unwilling to comply. The parent may be imprisoned until he or she agrees to comply with the order, but in no event for more than one hundred eighty days.

(3) On a second failure within three years to comply with a residential provision of a court-ordered parenting plan, a motion may be filed to initiate contempt of court proceedings according to the procedure set forth in subsection (2)(a) and (b) of this section. On a finding of contempt under this subsection, the court shall order:

(a) The noncomplying parent to provide the other parent or party additional time with the child. The additional time shall be twice the amount of the time missed with the child, due to the parent's noncompliance;

(b) The noncomplying parent to pay, to the other parent or party, all court costs and reasonable attorneys' fees incurred as a result of the noncompliance, and any reasonable expenses incurred in locating or returning a child; and

(c) The noncomplying parent to pay, to the moving party, a civil penalty of not less than two hundred fifty dollars.

The court may also order the parent to be imprisoned in the county jail, if the parent is presently able to comply with the provisions of the court-ordered parenting plan and is presently unwilling to comply. The parent may be imprisoned until he or she agrees to comply with the order but in no event for more than one hundred eighty days.

(4) For purposes of subsections (1), (2), and (3) of this section, the parent shall be deemed to have the present ability to comply with the order establishing residential provisions unless he or she establishes otherwise by a preponderance of the evidence. The parent shall establish a reasonable excuse for failure to comply with the residential provision of a court-ordered parenting plan by a preponderance of the evidence.

(5) Any monetary award ordered under subsections (1), (2), and (3) of this section may be enforced, by the party to whom it is awarded, in the same manner as a civil judgment.

(6) Subsections (1), (2), and (3) of this section authorize the exercise of the court's power to impose remedial sanctions for contempt of court and is in addition to any other contempt power the court may possess.

(7) Upon motion for contempt of court under subsections (1) through (3) of this section, if the court finds the motion was brought without reasonable basis, the court shall order the moving party to pay to the nonmoving party, all costs, reasonable attorneys' fees, and a civil penalty of not less than one hundred dollars.

[1991 c 367 § 4; 1989 c 318 § 1; 1987 c 460 § 12; 1973 1st ex.s. c 157 § 16.]

NOTES:
Severability -- Effective date -- Captions not law -- 1991 c 367: See notes following RCW 26.09.015.

Severability -- 1989 c 318: "If any provision of this act or its application to any person or circumstance is held invalid, the remainder of the act or the application of the provision to other persons or circumstances is not affected." [1989 c 318 § 6.]

 

[raiseretrievers]

Now THAT'S alot to read. I will look into all of the applicable points and try to address them in court. I think instead of spoken testimony, I will write something out that addresses all of the issues and concerns (as well as all of the violations).

What I had intentionally left out yesterday (you never know who could stumble upon this website) was that the copies of the orders I served the CP with and the copy I had did not have the commissioners' signature on them. When the police came, they said that if the CP came back it would be a tough call as to what to do because of the lack of signage. I went to the clerk this morning and got signed copies of the TRO and have them in my possession. The clerk said that the papers I served the CP (caught on video) are sufficient for the purposes of coming to court prepared and since the CP and GM were there, I accomplished what the commissioner wanted. Hey, what else can one expect in such short notice.


I am now enrolling my children in school and must submit my paperwork ASAP, so I will check back later and work through the legalities.

In answer to your question, it all happened so fast that I could smell or detect nothing accept getting my son to safety. So I have no idea if they had been drinking. It would have been agonizingly stupid on their part to have done so with the possibility of police action. I bet they drank pretty heavilly afterwards!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Does mom and GM know the time and place for the hearing since they didn't take the papers? Maybe they won't show, but don't count on it. Also best if they do show up in court that they be asked for the entire tape, not a copy in case they edit it.

So you have done your due dilligence on service. Hopefully the statutes will help you with your case, at least you had a court order and they violated the one from Washington state also. Mom may go back to Oregon and file there so don't be surprised, so a part of what you will have to do is prove the change in jurisdiction, in addition to the violations.

Make sure you file the signed copy with your proof of service with the PD now that that is resolved, hopefully the clerk provided you with a filed copy of the proof of service, not just a verbal "OK" or you may have another trip to the court. Hopefully all will be quiet tonight.

How are the children doing today?

 

[raiseretrievers]

The children are doing great. They start their new school tomorrow morning and I felt like such a proud parent to enroll my own children in school! This experience is making me feel more alive in that I actually have a chance to keep my children in my life! (Yes, I gave the school a copy of the TRO). Their former school was totally cooperative and sent the immunization records by FAX immediately upon request. You may recall, I had to contact the school in order to find my children and the principal understood that the GM was the custodian.

Funny phone call from the Lewis County Sheriff re:a clarinet that I supposedly stole from the GM's van at the children pick-up on Friday. GM told the detective that I went into the van and stole the clarinet and she screamed at me to come back with it. I laughed and said she needed to talk to my son. His end of the conversation made it clear that HE had taken HIS clarinet (a gift to him from the GM) to his father's house, as was customary during visits. When I got back on the phone with the detective she said the GM had tried to get the MP's at Fort Lewis involved to cause trouble for me, but, they told her it was a civilian matter (I am a civilian Lead Cook for 250 soldiers) and not a Federal or Army matter therfore she needed to contact the sheriff from the county the event took place.

The detective said that me putting my son on the phone was the best thing I could do because he said it like it was with no prodding. She is filing this as an information only situation and suggested that I just return the gift to the GM at court and buy my son a new clarinet. Exactly what I will do (well, maybe a good used one). I, of course, got the case#, detective's name, badge# and the telephone number for the records division where the detective said I could have them FAX a copy of the report to me tomorrow afternoon. Wow, GM is a drunk AND a liar. Let's give her custody! I am amused by people who cannot think three-dimensionally (or even two-dimensionally, in this case).

Anyway, they did take a copy of the papers yesterday during the scuffle and I will file my service papers as best as I can given the timeframe and circumstances. After all, the service WAS caught on tape, now wasn't it?


Well, rmet4nzkx (if that is your REAL name), I am feeling much more positive and relaxed due to many factors. Not the least of these is having you hang around to help me through this. I thank you very much. I also thank the others who have offered their assistance - Illinois Parent and BelizeBreeze, and anyone else who may actually be watching and rooting for the underdog.

I't's Kid Eat Free night at Denny's, with a limit of two children per adult so we will score with buying two adult meals! I'll check back later to examine the laws.

ciao