The link that Illinois Parent refered to is in the references I supplied yesterday, yes they can be very helpful. You have a great learning curve here, a lot to learn in a short time. I'm glad that we have been helpful and that you have kept a level head through this ordeal. It is the best interest of your childen first and formost that is at stake and a part of this is providing for a stable home environment and to nurture both parental relationships. So, what you will ask for, will not totally shut out their mom. If you don't become custodial parent, ask to share custody 50/50, but since she has no stable environment currently, hopefully the judge will rule in your favor, at least for a time. Don't forget about child support changes.
Insofar as the clarinet, remember if they show the tape, the supposed theft won't show. Good that your son confirmed that he normally brought the clarinet with him on visits. That they went to the trouble to contact the police regarding that and it was a false issue shows how little they have. Good you got the case #.
Also give a copy of the papers to the MP's at Ft. Lewis even though it is a civil matter, because that will further show that you are following the court's order. Again, showing their despiration and lack of basis for their claims.
Another fact you mentioned, re their last school, that they believed the GM was custodian and also when you originally contacted them, that was how you got the number for the mom and that at that time they thought GM had custody. Remember, even with the cel phone # all communications were with GM, not mom. Both showing that the court's order was violated and deception used in mom's parental abduction. You are lucky to have been able to locate the children and regain custody.
Since they took a copy of the orders expect them to show up on Thursday, even though you have a good case, anything can still happen. Important to be sure you file the proof of service, also the fact that they contacted the sheriff's department and Ft. Lewis, shows they are aware of the order and that you are acting under the court's order. It will be interesting for mom to explain to the court her reason for deception rather than to leave the children with you if she really was just looking for work, because the original court order did not allow for her to just give custody to anyone without a modification of the order and if she had not meant to deceive, would have done that prior to leaving Oregon or before handing the children over to GM. It sounds as if GM may be the manipuptive one running the show based on Mom's words during the event the other night and the fact that it was GM who came to the door and mom hiding in the van. Or is this due to mom's substance abuse?
The critical issues in getting custody on Thursday will be establishing the fact that mom and GM intentionally violated all the court's orders and that that was not in the best interest of the children. That you have been following the court's order and mom refused to communicate re the children shows her attempts to interfere with your visitation and relationship with your children. Both of these are points in the statutes previously cited. If your old parers had allowed mom to transfer custody to GM without the courts approval, the comissoner would not have granted you tempoary custody, but by giving her the opportunity to tell her side will allow her and mom to argue that the best interest is served by them having custody. So they will look for everything you may or not have done in the past to use against you, ignoring what they have done and they will bring these allegations into court on Thursday. That being the case, not only will you have to do your best to prove your case, but be prepared to answer their allegations without time to prepare, so ask for a continuance to allow for time to answer their allegations, unless you have what you need there already. This will not be the last hearing. Make sure that when the new visitation orders are made that you ask for supervised visitation at a safe place such as through DCFS or appropriate agency, so you don't have any more repeats of recent events or future attempts to abduct the children, that is why you will want protective orders protecting your home, work and their schools. Also, prepare your children fo rthe fact that the commissioner may allow them some time to visit at court with their mother. What your children have to say will likely be important.
You have lot to do, little time to do it, and even with the best preparation, will never feel like you have covered everything. If they show up with an attorney on Thursday, figure that you will need one also, even so they will have a hard time explaining what they have done already given the history with an attorney and the fact that they failed to modify the custody through the courts and planned instead to deceive you. I'm glad you are trying to establish a routine and having activities to distract the children. The children's welfare first and formost. Good luck.
info:
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)
Charles B. Wang International Children’s Building
699 Prince Street
Alexandria, VA 22314–3175
800–843–5678
703–274–2220 (fax)
[email protected]
www.missingkids.com
NCMEC is a private, nonprofit clearinghouse that was established in 1984 and operates under a congressional mandate. A resource center for child protection, NCMEC collects and distributes information on missing and exploited children and operates a national toll-free hotline, 800–THE–LOST (800–843–5678), for individuals to report missing children or request information. NCMEC assists families and can be of tremendous help to law enforcement in case management, case tracking, lead and information analysis, and coordination of responses across jurisdictional lines.
