Violating protective order on accident

[Thingsyoudo1]

I love in Indiana and my ex has filed an order against me. He works for a security company that sends employees to events all over the city. Since I have no idea which of these events he could be at, what happens if I go and he is there? At sporting events, he works on the floor with the teams. Does that mean I can't be in the stands during a game? Or if he is working at the gate to a concert...can I attend the concert? I feel like I am going to be stuck in my house because if I should go somewhere without knowing he will be there, and it turns out he IS there, I could be arrested!

 

[quincy]

I love in Indiana and my ex has filed an order against me. He works for a security company that sends employees to events all over the city. Since I have no idea which of these events he could be at, what happens if I go and he is there? At sporting events, he works on the floor with the teams. Does that mean I can't be in the stands during a game? Or if he is working at the gate to a concert...can I attend the concert? I feel like I am going to be stuck in my house because if I should go somewhere without knowing he will be there, and it turns out he IS there, I could be arrested!

Have you already been to court on this protective order - or is this an ex parte order (obtained by your ex on an emergency basis)?

A lot depends on how the order is worded but if you know or suspect your ex will be attending an event, you are definitely best off avoiding the event.

 

[quincy]

Here is a link to the new thread you started which answered the question I asked of you here:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/its-basically-his-word-against-mine.655122/
All further questions and comments should be added to this thread. Thanks.

You said in your other thread that you have a hearing on the protective order coming up. You should be especially careful to adhere to all of the terms of the ex parte order, which means you would be very smart to avoid all places where you know or suspect your ex will be. You do not want to be arrested for violating the order before the hearing.

You would benefit from having an attorney with you at the upcoming hearing. The attorney can best present to the court for you the reasons why this temporary order should not become a permanent order.

Your ex could provide the court with phone records, possibly evidence of email tampering, and possibly the fake account he says you created. Your ex may have witnesses available to testify.

You will want to be prepared with any evidence you have (like the phone lease) and any witnesses who can testify on your behalf.

IF a permanent protective order IS issued, you will want clarification on whether you can attend events where your ex might be working and an explanation of what happens if you accidentally violate the terms.

Good luck.

 

[commentator]

Definitely get an attorney. Because it sounds like you've constructed a structurally shaky bunch of excuses for how you've perhaps violated the order "accidentally" If he shows up for court with some proof of any kind that you actually did even SOME of these things he says you have done, it's going to make you sound much less believable overall

You need to let the attorney do the talking for you. Frankly your explanations of what happened and why it happened to happen are quite shaky. Stay off Facebook and other social platforms for a while. If highly motivated, I'd think you could see your way clear to avoid events he might be working in the near future.

 

[quincy]

The issue with protective orders is that judges tend to err on the side of caution and, if there is any doubt as to the validity of the claims being made, the protective order will remain in place. It is a "better safe than sorry" ruling.

When you are at the upcoming hearing, you should bring up the fact that your ex owes you money on the phone lease. That you were trying to collect what was owed you explains (at least some of) the phone calls you made.

Without forensic evidence, the email tampering and fake online account claims might not help in your ex's quest for a permanent order. I would worry more about any other incidents between the two of you that have witness support.

 

[Thingsyoudo1]

Have you already been to court on this protective order - or is this an ex parte order (obtained by your ex on an emergency basis)?

A lot depends on how the order is worded but if you know or suspect your ex will be attending an event, you are definitely best off avoiding the event.

We have not been to court yet. The problem is he could be anywhere in the city. If we end up in the same grocery store, can I be arrested? I don't have his work schedule so I have no way of knowing which places he could be at. I don't want to be at a concert and half way through, notice him, and have to leave or be arrested.

Definitely get an attorney. Because it sounds like you've constructed a structurally shaky bunch of excuses for how you've perhaps violated the order "accidentally" If he shows up for court with some proof of any kind that you actually did even SOME of these things he says you have done, it's going to make you sound much less believable overall

You need to let the attorney do the talking for you. Frankly your explanations of what happened and why it happened to happen are quite shaky. Stay off Facebook and other social platforms for a while. If highly motivated, I'd think you could see your way clear to avoid events he might be working in the near future.

I have not violated anything, so I don't have an "explanation of what happened and why it happened". My question was what happens if we both show up at the same place? He works security at whatever event he is sent to, so I have no idea of knowing ahead of time if he will be working there or not. What happens if we run into each other at the mall or grocery? I can't just sit in my house and never go anywhere because he MIGHT be there. I came here seeking advice because I have never been through something like this. I don't appreciate being talked to like I am stupid and lying. Your tone is why people cant stand lawyers. Why don't you do what you are here for, which should be to help, not tear down.

 

[quincy]

We have not been to court yet. The problem is he could be anywhere in the city. If we end up in the same grocery store, can I be arrested? I don't have his work schedule so I have no way of knowing which places he could be at. I don't want to be at a concert and half way through, notice him, and have to leave or be arrested.

I have not violated anything, so I don't have an "explanation of what happened and why it happened". My question was what happens if we both show up at the same place? He works security at whatever event he is sent to, so I have no idea of knowing ahead of time if he will be working there or not. What happens if we run into each other at the mall or grocery? I can't just sit in my house and never go anywhere because he MIGHT be there. I came here seeking advice because I have never been through something like this. I don't appreciate being talked to like I am stupid and lying. Your tone is why people cant stand lawyers. Why don't you do what you are here for, which should be to help, not tear down.

Please be nice to all of the volunteers on this forum. Thanks.

What does the protective order say about distance that must be kept between you (e.g., 100') - or doesn't the order address this at all?

IF a permanent order is issued, this is a condition that should be clearly spelled out so you know what you must do (and not do) to be in compliance.

Incidental encounters (generally) are not an issue. If you are grocery shopping and your ex appears, you (generally) do not have to stop shopping and leave the store. It is when incidental encounters seem more than coincidental (when you happen to be wherever your ex is with no good reason for you being where you are) that the encounter is likely to have consequences for you.

That said, any time you are in violation of the terms of the protective order, your ex can call the police. The protective order is in place because your ex (based on legitimate concerns or not) has persuaded the court that you are a threat.

You will want an attorney's help. You should not go to the hearing without one.

Although your attorney will advise you on the following in more detail, the major thing you need to remember at the hearing is that the judge is judging you, not only on the facts you present but on your appearance and on your attitude.

Good luck.

 

[Just Blue]

We have not been to court yet. The problem is he could be anywhere in the city. If we end up in the same grocery store, can I be arrested? I don't have his work schedule so I have no way of knowing which places he could be at. I don't want to be at a concert and half way through, notice him, and have to leave or be arrested.

I have not violated anything, so I don't have an "explanation of what happened and why it happened". My question was what happens if we both show up at the same place? He works security at whatever event he is sent to, so I have no idea of knowing ahead of time if he will be working there or not. What happens if we run into each other at the mall or grocery? I can't just sit in my house and never go anywhere because he MIGHT be there. I came here seeking advice because I have never been through something like this. I don't appreciate being talked to like I am stupid and lying. Your tone is why people cant stand lawyers. Why don't you do what you are here for, which should be to help, not tear down.

Did you read the TOS of this site? If not...read it.

It's really unfortunate that your "can't stand lawyers" ,because an attorney is go to be needed to prevent an RO being issued against you.