Visitation clothing ???

[girliegirl_07]

What is the name of your state? Iowa
I know this is not really a "legal" question but there are so many people to get an opinion from on here that I wanted to see what you all think.

My husband's ex refuses to send clothes, coats, snow pants, boots, etc with the children on his EOW visitations. He sent her an email on Friday to remind her to send coats with the kids for the weekend, as it is getting cooler. She sent a reply " She will bring her coat today, as you don't have anything that fits. After this, no. You have ample time to purchase appropriate winter clothing". My husband and I both feel this is ridiculous that she expects us to go out and purchase winter clothing and clothes for the kids for our house when he is already paying for 1/2 of the clothes they have. She sent them last year only when he made prior requests for them, otherwise the kids would get into our car without any coats on, even in the middle of winter.

Any thoughts?? Any suggestions as to what he should say to her about sending these essentials with the children.

 

[moburkes]

How are YOU paying for 1/2 of the kids' clothing? Go to goodwill, and buy winter clothing for the kids. Its cheap. Have it in the car for pick ups.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh good grief. GROW UP AND GET OVER IT! why can't dad buy a coat for his children? Goodwill sells them for $5.00 if that. Unless the court order specifically states that mom is to provide all clothing then dad should be providing clothing for his child as well. To not do so is petty, childish, and immature. Legally dad has responsibilities for making sure that his children are properly taken care of when they are at his house and that includes clothing. As for the ex being ridiculous because "we are already paying for 1/2 of the clothes they have" you are the ones being ridiculous. Unless the court order states specifically that you are paying funds (and YOU by the way are NOT paying anything because daddy is paying and is the only party to paying child support) that provide half the clothing, then what daddy is paying is child support which is a reumbursement of expenses for the children while they are in mom's care.
Legally, you are in the wrong. Non-legally you are wrong. Either way, buy the kids coats.

 

[moburkes]

Good morning, OG. Thanks! The UMICH OSTATE game is coming up. Can't wait! I vote for UMICH!

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Iowa
I know this is not really a "legal" question but there are so many people to get an opinion from on here that I wanted to see what you all think.

My husband's ex refuses to send clothes, coats, snow pants, boots, etc with the children on his EOW visitations. He sent her an email on Friday to remind her to send coats with the kids for the weekend, as it is getting cooler. She sent a reply " She will bring her coat today, as you don't have anything that fits. After this, no. You have ample time to purchase appropriate winter clothing". My husband and I both feel this is ridiculous that she expects us to go out and purchase winter clothing and clothes for the kids for our house when he is already paying for 1/2 of the clothes they have. She sent them last year only when he made prior requests for them, otherwise the kids would get into our car without any coats on, even in the middle of winter.

Any thoughts?? Any suggestions as to what he should say to her about sending these essentials with the children.

It's been my experience (in CA, not Ohio) that when parents begin to bicker over who's providing what clothes when~ the court just orders both parents to provide their own sets.

There are 2nd hand stores with good quality coats/winter clothes...Thrift stores...even Wal-Mart can provide inexpensive coats/boots. Keep a set for them @ Dad's & solve the problem. For whatever reason, Mom is playing games with clothing....Dad needs to refuse to participate in the insanity.

 

[girliegirl_07]

I have three of my own children and when my children did go to their Dad's I never expected him to go out and purchase clothes for them for his house. Why is it such a big deal to pack a couple outfits and the coats on their backs?

I know I don't pay his cs. I guess that word "we" is taboo on this site.

 

[casa]

I have three of my own children and when my children did go to their Dad's I never expected him to go out and purchase clothes for them for his house. Why is it such a big deal to pack a couple outfits and the coats on their backs?

I know I don't pay his cs. I guess that word "we" is taboo on this site.

I do the same...however, just because you or I do that, doesn't mean everyone else will. It's apples & oranges~ You are not her, she is not you.

"We" is not taboo on this site specifically...it's pretty taboo everywhere. These are not your children...they are your husband & his X wife's children. That is the legal standpoint, not a personal one.

 

[Ohiogal]

Good morning, OG. Thanks! The UMICH OSTATE game is coming up. Can't wait! I vote for UMICH!

Some would say you are a traitor! Considering I used to live in Youngstown and saw the YSU team coached by Tressel, I am voting OSU. Nothing wrong with a little friendly rivalry. I just hate the idiots that decide burning and destruction of property to celebrate a win is the way to do it.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have three of my own children and when my children did go to their Dad's I never expected him to go out and purchase clothes for them for his house. Why is it such a big deal to pack a couple outfits and the coats on their backs?

I know I don't pay his cs. I guess that word "we" is taboo on this site.

Yes mom should dress them appropriately as should dad. The problem comes when dad wants the kids outfitted with boots, snowpants, and anything else. Plus cheap clothes can be great weekend wear for kids. If mom is sending junior in a fall jacket, dad shouldn't be stating that winter coats are what the kids need because he wants to take them sledding/skiing/skating and so on.
And "we" is taboo in the realm of family court. There are boundaries that have been set for parents and stepparents. You need to understand your place in it.

 

[moburkes]

Some would say you are a traitor! Considering I used to live in Youngstown and saw the YSU team coached by Tressel, I am voting OSU. Nothing wrong with a little friendly rivalry. I just hate the idiots that decide burning and destruction of property to celebrate a win is the way to do it.

Yep, I'm a traitor! Glad to admit it! I agree about the destruction. They're idiots.

 

[ceara19]

Why is it such a big deal to pack a couple outfits and the coats on their backs?

Why is it such a big deal to go out and buy a couple of a outfits for the kids to wear while they are at your house? Having their own things, like clothing, that are kept at dad's house also makes it feel more like they are at home and not just visiting.

 

[girliegirl_07]

We do have clothes for them at our house. All we are asking for her to send is their winter coats, snow pants & boots. When they already have them they could just as well bring them along. They each have a dresser full of clothes, so we do provide clothes for them. This is just another one of her control games she loves to play.

 

[moburkes]

And you're apparently playing it with her. This thread could have/should have ended long ago, but you keep wanting to assert your point of view, which is clearly different from the other parent's point of view. Get over it., buy the clothes, and there will be nothing to argue about.

 

[ceara19]

We do have clothes for them at our house. All we are asking for her to send is their winter coats, snow pants & boots. When they already have them they could just as well bring them along. They each have a dresser full of clothes, so we do provide clothes for them. This is just another one of her control games she loves to play.

There would be no point in mom playing "control games" with you. The outcome would ALWAYS be the same. Mom will win hands down every time over you. It sounds like YOU are the one trying gain some kind of control over a situation that is frankly none of YOUR business.

 

[CJane]

All we are asking for her to send is their winter coats, snow pants & boots.

And apparently, mom thinks that's too much to ask. So get over it.

My kids have complete wardrobes at each house because it's easier than not. Too often, when we first got divorced, I'd send something to ex's house and fail to get it back, or he'd send something to my house and not get it back. Or the kids would leave his house when it was 60* and sunny, so they weren't wearing coats and a cold front would move in and it'd be 20* and raining the following morning.

So it's just easier to make sure that every need they have is met at both houses.