Visitation Modification

[EmmeRose]

I have all the email proof that I have tried seeing my daughter repeatedly. Every time it would be "she doesn't want to see you now." or "She's at my mom's house this weekend so you can't have her." I would call and ask to talk to her and nobody would answer the phone. I would get an email about 20 minutes later saying "Sorry, she's too busy to talk to you." I have literally over a hundred emails from my ex. She's on the computer constantly and she will tell me over and over how much she doesn't want me seeing my daughter.

I wasn't going to drive almost 6 hours, show up at her OLD house and not be able to see my child. Mind you, she moved and told me but wouldn't give me an address, it wasn't until I threatened her with court papers that I have her new address. I now know her new address but now the court is on Wed so I'm not going there anyway.

Oh and police do nothing, been there, tried that. She got her way. The only thing this police has done for me is forcing my ex to move back when she fled and kidnapped my daughter and brought her to WA to be with a guy she met online while I was active duty. She never got into trouble over it, just that she had to move back so she did. Other than that, the police haven't done anything to help me.

Emmerose is neither my name, my child's name, my ex's name, or my g/f's name but thanks for assuming things that you don't know.
I would never share those things as they are private.
And there is no use "impressing" a fake person is there?

 

[stealth2]

You really do not understand. I suggest an attorney.

 

[gr8rn]

I have all the email proof that I have tried seeing my daughter repeatedly. Every time it would be "she doesn't want to see you now." or "She's at my mom's house this weekend so you can't have her." I would call and ask to talk to her and nobody would answer the phone. I would get an email about 20 minutes later saying "Sorry, she's too busy to talk to you." I have literally over a hundred emails from my ex. She's on the computer constantly and she will tell me over and over how much she doesn't want me seeing my daughter.

I wasn't going to drive almost 6 hours, show up at her OLD house and not be able to see my child. Mind you, she moved and told me but wouldn't give me an address, it wasn't until I threatened her with court papers that I have her new address. I now know her new address but now the court is on Wed so I'm not going there anyway.

Oh and police do nothing,

So you basically did nothing to enforce the court order. So technicallly, you can't really file contempt because you did not attempt to enforce the order.
So what do you expect to happen on Wednesday?

 

[EmmeRose]

The Results

So, I went to court on that Wednesday and gave it my all. Her lawyer was an idiot and the judge wouldn't hear a word from anyone except me. My ex brought 3 witnesses to take the stand and explain how my daughter can't be away from her mother but the judge wouldn't even let them get up from their seats. It was awesome!
My ex never spoke but her lawyer would say things like "My client doesn't want ____ having his daughter because he plays video games and he he might ignore her and just play video games all day." The judge replied "I play video games too."
So, after the court, my ex walked out of the court room crying and couldn't believe that I was going to be able to see my daughter.
It took over a week to get the paperwork done and in the end everything is good on my part. The only thing I didn't like was that instead of the 5 weeks every summer, I can only see her two non-consecutive weeks in the summer because the lawyer kept pushing that my daughter can't be away from her mother and she's too young.
I didn't have to pay a dime of her $1500 court fees because it is stated "the father brought the matter up in good faith."
I'm happy about it and now I get to see my daughter at the end of this month already! Thank you for all the advice!

 

[LdiJ]

So, I went to court on that Wednesday and gave it my all. Her lawyer was an idiot and the judge wouldn't hear a word from anyone except me. My ex brought 3 witnesses to take the stand and explain how my daughter can't be away from her mother but the judge wouldn't even let them get up from their seats. It was awesome!
My ex never spoke but her lawyer would say things like "My client doesn't want ____ having his daughter because he plays video games and he he might ignore her and just play video games all day." The judge replied "I play video games too."
So, after the court, my ex walked out of the court room crying and couldn't believe that I was going to be able to see my daughter.
It took over a week to get the paperwork done and in the end everything is good on my part. The only thing I didn't like was that instead of the 5 weeks every summer, I can only see her two non-consecutive weeks in the summer because the lawyer kept pushing that my daughter can't be away from her mother and she's too young.
I didn't have to pay a dime of her $1500 court fees because it is stated "the father brought the matter up in good faith."
I'm happy about it and now I get to see my daughter at the end of this month already! Thank you for all the advice!

Ok...you got a long distance visitation plan which was to be expected. Was mom held in contempt?

 

[mistoffolees]

So, I went to court on that Wednesday and gave it my all. Her lawyer was an idiot and the judge wouldn't hear a word from anyone except me. My ex brought 3 witnesses to take the stand and explain how my daughter can't be away from her mother but the judge wouldn't even let them get up from their seats. It was awesome!
My ex never spoke but her lawyer would say things like "My client doesn't want ____ having his daughter because he plays video games and he he might ignore her and just play video games all day." The judge replied "I play video games too."
So, after the court, my ex walked out of the court room crying and couldn't believe that I was going to be able to see my daughter.
It took over a week to get the paperwork done and in the end everything is good on my part. The only thing I didn't like was that instead of the 5 weeks every summer, I can only see her two non-consecutive weeks in the summer because the lawyer kept pushing that my daughter can't be away from her mother and she's too young.
I didn't have to pay a dime of her $1500 court fees because it is stated "the father brought the matter up in good faith."
I'm happy about it and now I get to see my daughter at the end of this month already! Thank you for all the advice!

ROTFLMAO.

So you got everything you wanted. Except:
- Mom wasn't held in contempt (presumably because you never even showed up to see the kid)
- Your summer visitation was reduced from 5 weeks to 2 non-consecutive weeks (doubling your transportation cost and cutting your visitation time by 60%).

Sounds to me like it wasn't a very favorable decision. Had you followed the advice given here, you'd probably have done much better.

 

[stealth2]

Oh misto.... you're just too silly! Why rain on Emme's parade?

 

[EmmeRose]

What it actually says is that I have to have visitation in MN until September 2011 then I can take her where I want to (ie my place) and it also says that for the summer of 2011 I have to have her in MN for the 2 non-consecutive weeks but then for anything afterwards, we have to have phone conferences with a free mediator together to make all the rules. Once she is older, I know it will be more than 2 non-consecutive weeks but because I haven't seen her since Xmas and I don't want my young daughter to not be away from her mother that long, I'm fine with the "summer of 2011" statement.
So really, I have no idea what the future holds but I feel that it wasn't as bad as I thought. She can't pull anymore crap or excuse why I can't see her because now I get her once a month.
The judge even said that if I show up on my time and day (last Fri of every month at 6pm) at her place and she won't let me see her, I can call the cops and show the paperwork.
I never pressed for her to be held in contempt, the judge asked me and I said no, not this time. Her lawyer tried to get the judge to have my visitation supervised but he said there was no reason for it so it was dismissed.

BTW - What advice really was given besides get a lawyer?

 

[mistoffolees]

What it actually says is that I have to have visitation in MN until September 2011 then I can take her where I want to (ie my place) and it also says that for the summer of 2011 I have to have her in MN for the 2 non-consecutive weeks but then for anything afterwards, we have to have phone conferences with a free mediator together to make all the rules. Once she is older, I know it will be more than 2 non-consecutive weeks but because I haven't seen her since Xmas and I don't want my young daughter to not be away from her mother that long, I'm fine with the "summer of 2011" statement.
So really, I have no idea what the future holds but I feel that it wasn't as bad as I thought. She can't pull anymore crap or excuse why I can't see her because now I get her once a month.
The judge even said that if I show up on my time and day (last Fri of every month at 6pm) at her place and she won't let me see her, I can call the cops and show the paperwork.
I never pressed for her to be held in contempt, the judge asked me and I said no, not this time. Her lawyer tried to get the judge to have my visitation supervised but he said there was no reason for it so it was dismissed.

If you consider that a win, go ahead and be happy.

For example, do you know what happens with "we have to have phone conferences with a free mediator together to make all the rules."?? It means that if she refuses to be cooperative, nothing is likely to happen. She calls the shots.

As for the rest, if you think that getting the last weekend of the month is a win, you're really confused.

BTW - What advice really was given besides get a lawyer?

You got a lot of advice if you weren't too dense to read it.

For example, you were told to make the trip and try to see the child and if you weren't allowed, THEN file for contempt. There was quite a bit of other advice there, but I'm not going to re-post it since you apparently aren't educable.

 

[EmmeRose]

More Drama

Everything went fine up until last month. She denied me visitation for my weekend in November. I drove all the way to pick up my daughter, her boyfriend answered the door and said "you aren't taking my daughter" and slammed the door in my face. I immediately went to the police and of course they filed a police report but couldn't do anything because it is a civil matter.

I called her about an hour later and her boyfriend answered and said that she wants to have a mediator agreement before I get her again. I wrote her an email telling her fine, we can try a mediator and I also sent in the email that I would like her boyfriend to stay out of all of this. I called the mediator to find out that she had called already. The mediator called me back a week later though saying that she now refuses to mediate. The mediator sent me a written statement saying she now refuses.

Since that email that she wrote me almost two weeks ago, she hasn't responded to anything I have written. I have since sent her four emails, sent her two texts and tried calling her three times. I've been keeping track.

I called court on Friday to schedule a court date and the soonest is the first week in Jan. I am supposed to have my daughter one weekend in Dec and then all of Christmas break. What would look best in court in your opinion? Should I drive all the way down there two more times in December to try and get my daughter or should I just wait until court?

The fact that she won't reply to me in any way is telling me that she's going to deny me yet again in December.

I have to submit all of the paperwork between the two next visitations so if she does deny me both times, one of them won't be written down in the paperwork.

I will ask the judge to have her pay me back for my trip down there and for makeup visitation.

Is it unreasonable to ask that her boyfriend and any future boyfriends not be involved in our matter? I don't want to have to go through him to talk to her. It should be between us.

Is there anything else I should ask for or do?

Thank you.

 

[not2cleverRed]

<snip>What would look best in court in your opinion? Should I drive all the way down there two more times in December to try and get my daughter or should I just wait until court?<snip>

Yes. Show up to all visitation dates. Show up on time. Be polite. File police reports if you are then denied visitation.

 

[EmmeRose]

Okay, I can show up two more times, before the court date. I'll just save my $120+ receipts for gas. I can't be spending over $350 just to not see my daughter.