visitation rights for my daugher.

[ashlynnsmama]

i dont control anything. ill admit it and its somthing i need to put a stop to but the guy walks all over me. im always caving to what he wants even if its not somthing i want. hes the one trying to be controling. and yeah when somthing happens to my daughter he knows about it. he knows when shes sick. when she bumps her head. every new thing she learns. i keep the guy in the loop he dosnt keep me in it. if i knew anything that he does good for he i would tell him. but he says nothing to me. he hates me and dosnt give a **** about me. and i have done nothing in my eyes to deserve this from him. hes been the one screwing things up for himself. if i was in his position and there was a good reason for only short visitation i wouldnt like it but id accept it if it was for my daughters own good.

 

[Ithildriel]

Wow....my reaction to this poster was very different than yours. Her style of writing is disjointed and choppy....but I didn't see her as controlling at all...just disjointed and choppy in her writing skills.

And yes, if you take the child to the doctor due to rashes etc., the doctor is going to want to know exactly what the child ate and/or was around. If dad won't tell....then that's a problem.

In one post she says that she doesn't know what is causing the rashes, and the next she does. The posts were two hours apart, did she figure it out in that two hours? Possible, but not likely.

And I guess food can give you a rash without there being an allergy, but I never heard of such a thing, and she claims there is no allergy, but a rash caused by particular foods.

Dad seems to be trying to parent his child.

"He keeps all answers to my questions vague and incomplete"

" he wont tell me anything about what has gone on durring the weekend"

Just a couple of phrases that make me feel like she is trying to micromanage dad, and he has had enough.

If the child is truly only getting these rashes from dad's every other weekend, then she needs to learn to parent with him. If the doctor is asking for a list of foods the child is eating, and dad isn't giving it, then maybe dad should be invited to attend the childs doctor visit so that he knows that it isn't just mom trying to know every single detail of what he is doing on his parenting time.

 

[ashlynnsmama]

In one post she says that she doesn't know what is causing the rashes, and the next she does. The posts were two hours apart, did she figure it out in that two hours? Possible, but not likely.

And I guess food can give you a rash without there being an allergy, but I never heard of such a thing, and she claims there is no allergy, but a rash caused by particular foods.

Dad seems to be trying to parent his child.

"He keeps all answers to my questions vague and incomplete"

" he wont tell me anything about what has gone on durring the weekend"

Just a couple of phrases that make me feel like she is trying to micromanage dad, and he has had enough.

If the child is truly only getting these rashes from dad's every other weekend, then she needs to learn to parent with him. If the doctor is asking for a list of foods the child is eating, and dad isn't giving it, then maybe dad should be invited to attend the childs doctor visit so that he knows that it isn't just mom trying to know every single detail of what he is doing on his parenting time.

Thanks for trying, but i dont need any more of your help. Maybe someone else will be more into your point of view, but not me. Thank you and have a nice day.

 

[LdiJ]

In one post she says that she doesn't know what is causing the rashes, and the next she does. The posts were two hours apart, did she figure it out in that two hours? Possible, but not likely.

And I guess food can give you a rash without there being an allergy, but I never heard of such a thing, and she claims there is no allergy, but a rash caused by particular foods.

Dad seems to be trying to parent his child.

"He keeps all answers to my questions vague and incomplete"

" he wont tell me anything about what has gone on durring the weekend"

Just a couple of phrases that make me feel like she is trying to micromanage dad, and he has had enough.

If the child is truly only getting these rashes from dad's every other weekend, then she needs to learn to parent with him. If the doctor is asking for a list of foods the child is eating, and dad isn't giving it, then maybe dad should be invited to attend the childs doctor visit so that he knows that it isn't just mom trying to know every single detail of what he is doing on his parenting time.

My daughter got rashes from strawberries and tomatoes when she was about the same age as OP's daughter. Her doctor said it wasn't an allergy......and they would go away without any kind of treatment. She grew out of it after a couple of years. I wish I could remember what the doctor said it was instead of an allergy.....but that's been almost 18 years ago....

 

[Ithildriel]

He's your ex, so it doesn't really matter how he feels about you, as long as you both parent the child with her best interests in mind. It sounds like the two of you could benefit from a co-parenting class, because, if nothing else, Dad is wanting to be an active part of his childs life, and that IS a good thing he is doing for her.

http://www.fcsok.org/strengthen_your_family/classes.asp

If he refuses to go with you, or on his own, I would still suggest you look into some parenting classes for yourself. You are going to have to deal with this man for the rest of your child's life. I'm sure that the classes could teach you some skills to cope with him better, even if he wont go. Obviously your current method is not effective with him.

 

[Ithildriel]

My daughter got rashes from strawberries and tomatoes when she was about the same age as OP's daughter. Her doctor said it wasn't an allergy......and they would go away without any kind of treatment. She grew out of it after a couple of years. I wish I could remember what the doctor said it was instead of an allergy.....but that's been almost 18 years ago....

My guess would be aciditiy. Fruits can have a lot of acid in them. I just never heard of such a thing.

 

[LdiJ]

My guess would be aciditiy. Fruits can have a lot of acid in them. I just never heard of such a thing.

I honestly can't remember....that seems logical but she didn't have problems with citrus fruits or juice and they have alot of acid too.....but maybe not the same kind.

 

[Ithildriel]

Thanks for trying, but i dont need any more of your help. Maybe someone else will be more into your point of view, but not me. Thank you and have a nice day.

Then feel free to put me on ignore.

Obviously your point of view is not solving the parenting issues you are having with your ex. Being open to our own possible issues is how we learn and grow and become better people. No one knows the totality of your entire situation but you. Like Ldij said, she saw things different than I did in your posts.

By looking at all different possibilities, from all different angles, and most importanty, trying to understand why your ex is doing what he is doing, that is when you will find the answer. If you are unwilling to see his point of view, and he yours, you are looking at decades of hell to go through, because chances are, he's not going away.

Thank you for the warm wishes, and hope you have a nice day as well.

 

[fairisfair]

My guess would be aciditiy. Fruits can have a lot of acid in them. I just never heard of such a thing.

with us it was bananas and carrots, used to make the babies lips all swelled up. Could be something dad is feeding the baby, or washing her with, or not washing her for that matter. Anyway, I think the main point for OP was regarding a parenting plan and some scheduled visitation.

 

[Silverplum]

Anyway, I think the main point for OP was regarding a parenting plan and some scheduled visitation.

I gave her a comprehensive WA Family Law Courts link in Post #5. She doesn't seem too interested in solving the problem. {no eyes rolled }

 

[fairisfair]

I gave her a comprehensive WA Family Law Courts link in Post #5. She doesn't seem too interested in solving the problem. {no eyes rolled }

Yes, I know that you did, I also gave her advice regarding a parenting plan and the fact that dad has no rights to visitation, let alone directing it at this time. But she seemed to be getting bullied now and you know how I get about that, so I thought I would gently try to direct everybody back on track.

oh no, now they are gonna be mad cause I said bullied, oh well what the hey!

 

[Silverplum]

Yes, I know that you did, I also gave her advice regarding a parenting plan and the fact that dad has no rights to visitation, let alone directing it at this time. But she seemed to be getting bullied now and you know how I get about that, so I thought I would gently try to direct everybody back on track.

oh no, now they are gonna be mad cause I said bullied, oh well what the hey!

Yes, you are good about that. You probably have a very kind heart IRL.

 

[Ohiogal]

Wow....my reaction to this poster was very different than yours. Her style of writing is disjointed and choppy....but I didn't see her as controlling at all...just disjointed and choppy in her writing skills.

And yes, if you take the child to the doctor due to rashes etc., the doctor is going to want to know exactly what the child ate and/or was around. If dad won't tell....then that's a problem.

Actually if you take the child to a pediatric allergist they will ask a bunch of questions and do prick tests to determine what the baby is allergic too without knowing exactly what is causing it.

 

[Zephyr]

I honestly can't remember....that seems logical but she didn't have problems with citrus fruits or juice and they have alot of acid too.....but maybe not the same kind.

that's what it is...my daughter would get an absolute horrible rash from 4oz of orange juice....but she loved that stuff and granny thought it was cute how fast she would guzzle it down- even thought she had been told the reaction......

 

[ashlynnsmama]

She loves apple juice and I hate that she cant have it. Thank you for the link to that site. I have saved it and I will talk an indepth look at it later. I am just trying to get a variety of possible solution and advice. To help me make the correct dessision for the right direction in which to take this. I appreciate the help (some of it more than others).