visitation rights for my daugher.

[Ithildriel]

Yes, I know that you did, I also gave her advice regarding a parenting plan and the fact that dad has no rights to visitation, let alone directing it at this time. But she seemed to be getting bullied now and you know how I get about that, so I thought I would gently try to direct everybody back on track.

oh no, now they are gonna be mad cause I said bullied, oh well what the hey!

Well, I'm assuming I'm the bully here, but since it was her laundry list of complaints that got her thread "off track", which you asked her for, I guess this would be the point where you address that list, keeping the topic on track. There must have been some reason you asked the question.

 

[fairisfair]

Well, I'm assuming I'm the bully here, but since it was her laundry list of complaints that got her thread "off track", which you asked her for, I guess this would be the point where you address that list, keeping the topic on track. There must have been some reason you asked the question.

Well, I do like you better when you are singing. And I must say, your reaction to this poster was out of character for you, I did ask her what kind of problems he was giving her when she refused to let him take the child willy nilly, but that is all I wanted to know, and even then, I think her last response was to Ohio gal regarding her questions of withholding the child, not to me.

 

[Ithildriel]

Well, I do like you better when you are singing. And I must say, your reaction to this poster was out of character for you, I did ask her what kind of problems he was giving her when she refused to let him take the child willy nilly, but that is all I wanted to know.

That's because you can't hear me.

I may have been a bit rough on the op, but everything I said was true. She uses phrasing in her post that comes off as controlling. It's not a big leap that she could easily be using language with dad that sounds controlling to him. I know if every time I went to Dad's kiddo had a rash, and he wasn't listening to what I was telling him needed to be done, my initial response is not going to be to make nice with dad either. And I still believe that this child could definitely benefit from both parents taking a coparenting class. She definitely wants what is best for her child, and dad is displaying a desire to parent as much as possible.

Yes the original theme of the thread is that she needs a parenting plan and visitation schedule in place. But is dad really going to get less than every other weekend, based on the history she has given? Probably not. The drug charges may come into effect, depending on how old they are, but she has already been allowing overnights. Regardless, once the parenting plan is in place, she is going to have to learn to deal with dad. She can't control his behavior, but she can control hers. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. That's all I'm saying.

 

[fairisfair]

That's because you can't hear me.

I may have been a bit rough on the op, but everything I said was true. She uses phrasing in her post that comes off as controlling. It's not a big leap that she could easily be using language with dad sounds controlling to him. I know if every time I went to Dad's kiddo had a rash, and he wasn't listening to what I was telling him needed to be done, my initial response is not going to be to make nice with dad either. And I still believe that this child could definitely benefit from both parents taking a coparenting class. She definitely wants what is best for her child, and dad is displaying a desire to parent as much as possible.

Yes the original theme of the thread is that she needs a parenting plan and visitation schedule in place. But is dad really going to get less than every other weekend, based on the history she has given? Probably not. The drug charges may come into effect, depending on how old they are, but she has already been allowing overnights. But once the parenting plan is in place, she is going to have to learn to deal with dad. She can't control his behavior, but she can control hers. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. That's all I'm saying.

so well said, that almost sounded like a song

 

[ashlynnsmama]

ive tried to be nice to the guy. he just takes advantage of it. fri thru sun visitation is fine and what has been happening so far. but because i have been so nice in the past he thinks he can get away with taking her for longer weekends and she will be fine when she gets back to me. he drug charges are only like no more than 2 yrs old. we have been seperated about that long. He is attending court every friday and other things that are being completed as his penalty for being caught dealing pot.

 

[LdiJ]

ive tried to be nice to the guy. he just takes advantage of it. fri thru sun visitation is fine and what has been happening so far. but because i have been so nice in the past he thinks he can get away with taking her for longer weekends and she will be fine when she gets back to me. he drug charges are only like no more than 2 yrs old. we have been seperated about that long. He is attending court every friday and other things that are being completed as his penalty for being caught dealing pot.

Ah...so he got arrested for dealing????? You would have gotten better advice if you had laid out some of the history before asking your questions.

You are definitely letting him intimidate you too much. Please understand that in order to change existing custody arrangements it usually requires a significant "change in circumstance". A drug dealer on parole/probation is NOT a good candidate for 50/50 custody.....particularly of an infant/toddler, since judges are generally not fond of that arrangement for an infant/toddler, even when both parents are "saints".

It would probably be in your best interest to at least go get a consult with a local attorney. I realize that its expensive to hire one.....however if you had an attorney you probably wouldn't be stressing nearly as much.