Visitation- sick child and flying

[delvalle5]

What is the name of your state? Washington

My 7 year old son is scheduled to visit his father in California tomorrow. I have spoken with the airlines and they said it would be no problem to change the flight. I took my son to the doctor who said he could fly if he had to, but highly recommended that he wait a few days. My ex-husband is telling me that he will file an order with the court if I don't put my son on the plane tomorrow. The airlines said there was plenty of space on the Monday flight. If I don't put him on the plane until Monday, can my ex-husband cause me legal troubles?

 

[stealth2]

What does your court order say about Christmas visitation? (I assume that's what this is.) What accomodations are you prepared to make to ensure Dad doesn't lose any time?

 

[delvalle5]

The visitation order is a stipulation to the court, it says from the 17th of december to the 30th of december. It would be difficult to give him more time as my son goes to school and they return on Jan. 2. I don't know what I could do to compensate him for his day and a half loss, but isn't it reasonable that the needs of the child come first?

 

[stealth2]

Why can't you change the return flight to have him come back on the 1st, or have him miss a day of school and return on the 2nd?

If Dad doesn't agree and you don't put him on the flight, Dad could file against you for contempt of the order. And he'd stand a decent chance of winning.

 

[CalifLawyer]

What is the name of your state? Washington

My 7 year old son is scheduled to visit his father in California tomorrow. I have spoken with the airlines and they said it would be no problem to change the flight. I took my son to the doctor who said he could fly if he had to, but highly recommended that he wait a few days. My ex-husband is telling me that he will file an order with the court if I don't put my son on the plane tomorrow. The airlines said there was plenty of space on the Monday flight. If I don't put him on the plane until Monday, can my ex-husband cause me legal troubles?

No problem. Just fax your ex a copy of the doctor's note that says the diagnosis and the conclusion - - just as you have stated here.

What's that? You don't have anything in writing from the doctor?

Then I would strongly suggest that you bundle little Bobby up, and get him on that airplane. Otherwise, you're in for a lot of trouble.

IAAL

 

[delvalle5]

I actually do have something from the doctor. That isn't the problem. My ex says that he is sick and it doesn't matter whether it is here or there. I say that the cabin pressure changes that occur during take off and landing can affect the ears and cause pain, not to mention the 103 temp and take off usually mean vomiting... The ex doesn't agree. He says he can tell over the phone that my son doesn't have a runny nose. I took a picture as CYA. My ex doesn't have a fax machine, but I would need to fax the note to the airlines... do you think this would be sufficient?

 

[delvalle5]

missing school

My son has been having a hard time at school. He is in special classes to help him catch up and goes to tutoring. Missing even one day of school is a bad idea. My ex tries to use everything against me, and has even said that my son's learning difficulties are my fault. If he were to be quoting genetics, it would be his fault as I am a college student with a 4.0 and he graduated high school without being able to read. My son's education is important. I cannot compromise that, not even for a day.

 

[VA_Mom]

What is the name of your state? Washington

I took my son to the doctor who said he could fly if he had to....

Well, he has to fly. So inform the airline to watch over him on the flight and make sure dad is at the gate waiting for him.

 

[CalifLawyer]

I actually do have something from the doctor. That isn't the problem. My ex says that he is sick and it doesn't matter whether it is here or there. I say that the cabin pressure changes that occur during take off and landing can affect the ears and cause pain, not to mention the 103 temp and take off usually mean vomiting... The ex doesn't agree. He says he can tell over the phone that my son doesn't have a runny nose. I took a picture as CYA. My ex doesn't have a fax machine, but I would need to fax the note to the airlines... do you think this would be sufficient?

First of all, and since you've waited until the eleventh hour, I would suggest that you get Bobby on that airplane. You stated yourself, "I took my son to the doctor who said he could fly if he had to, but highly recommended that he wait a few days."

That means the kid can fly.

Unless you have some way of delivering a doctor's note to your ex that says, "Little Bobby shall not fly in his current condition, etc., etc.", I would once again suggest that you bundle little Bobby up and get him on that plane.

You're playing Russian Roulette with your custody. Wanna take a chance on that, or paying for Contempt of Court proceedings? Your choice.

IAAL

 

[stealth2]

Well, your son's doctor said that he COULD fly, so that's not going to buy you anything.

Okay as far as missing school. However, if he is to return 12/30 and school starts back on 1/2, that's 2+ days that he could stay longer at Dad's. What about a long weekend in January or February (MLK day or Presidents' Day)?

 

[delvalle5]

My ex isn't offering any suitable options. He did say that my son might be able to fly out on Sunday (one day later) at my expense and that the return date would have to be extended several days. I'm not seeing a compromise that makes any sense, nor will I have anything in writing from him.

 

[delvalle5]

As far as waiting to the 11th hour... I did not schedule my son's illness. I took him to see the doctor at 3pm and have been discussing this with my ex ever since. If I put him on the plane due to threats from him and something happens to my son-- heaven help my ex.

 

[CalifLawyer]

As far as waiting to the 11th hour... I did not schedule my son's illness. I took him to see the doctor at 3pm and have been discussing this with my ex ever since. If I put him on the plane due to threats from him and something happens to my son-- heaven help my ex.

No, Heaven help you if you don't have a doctor's note that says "he shall not fly." Are you even reading, or are you only reading what you want?

You're not putting him on that plane due to your ex's threats. You're doing it because you don't have the proper documentation and because of the court order and your fear of losing custody.

IAAL

 

[stealth2]

My ex isn't offering any suitable options. He did say that my son might be able to fly out on Sunday (one day later) at my expense and that the return date would have to be extended several days. I'm not seeing a compromise that makes any sense, nor will I have anything in writing from him.

Nothing unreasonable or unsuitable in his suggestion. He is agreeing to have the child come a day later (as opposed to the two days you propose) and expects make-up time. The child's doctor has indicated that the child CAN fly tomorrow. If you'd rather change the flight - you SHOULD be the one paying for it.

 

[delvalle5]

I am reading. I also know a thing or two about this man's history. I know that he has documented domestic violence and neglect--yes, in the court records. I know that he is what most consider a "dead beat dad" who only pays what is garnished from his check, not the court ordered "half of the medical" or the court ordered assistance with the tutoring. I know that he isn't paying on the back owed child support any longer, even though he owes. I realize that it would be a breach of contract for me to not put my son on the plane, but the real question would be if it could be considered a special circumstance, especially since the child would still be going, just 40 hours later.